Accidental Surrogate for Alpha novel Chapter 195

Sinclair

When I arrive in the dream forest, I’m alone – as I have been almost every night since I left.

However, rather than calling for my mate as I usually do, by picturing her in my mind and willing her to come to me with the sheer force of my longing and determination, I send my power outward. I unleash the full force of my magic, spreading it as far and wide as I can, searching every inch of this enchanted plane of existence. It rolls off of me like a dense fog, ebbing past the limits of my own consciousness to delve through the mating bond and track Ella.

Dreams are strange this way: both closer to and more distant from reality, so that our souls can join when the Goddess’s power is at its peak, even as doors to fantastical and surreal worlds swing wide. I don’t know where my mate is, but as long as she is also in the realm of dreams, I know I can find her.

It isn’t easy. It takes what feels like hours to finally sense her presence, to detect her heartbeat across the vast expanse of ethereal worlds. Finally I find her, though she is very, very far away. To reach her I must travel through dozens of different dreams: some my own, some Ella’s, Some a combination of both. It’s hard not to pause and get distracted, especially when I come across a shared imagination of us playing with our young son, ol the depiction of peace in the united packs and our future on the throne. I’d like to stay in those fantasies forever, but to do so would be to abandon Ella in her time of need.

I also struggle when I come across a sensual vision of Ella and I roleplaying as little red riding hood and the big bad wolf, especially when I realize the dream is hers. Still I forge on, though I certainly make note of the idea for the future.

There are odd things too, like the giant frog telling fortunes for a call-in psychic hotline, or the pirate ship full of ballet-dancing vegetables. Others simply make me smile, like Ella’s craving-driven fantasy of a real-life candy land, or my own childhood wish of riding a dragon as it flies through the air on great leathery wings.

Eventually I move through every variation of happy and bizarre dreams, until the sky darkens overhead and the road I’m traveling becomes harsh and cold. I know I’m entering the realm of nightmares now, and I brace myself for the horrors ahead. I ignore the haunting visions that tormented me as a child – the fire that k!lled my mother, the monsters hiding in my closet. I even manage to move past Ella’s youthful terrors – things that would absolutely destroy me if I had to see them for myself.

Her heartbeat and scent dràw me deeper and deeper into the darkness, until I can feel her just around the next bend in the path. I expect to find my mate at the mercy of the priests who bound her wolf, but suddenly I find myself in a forest I know all too well – the one where I spent the best days of my childhood. Only this time it’s not welcoming and magical, but a vile place full of terror and pain. When my mate finally comes into view, she is not a small girl wrapped in a fiery cocoon. Instead I see a half-starved teenager, injured and dirty, but fighting for her life as two human men bear down on her.

My wolf roars in my ears, and my vision goes red.

Ella

I’m back in the forest.. wolves howling in the distance… pounding footsteps hot on my heels.

Falling, tumbling… crashing into the earth over and over again.

It’s happening all over again, the panting breath, the sickening smiles. “Now look at what you’ve done, you stupid girl.”

Two robed figures in the darkness, illuminated in a shaft of moonlight between the trees. Searing pain across my cheek… the horrible kn0wledge that there is no escape from this violation.

Sickness… my body being dragged. a glint of silver in the leaves. My legs being wrenched apart and my clothes ripping… blind, thoughtless anger, aggression like I’ve never felt. Blood gushing over me, hot, sticky and metallic. It stains my skin, forever marking me like a grey tattoo, a reminder of what I’ve done.

Murderer… I’m a murderer… and the priests are still just watching. I try to swing the knife again, only this time my hand is empty. The dagger is gone. I scour the ground for my weapon, but it’s gone. I look toward the priests as the second man bears down on me. “The knife!” I shout frantically. “

Where did it go!?”

This isn’t right. In my memory I k!lled them both..I saved myself despite the cost of violence. The priests stay silent, and now the other man is forcing his way between my legs. No! Not this.. not after everything that’s already happened. “Please, help me!” I scream, giving up any sense of pride, any b.ravery. “Please, don’t let him do this!”

A fist slams into my face, “I’m going to make you pay for this, b!tch.” My attacker snarls, gesturing to his dead friend.

“No – please!” I cry, “it wasn’t supposed to happen this way, you should be dead.”