Accidental Surrogate for Alpha novel Chapter 196

Ella

“What do you mean, it was a memory?” Sinclair asks carefully. “I thought the priests came to you in the orphanage? I don’t remember anything about humans attacking you in the woods.”

I stare at my lap, cradling my belly and trying to figure out how to explain my deceit. I knew this conversation was inevitable -I even prepared for it, but these are not the circ.umstances I expected. I didn’t imagine I would be so emotionally fragile, or that Sinclair would be wrapped around me purring, fresh off of rescuing me from a traumatic nightmare. I thought I would be able to present my case and apologize, acknowledging my wrong doing with confidence and strength of conviction.

Now I fear it’s going to tumble out as a mess of excuses and tangled feelings.

“Ella?” Sinclair presses, his voice taking on a dominant tone.

When I finally look up at him, tears pour from my lashes. “Ive still been doing the hypnosis.” I confess, my l!ps quivering with every word. “I went behind your back and convinced the others to help me.”

Sinclair’s glowing emerald eyes bore into me as me.”

Sinclair’s glowing emerald eyes bore into me as his jaw clenches tight, the muscles twitching dangerously. I open my mind to him, showing him everything that happened through our bond, both the lead up to the second session and the events we uncovered through the ether. I even show him the conversation afterwards, not wanting to hold anything back now that the game is up.

Slowly, carefully, Sinclair sets my body away from his, even as I try to cling to hìm. “No, please don’t leave, Dominic.”

“Im not leaving.” He assures me gruffly. “I just need to think a minute and I can’t do that clearly when you’re snuggled up giving me those puppy dog eyes.”

I sniffle, and I can feel his wolf’s continued agitation over me tears, even as the possessive Alpha struggles with his temper. I Wrap my arms around my knees, clamping my hand over my wrist in a death grip so Il stay still. I’m finding it very difficult not to squirm in the face of my mate’s disapproval.

Sinclair paces back and forth, growling wordlessly as he works through his thoughts. He doesn’t let me feel his emotions, but a few slip out, giving me flashes of anger, frustration and… heart wrenching disappointment. I’m shocked at how powerfully the last affects me. I’ve heard people who grew up in happy families say that disappointment can be worse than anger, something I’ve never understood until this moment. I didn’t believe anything could be more họrrible than the violence and pain wrought by a perSon’s rage, I didn’t realize how different things are when love is involved.. when a person is your entire world and you let them down. I start to cry again, and hide my face in my knees so he can’t see my tears.

After a moment his footsteps fall silent, and I lift my face to find my mate looming above me, a cold expression on his face. “What am I supposed to say to this Ella?”

“Whatever you like.” I croak. “Whatever you’re thinking, whatever you’re feeling. I know I was wrong.”

“Do you?” He counters roughly. “Because it seemed to me you were so convinced you were right you were willing to betray my trust. To ask my family, friends and guards to do the same.”

“Not wrong for doing it, wrong for lying about it, hiding it.” I amend softly. Let me out. My wolf begs.

I need to make it up to him. Let me show him how sorry I am.

Not yet. I caution her. We need to have this out first.

“What did you think would happen?” Sinclair asks, crossing his arms over his c.hest. “That you’d uncover the secret to Winning the war and that would excuse what you did? That you could come to me when I got home, tell me everything you learned and be forgiven?”

I shake my head, absolutely miserable. “I just needed to know. We needed to know. But I don’t believe it excuses anything.”

“You didn’t even give me a chance to agree.”

Sinclair bites, and even though he’s furious, he doesn’t seem to be able to resist touching me. He slides his powerful hand around my nape, applying gentle pressure that somehow steadies and thrills me.

“I did,” I insist, l!cking my l!ps. “I tried to talk to you but you wouldn’t listen.”