We sat on the floor, her legs were draped over mine as her back leaned against my broken bed. My back was against the wall and her fingers were intertwined in mine.
“So…you saw him from a balcony twice. You know he is your mate. You keep dreaming about him and this time you met him, you talked. It did not go well and you woke up.”
I nodded, my head was leaned back against the wall, and my eyes were closed. Somewhere in the middle of the explanation, I had stopped crying. It didn’t feel better though, my heart still hurt with every beat.
“How do you know if he actually hates you?”
“You didn’t see his face that day, Rose. Leo could tell you. It nearly brought me to my knees. He was livid. He was still fair and still advised the council on our situation but he was so angry. He didn’t even stay for the rest of the meeting, he left and slammed the door so loud behind him even some of the High Councilors flinched.”
She nodded but narrowed her eyes. “How do you know that it was even him in the dream? What if you’re just projecting your insecurities in the form of him? That your subconscious is building him?”
“It would be hard to explain. I just…know. It happens and I can tell the difference between the dreams. The ones where I’m reliving the same moment of seeing him. This was different, felt different. On top of that, I don’t even think my subconscious could come up with the thought of rejection. Of us rejecting him…” My sentence trailed off as I tried to breathe through the pain.
Rose squeezed my hand, helping me refocus and not give into the panic attack. “Zeke, why didn’t you say anything?”
“What could I do, Rose? ‘Hey it turns out history is repeating itself for our pack?’ Hell, even Vale knew about Alpha King Odin and Alpha Eros. Plus, if Leo found out…”
Her nose wrinkled as she grimaced. “We are going to have to tell them eventually. When I have this child, either we will have a couple years before they realize he isn’t going to present himself as an Alpha or we will have no time cause he’s going to come out with a full head of red hair.”
I chuckled. “With how much heartburn you’ve had, he’s probably got a full mane.”
“Goddess, you are so fucking right.” She laughed and shook her head, her hand absently rubbing her stomach. “I’m serious though. We need to tell them.”
“Then what, Rose? The elders get pissed. Remove your title? Throw another she-wolf at me? Anyone unmated at this point is between eighteen and twenty. I would know, I sign the paperwork. I’m not mating with a child.”
She chuckled. “How old is the Alpha King? Leo keeps calling him a college aged twat.”
I let off a growl and it made her laugh harder. “Leo is so going to regret his attitude later. I want to be there for that.”
“I don’t know how old he is.”
“You didn’t do any digging on him? Who he is? Who is family is? Nothing?”
I shook my head and she threw her hands in the air. “Ezekiel Silver, you should be ashamed of yourself!”
“I’m sorry. I’m not snooping around like a stalker.”
Rose shook her head and sighed. “He’s obviously done some research on you. I mean, he must have been so sad. We’ve kept our secret and so the outside world believes you are mated and have a pup on the way. He must have found out between the first meeting and the second.”
I felt the tears start to come back but I took a couple of calculated breaths. “I would have probably felt the same as him. Especially if I was younger. He didn’t even have a chance.”
“What do you want to do?”
I looked at Rose, her eyes were watching me, gaging my reaction or my emotions. My eyes left hers and I looked down at our legs. My hands reached out and started to massage her ankles as I chewed on her question. A small smile came to my lips when I heard her moan.
“I don’t know.”
“That’s a lie.”
My eyes narrowed as I massaged her swollen ankles harder. “It’s not. My head is telling me don’t be stupid. My family is here, my friends, my life. Literally, my entire bloodline is here. I am Alpha and I have my place. This pack trusts me to do my duty and to act accordingly.”
“But…that’s your head. What does you heart want?”
My hands stopped for a moment, holding her. “Rose, I want to say fuck it. I want to pass my title to Owen and throw myself into the arms of my mate. I want to somehow have a family with him, to give him all the love he deserves. I want to be there for him in everything. And goddess above I want him to fuck me so bad.”
Rose snorted and slapped my arm. I chuckled and went back to kneading her ankles. Sighing, I added. “Life doesn’t work out how we want it. The elders are going to find that out when that tuff of bright red hair crowns in a few weeks and I have to accept my fate.”
“I think you’re wrong. I think the moon goddess knew exactly what she was doing.” She leaned forward and took my chin in her hands. “Your brother was supposed to be Alpha. He was the older one and so you would have been free to go with your mate.”
“But my brother’s dead, Rose.”
She inhaled sharply. “I know that, Zeke. But you also aren’t the only Silver. Owen is his son and should have taken over anyways. He already has a mate and you know they will most likely start having pups soon. He’s going to be nineteen this year. The boy was supposed to take over four years ago at the earliest. You’ve just been protecting him.”
“He doesn’t want it.”
“Neither did you!”
I growled. “Then how can I force it on him, Rose? Knowing what I had to do, how can I force this position on him?”
“Because it’s where he belongs, Zeke! You think it’s any coincidence that we never had pups for all the sex we had? Because it was never supposed to be your line that continued on here. You were always meant for Vale.”
“So I’m just supposed to say, ‘fuck it’? Throw the title on Owen and leave? Leave everyone behind? You, Cory, Leo?”
She laughed. “Who said we weren’t going to go with you, dumb ass?”
My eyes widened. “No way. How could you? You have…”
“The same exact people you do, Zeke. If we all go together, that’s our family. Owen is young and he has his own support system. Leo won’t be Beta and Cory maybe could be Gamma but he will go where I go. I don’t know how happy your mate will be having your ex-Luna, ex-mate with you, but I’m willing to fight for the right.” Tears shinned in my eyes again and she laughed. “Hey! Don’t stop. You’re hands are like magic. Cory just rubs them and they get all red.”
I chuckled and nodded. As my hands massaged her feet, I looked for the clock on the wall but it wasn’t there. Leaning forward, I caught the time on the floor.
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