Alpha's Blind Luna novel Chapter 23

My eyes opened and I was in an unfamiliar forest. I was glad it wasn’t the tight space of the castle that I normally dreamed. The trees grew taller here than at home and they provided much more of a canopy. It even smelled different. It was still clear and crisp but the trees weren’t the same and the grass wasn’t the same.

My feet were bare and I was wearing the sweats that I had on when I fell into bed after my shower. The grass felt cool and I thought this dream was surprisingly realistic for what I had been dealing with the past months. Though the first time I dreamed about him was an experience I don’t think my ass would forget. I shivered from the memory.

The wind blew through the trees and I turned to follow the breeze. My eyes fell on my mate. He was leaning against a tree, eyes closed, wearing nothing but boxers. I let my eyes roam over his body. He seemed different from when I first saw him but then, I was comparing him to a dream I had which was already weird. His eyes opened and his head turned to look at me.

At first, there was surprise but then I saw how his brow started to furrow and the slight smile he had on turned down. Panic started to rise in my chest and I knew I couldn’t take it again. I couldn’t handle that look and I would do anything to stop it. My feet carried me to him and I took his face in my hands. Pulling him down, I crashed my lips on his.

Heart hammering in my chest, I let my hands move into his long white hair and held on for dear life. His hair was so soft, softer than anything I had felt before and I wondered if his fur felt the same. My eyes were squeezed shut because I refused to see the look on his face. Refused to see the anger and pain and resentment. His hands though, grasped my hips and pulled me closer. I couldn’t help the feeling of elation as he pulled me tight against him.

We had to take a breath and his forehead rested against mine. I dared to look at him but his face was blank, his eyes closed.

“Why couldn’t you wait for us?”

The pain and sadness in his voice made me swallow hard. “I already had been Alpha for nine years. Usually, our pack is so secluded that we have mate pairings within the pack but nine years without a mate, I was required to get a chosen one.”

“You’re the Alpha. You’re not required to do anything, Ezekiel.”

The way he said my name sent shivers down my spine. “I was never supposed to be Alpha. My older brother was. He died when I was thirteen. I was all we had left and I didn’t know how to be an Alpha. I was doing what was requested of me.”

“And now…?”

I looked back up at him and his eyes bore into me. They were such a light brown that you could see the dark lines within. His intensity as he stared, I no longer needed to wonder what it felt to melt into a puddle.

“I…I don’t know…”

Flashes of pain and anger made me realize I had said the wrong thing. His jaw set and his brow furrowed. “I wondered if you would be like Eros. I guess you are.”

My eyes widened and I stepped back. “How…how do you know about Alpha Eros?”

“You think I didn’t do my research, Ezekiel? I wonder if your opinion of me is the same as your Beta. What did he call me? Itty bitty little twat?”

“I…he…he didn’t mean it.”

He chuckled. It wasn’t out of happiness. It was hollow. “If he hadn’t said it in the confidence of speaking with his Alpha, I may have believed you.”

For a moment, his eyes looked through me, not seeing me. When I tried to reach out to him though, he snapped back to reality and leaned away from me. He was angry.

“Eros and Odin both made mistakes in their meeting. They evened the playing field for how they acted to each other before they worked out their relationship.” He stepped up to me, pulling his full height. I could feel his power and my head leaned back as I looked up at him. “I am no Odin, Ezekiel. I am disappointed, hurt, and angry that my mate doesn’t want to be with me.”

“That’s…!” I started to speak but he growled, silencing me.

He didn’t say anything for a minute but his hand brushed my cheek. I leaned into his touch, reveling in it but his hand dropped to his side.

“You’ve had time to work through this, Ezekiel. If you still haven’t chosen me, then the next time I see you, I expect you to reject me.”

My heart sunk and I couldn’t stop my knees from collapsing. The thought of rejecting my mate sent a sense of pain and fear through me. One that I had never known before.

“I can’t…”

“You can, and you will. I will not have a mate who will feel shame or anger that I have taken him away from his pack. I will not have a mate who tells me he doesn’t know if he wants to be with me!”

I winced at the anger as his words lashed out at me. My eyes closed and my head turned down. “And it’s easy for you? To have an Alpha as a mate? To have someone like me?”

“You are my mate. My goddess given and my fated. I would have given you everything I had. It’s not much now but one day, I hoped to give my mate a home and a family. I realized it didn’t matter if you were male or female. Only that if you loved me and accepted me as well.”