Camp Closeted novel Chapter 53

Me, Sascha, and Rama stayed in the library with complete dead silence. We didn't know what to do to help us process what just happened and I don't think we ever will.

Romeo just casually kept rocking his head to the music he was listening to and it made my blood boil. Was he that heartless to the point of not willing to care for something so serious?

I quickly averted my eyes away from Romeo before my anger only gets fueled more and empowers me to break a chair behind his back.

Sascha didn't bother loosening his grip around Rama's tan muscular arm as he was quietly whimpering. Every time I heard him whimper, it didn't fail to rip a piece off my heart.

"T-there's no way he's dead." I blurted out, my voice slightly cracky as their eyes slowly landed on me. "He can't be. He just can't."

Rama sniffed as he deeply breathed, Sascha's large brown eyes filled with such broken emotions. "I don't know man, taking 4 Xanax pills is a lot."

Just before anyone could've talked, the sound of Romeo's smug chuckle emitted around the library, causing us to sharply glare at him in strong disgust.

"Are you seriously laughing right now?" I spoke slow, my voice magnifying great fury as Romeo leaned back against his chair, amused.

Romeo carelessly rolled his hazel eyes as he threw his head back out in annoyance. "4 Xanax pills? That's it?" He let out loudly. "You guys are fucking stupid, he's not dead. He's probably just in a deep sleep."

I quickly thrashed my body up, my fists clenching as I ran towards him. Romeo's narrowed eyes followed me darting towards him as my fist rapidly swung towards his smirking face. "Fuck you!" I screamed, his hand effortlessly stopping me from punching him.

"How are you so weak?" Romeo raised an eyebrow at me as it only made me angrier.

Just before I could've tried swinging again, Romeo quickly looked behind me, Sascha's fragile voice appearing, making my face quickly soften. "Do you really think so?" He croaked out.

Sascha's pale lips we're subtly quivering together as tears bunched up in his reddened eyes. Romeo taking a closer look at how broken Sascha genuinely looked visibly caught him off guard, almost embarrassing him for some reason. "Y-yea." Romeo stuttered as he stared back at Sascha with widened eyes.

"Sascha we should go." Rama, whom was a distance away from Sascha quietly started to speak. "We'll drive to the hospital and see how Cade is doing, come on."

Sascha ignored Rama for only a second, still looking at Romeo. "I don't really know you, but I just wanna say that I'm not stupid." He sniffed, his voice sounding like it could break anytime now. "When you love someone, seeing them even get a small cut can even mean such a big deal because you don't ever want them to get hurt. You probably don't understand it but caring a lot is not stupid." He bit his lip, slowly beginning to walk away with Rama. "It just opens up a different part of your humanity."

I glanced back at Romeo as his face was now clear from any facial expression, Rama and Sascha proceeding to quietly leave the library.

Silence struck throughout the whole room as I glared at him now. "You're a terrible person Romeo." I shook my head as I went back to sit at the table, deeply sighing as I didn't know if I was even in the mood to continue working again.

Romeo slowly put his head down, his deep voice responding back. "It's not my fault that you guys made a big deal out of nothing. It doesn't matter if he loves him or not, the guy is a druggie. If anything, he deserves to die for being so careless, but he won't."

"You just don't get it." I slightly squinted my eyes at the bright light coming from my laptop, darkness slowly looming over the library. "You're nothing but a cold, selfish, asshole. I know you know how to care but you choose not to." I began to type.

I didn't bother looking at Romeo as I figured he wouldn't just give in. "What the fuck even is the point in caring about someone else?" I thought he was just trying to be rude, but he genuinely sounded like he was asking a question, which made me realize how kind of sad that is.

Has this boy ever seen an episode of Care Bears? "Romeo." I breathed out audibly stressed. "Caring about other people is important and I know you know this. Without care, the world would just be filled with terrible people. Doesn't someone care about you?" I asked.

"No." He dryly responded.

I just tiredly looked at him. "How about your dad?"

"Hell no." He shrugged, annoyingly repeating himself.

I just rolled my eyes. "I'm pretty sure he does Romeo. Even if he doesn't fully understand you for you, there has to be at least an ounce of care there."

"He doesn't. I know he doesn't." He quickly spoke, volume starting to grow. "He already said if I come home from this place still gay then he'd disown me or send me back to Russia to get killed or some shit."

My face unconsciously crinkled. "He said that?" Romeo remained quiet, indicating that responding yes would probably want unwanted emotions to come up for him. "Why Russia?" I asked.

"Cuz Russia is homophobic and people there would be down to kill anyone that's gay." Romeo explained, my mouth slightly dropping.

I didn't move and instead just began to wonder how gay people are surviving in Russia. "Would they?" I asked.

"Yea." He softly replied, our eyes now meeting.

"W-well I doubt your dad would let that happen to you." I breathed, making him tightly clench his jaw at me in sudden anger.

"How the fuck would you know?" He exclaimed loudly, making me slightly tense back. "How can you doubt someone's actions if you never even met him? Are you that dumb? Just because you felt care all your life doesn't mean everybody has. God I feel so fucking stupid when I talk to you!" His voice slightly stabbed me, making me just remain quiet to myself as I kept looking at him.

The dark orange sunset coming from the windows casted shadows on his pale cheeks and defined his sharp jawline even further. His curly brown hair looked like a soft caramel cloud and it slightly covered his hazel eyes that were fiercely burning at me, blending well together with the sun.

Romeo looked like he had his own captivatingly attractive sunset, right on his chiseled face and I didn't know how to feel about it.

Romeo began to slightly look at me weird so I quickly looked away from my creepy gaze. "Well, I don't really know what to say other than I'm pretty sure there's people out there that care for you." I sighed. "Maybe you just choose not to notice it." I tried to sound hopeful as I spoke softly.

His face was fully furrowed down now as if what I just said completely angered him. "Maybe, maybe you're just fucking stupid! If there were people who cared for me don't you think I'd choose to notice it? If there were people who cared for me I wouldn't be here sitting with a dumb fuck like you, arguing about it! Who the fuck chooses not to notice care!?" He screamed out, my shoulders visibly tenser again because of his raised growl.

Could Jesse be too good for me?

A wild thought, maybe, I don't know. What if Jesse deserves to date someone better? My growing self doubt quickly took over me as I just put my phone down, stopping myself from texting Jesse back.

I figured I better get back to the cabin before the sun sets and the night takes over. Walking in the dark while carrying so many things won't be fun at all and I wasn't about to deal with that.

Romeo glanced at my sudden movement as I just deeply sighed, countless thoughts racing through my head. "A-are you hungry?" He deeply asked, slightly hesitant in tone, rapidly making my whole body freeze from any further action.

"Yea." I breathed out, blinking my slight shock away. "I was just about to leave and eat right now." My tone was intentionally cold as I responded.

"Well I-" Romeo's eyes shuffled out of nowhere as he gnawed on his lip. "I can take you."

"No thanks." I quickly added, making his eyelids slightly fall. "You know, thank you." I threw him a small smile.

"For?" He breathed.

"For dealing with my bullshit." I shrugged. "I know you hate me, and if it helps you feel better, you'll never see me again. I'm glad I helped you realize who you truly are. I'm also glad I helped you realize what guys you aren't into. Hopefully if you do find a significant other willing to deal with you, I wish your life complete happiness." I nodded, proceeding to walk out the door.

Romeo's mouth slightly opened as his hands slowly took his earbuds off his ears. "Goodbye Romeo." And with that, I was out the library.

No, Jesse isn't too good for me and I shouldn't even doubt myself. I deserve him and he deserves me. We deserve each other.

We deserve love..

My feet were incredibly fast as I stepped out the library and out to the halls. I didn't get to see Romeo's reaction to me declining his fake request as I honestly didn't care anymore. The only thing I wanted to do now was just go home and go out on a date with Jesse.

The second my body exited out the halls and finally was outdoors, I just took a deep breath of the crisp air. Cadence's situation today was insanely crazy and to know he was fine eased me quite a bit.

As I tried to begin walking back to my cabin to go back and just tell Jesse my true feelings, a pair of strong hands forcefully gripped onto both of my shoulders, turning me around.

Before I knew it, here I was, standing tensely with my dilated ocean blue eyes, widened at a pair of familiarly light brown ones.

Our unbreakable eye contact made an island of heated emotions as I was the deep blue ocean to his vast sandy land.

Just like puzzle pieces that has been kept unsolved for way too long, Romeo's plump reddened lips were now merged with mine, once again.