It had been five days and still no sign of Masked Idiot. Tomorrow was his deadline. The day I’d cut him off and he was still a no show. The thought turned my stomach.
After the third day, I gave in and hit him up on Instagram. He didn’t reply.
Last night, I hit my lowest and asked Tammy of his whereabouts like a proper unsympathetic sociopath, asking about her ex just days after the breakup.
It was a wasted effort at the end. She had no news on him.
I heaved a sigh and threw the novel I had been reading -mostly failing at- onto my bed in frustration. I had been on the same page for almost an hour. Gaming wasn’t even an option seeing as I couldn’t bring myself to concentrate on anything. I would get my ass handed to me and lose points, and since I planned on selling the account soon, I couldn’t afford that.
It was a miracle I had managed to keep my distress from those around me. Actually, it wasn’t. Nobody was paying attention. Keeping it from them was easy.
Growling quietly, I decided to take a shower to cool off.
I was really going to kill him if he wasn’t already dead. My stomach couldn’t take any more knots of worry. It felt like I was walking around with a boulder on my chest. Like I couldn’t get in enough air, couldn’t breathe deeply enough. How he ever managed living like this, with a constant worry at the back of his mind, was beyond me. I couldn’t stand it. I hated it. I had brought it on myself and that made me hate it even more. It was all me. Me and my wilful caretaker tendencies. He was a grown man, he didn’t need me worrying about him but of course, it was my nature and I couldn’t help it. Now I was paying for it.
“I swear this is all my fault.” I growled, slipping on pajama shorts and a tank top with my hair wrapped in an old cotton t-shirt.
“I should’ve called my dad on him when I had the chance,” I mutteerd under my breath.
Roughly pulling open the door to my room, I continued viciously, “Or thrown him out the day he showed up beaten and half dead.”
I flicked on the lights, bathing the room with a golden glow.
“I should never have eve--”
I jumped back reflexively, eyes widening in shock as I took in the figure reclining on my bed.
My eyes narrowed to slits.
“You.” I bared my teeth, enmity radiating from my pores as I took calculated predatory steps towards the boy on my bed.
Sensing evil intent, he rose to his feet and for a split second, his eyes drifted to the window he had crawled in through. I could tell he was contemplating running away.
“Don’t.” I hissed, taking another predatory step forward. “Even think about it.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed.
“Hi.” His voice was infused with a forced cheerfulness that was out of place given the current mood.
“You are going to die.” I said it with a quiet deadliness that made it clear I wasn’t joking in the least. “But first, you’ll explain.”
He nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.
“Do you have any idea,” I snarled, eyes glowing with anger, “what you put me through? Do you?”
He took a step back, putting his hands up to ward me off.
“Nothing can save you.” I chuckled darkly. “I was so worried. I thought you got caught. That you were dead. Or worse. You’ll pay for that.”
I stopped a step away from him, well within swinging distance for a punch.
“Sorry,” he ventured.
“Sorry isn’t going to cut it.” I snarled.
I was a bull. He was red.
“I really am. I didn’t think yo--”
“You didn’t think!” I snapped, cutting him off. It was accompanied by a blow he didn’t see coming.
“I was so scared,” I admitted quietly.
He held my gaze steady, apology pouring from his depths.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I truly am.”
A sudden wave of weariness took hold of me. I sighed.
“I was terrified.” I heaved a sigh, my head falling against his chest.
The wind had left my sails and suddenly all I was, was tired. His arms came around me, holding me up before I could even start to fall.
“I thought...” I swallowed the aching lump in my throat. “I thought the worst. It was... I thought... I thought you were gone.” Tears coated my lashes as I blinked in a bid to stop them from falling.
I hated myself a little for it and the way my voice came out croaky and brittle.
“I couldn’t. I... it was...”
I released my breath on a sigh and gave up on articulating my thoughts.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I’m really sorry.”
My eyes drifted shut as I drew in a deep breath, steeling myself. Two breakdowns in the space of two weeks was a record for me. It was a weakness I couldn’t allow to continue. A part of me was already cringing at the fact that I actually admitted to being worried. I already couldn’t believe I did it and I was still living the moment.
I was going to beat myself up for this for forever.
“Don’t do it again,” I said, picking up what was left of my dignity. My voice was hard as ice, driving away -at least I hoped- the image of me falling into his arms.
What had I been thinking falling against him like that?
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