Alpha alec's redemption (Sadie) novel Chapter 166

Alec.

Having Sadie in my arms was a totally new feeling. I can’t describe it because I don’t really understand it all. Feeling her next to me in that close and intimate way shifted something inside me. Something I couldn’t even begin to try to explain.

Every cell of my body came to life. It’s like they have been electrocuted back to life after a long time. Sparks and currents zapped inside me, making me feel alive after a long time of feeling dead inside.

I didn’t think when I hugged her. All I knew was that she was worried, and I wanted to ease her worry. Wanted to help her carry the burden she was struggling with. Never once did I think that holding her close would bring feelings to the surface. Feelings I never thought I’d feel again after Lola.

Everything felt right. She felt right being in my arms. Like that is where she was always meant to be. I didn’t want to let her go, something that surprised me to the core. I wanted her with me. I wanted to feel her. To have her. To mate her and make her mine, completely.

I know that I had vowed to win her back, but having her this way felt different. I wanted her back because she’s my mate. She’s supposed to be my Luna. The feelings I got when I held her confused the living daylights out of me. At that moment, I wanted her as more than just my mate or Luna. I wanted her as my partner and the love of my life.

When she pushed me away, the tether that had held us close broke. I felt the cold immediately, as the warmth from her body and the bond disappeared. I wanted nothing but to pull her back to me. To hold on to her and never let her go. Ever again.

To hear her say that what she felt for me died in the dungeon three years ago, twisted a knife that was buried in my heart. I don’t think there is anything that has ever hurt me like her words did. The high I was riding suddenly came to a stop, and I crushed. The light that was beginning to shine inside me went off. I was suddenly filled with darkness and chilling coldness.

I once had her. I had her love. Instead, I destroyed it with my bare hands. Now she hates me, and I don’t know how to fix that. I don’t know how to get back the love I carelessly threw away. It’s honestly funny. I consciously shattered her three years ago, not really knowing that I would one day come to crave her like the very air I breathed.

Rubbing my chest, I try to ease the ache I feel there. The ache that her words caused. It does no good, because it seems like with each breath I take, the fucking ache intensifies. Maybe this is my punishment for hurting my mate.