Wolf-less Omega Luna novel Chapter 75

Alana’s POV

I inhaled sharply through my mouth as soon as I opened my eyes and I came up for air. My hand immediately went to my forehead and it was moist with sweat. My heart wouldn’t stop racing and it suddenly became furnace-hot under the covers.

Tossing it back as quickly as my hands would allow me, I scanned the room through the soft stripe of light that colored the space from the dimly lit moon. I didn’t have a problem seeing in the dark anymore. Axel wasn’t in bed. Or maybe it wasn't bedtime yet and I had fallen asleep too quickly.

The clock on the nightstand read a few minutes to nine PM. So, yeah, I had fallen asleep as soon as I hit the bed shortly after Lexi left.

I got up from the bed, running my palms over my exposed arms to warm up the hairs that were now standing at attention on my arms and even at the back of my neck. Then I crossed over to the sitting area and looked into the mirror. Pregnancy was beginning to do a number on me. How wonderful is it to be a werewolf and pregnant?

You could practically smell it on us.

I thought about swapping the silk nightgown for something thicker and warmer but decided against it. I could manage.

Then I opened the door and locked it behind me. Axel’s office was at the corner of the far end of the hallway and a turn to the left. I made a beeline for it hoping that that’s where he was.

The visible soft light that I saw through his closed office door confirmed that he was in. I tapped my knuckles on the door and probed the handle when I heard a “come in,” from Axel.

There was nothing special about his outfit. It was the same one that he wore to the ceremony but it didn’t fail to catch my attention and make me swoon like a teenager. Maybe it was about him sitting so casually behind a table with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, two buttons undone, and a paper covering half of his face.

“Alana,” his thick voice called.

“You’re awake,” I said, starting with simple words and moving on to more complex ones.

“Yes. I just had some work to do before bed. You were asleep a moment ago, correct?”

“Ah…yes. I was resting my eyes and then I fell asleep. I woke back up either way,” I waved him away.

“You can sit,” he pointed out and I pulled a chair out to sit opposite him. “Here,” he added and tapped on his lap twice and I strolled over to sit on his lap.

My leg was slightly turned away from the table with my back facing him so he couldn’t see how flushed my cheeks were once I made contact with his solid but warm body.

“What did you say you were working on?”

“Assessing the impact of Derek on the pack’s resources and numbers,” he mumbled. “We need to rebuild some structures that were affected, renovate some that weren’t, and put a few new ones in place. We also need to put support systems in place for more of the pack members.”

“Right. And where are we renovating?” I asked as I rolled the undone buttons on the arm of his sleeves between my fingers.

“The pack house. You mentioned that some of the rooms weren’t in great condition anymore.”

“Oh.” His left hand snaked around my waist and pulled me closer to his chest, making me feel all sorts of things but I didn’t resist. I let myself feel them.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“Nothing.” I felt him lightly shaking his head. “I think it’s time for some changes around here, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I couldn’t agree more,” I chuckled as his hair grazed the side of my face to allow his lips to have access to my neck. He inhaled softly before leaving pecks on my already sensitive neck.

“Alana,” his left hand moved to my stomach.

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry.”

I almost didn’t want to, but I turned fully to the other side of the table so that our faces were mere inches apart from each other. His eyes, which were once always unreadable, now held all sorts of emotions in them.

Even without looking at his eyes, I could have felt it. 

“No. I’m sorry. I…”

“Let me, Alana,” he held my chin in between his thumb and forefinger. Why did I still feel this defenseless when Axel had his hands on me? Defenseless because I didn’t feel the need to put up a wall when it came to him. Safe, you could say. Why did I still feel this way even after months?

My hand came up and wrapped the wrist on my chin but I didn’t pull him away. We just stayed there.

I nodded.

“I shouldn’t have kept any of it from you. At first, I wanted to forget everything that went down that day, I shoved all of it to the back of my mind because I just couldn’t help it. When you came along, I couldn’t bear the guilt. Even if we weren’t the cause of the attack, I couldn’t help but feel guilty.”

“Why would you?” I searched his eyes.

“If only we weren’t there that day, MoonDay pack wouldn’t have become what it was. What it is. Your parents would probably still be alive and your dad might not have turned that way. You would have grown up in your pack with your friends and parents, and you wouldn’t have been treated the way you were. I’m sorry. I didn’t have the faintest idea. Britney was put in charge of catering for the omegas, but as usual, she stuck with what she was good at. Being a bully. It’s all excuses but…”

“Listen to yourself, Axel,” his confused eyes met mine. “My parents probably… My dad might… I would have… all of these are assumptions. Who’s to say my life wouldn’t have been worse than that if I had stayed?”

“The truth would have helped at least.”

“You’re right about that. But don’t you think, for one second, that I regret anything that happened to the point where I would wish for things to have been different. Okay?” I shook my head as I spoke and cupped his face with my free hand. “Besides, Axel, if I didn’t move here, I wouldn’t have you. We wouldn’t have her,” I released my hand from his wrist and put it over his hand that was still on my stomach.

“It’s a boy,” he grimaced.

“We’ll see. I’m not arguing that with you,” I laughed.

His lips also thinned into one of the most genuine smiles and he even crinkled around the eyes as he squeezed on my stomach.

“Can we make a promise then?” I asked.

“Anything.”

“Honesty from here on and out. Complete honesty. We’re in this together even if we get mad at each other. If we’re going to make this work, then we have to be able to trust one another. At all times. I want us to have what I see when I look at your parents.”

He nodded as I spoke. “I understand. One hundred percent honesty. And you can trust me, Alana. I do you.”

“And I trust you too, Axel. How could I not?”