Be Your Own Spring novel Chapter 84

I thought we were about to have serious conversation.

But no, he has to act all hoxy in front of me.

sigh

He sat beside me and I crossed my legs and patted them for him to put his head on, he adjusted himself on my lap and closed his eyes taking a sharp intake of breath.

This gave me time to check out his abs.

Woah! He has alot of them he has- 1, 2 ,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 pack. Woah! 8 pack!

My heart!

Why can't I have packs? I just have a fat belly.

I was in my thoughts when Kezr started speaking.

Time to get serious.

"You might be confused as to if Elijah is my dad then who died?" I nodded, "Well, Elijah is my step dad."

Shocked. Stunned. Startled.

Step what?

"What?" I asked him with my mouth agape, it suddenly felt dry.

"Yeah... Its pretty fucked up, but...well, uhh-okay just.... Just embrace yourself this is going to be alot." Kezr warned and looked at me, to see my shocked face.

"I said embrace yourself and you're already out of control?"

I got out of my trance and shook my head, "I-I am just shocked.... I-"

He nodded his head, paused and started.

"My mom was seventeen when she got me, her and my dad met at a club and I was born as a drunken mistake." He said and closed his eyes tightly.

It was beating really fast, as if he had run a marathon.

He was afraid of this... He was afraid of the outcome this will bring to our marriage.

But I won't let this effect us, sure it's a big secret and Iam shocked as Layla and Elijah never showed any favoritism and they actually are like a family, but I'll never let it come between us.

I lowered my head caressing his cheek and whispered, "Then what love?"

He smiled but it was a forced one as if he didn't want to but it still made it's way to his face.

"My mom married Elijah and they had Aria, when I was 5. My dad didn't care as he only ever wanted me. Elijah was really affectionate and told my mom that he will think of me as his own. When I was 17, my dad fell ill and started forgetting things like where he was? Or where he kept his glasses? Or did he take his medicines or not.... First we thought of this as normal as it happens to everyone, but we missed the major red flags."

He had a tear rolling down his cheek and I hurriedly kissed it away. I hate when he cries, it pains me to see such a strong man like Kezr cry, the one who makes my life easier, who makes me laugh, smile, and makes my days better, who gives me a reason to live for.

"Don't cry baby, it's okay, Iam here." I cooed and played with his hair.

He shook his head, eyes closed tightly, "It's not okay.... It's never okay, when my dad died I was in a bad place, I had suicidal thoughts, I got lonely, I lost not only my father, but my best friend, all my friend's fathers were either away, cheating, or too busy for them, but that was not the case for me. My father loved me and I love him too. I got therapists and they told me it will be okay...but it doesn't get okay....you just get immune to the pain. It's just-It gets h-hard when you loose someone you're too used to.... Its hard when you l-lose someone you love."