Don’t Cry Baby novel Chapter 4

He stands on my porch , arms folded across his chest, the veins on his forehead pulsing furiously. His blue eyes darken as he looks at me, pupils growing in size. His hair is disheveled he must have been running his hands through it a lot, he does this when he is extremely angry. His shirt is wrinkled and ripped as if he found it in the bottom of his hamper and just threw it on. He looks so angry, angry and tired. He glares at me, his eyes red with rage.

I hesitate before walking towards him, i am standing on lower ground forcing him to look down at me. this makes me feel like a child being scolded by their parent. I should be scolded this time, i deserve whatever he has planned for me. This time I am in the wrong. It will certainly crush him when he finds out how I was feeling only moments ago with someone else. How my lips are chapped and raw from kissing another man. I can still feel his arms wrapped around me, the smell of Damien lingering in my nose. I shiver and wrap my hands around myself while looking down at my feet.

"Ashley, are you going to answer me or not?" More tears break freely from my green eyes as I here the severity of his anger in his voice. I pull my lip in between my teeth and bite down hard enough to rip through the skin.

"I..I was with Damien." I say it barely above a whisper, without even looking up as I spoke the words that felt like acid in my throat. My lip quivers, my body once again sends shivers down my spine in nervous anticipation of what is surely to come. I hear him walk towards me, my breath catches in my throat and I force myself to keep my eyes planted firmly at my feet. His rough hands grab my chin and pull my face up so that my eyes meet his. I flinch away from him wishing that I was still safely in the comfort of Damien's arms. I loathe myself for wishing this. tears blur my vision and my now bleeding lip begins to quiver.

"What did you say bitch!" He snaps at me and the tone of his voice makes me jump. His eyes wide and bloodshot with rage. His grips my chin once more causing me to whimper. He doesn't even sound like himself anymore. i try to back away and he moves his hand to grip the back of my neck. His vice like grip keeps me from moving even an inch away from him.

"i was with Damien again...something happened." His eyes widen even more, if that is even possible, he pulls me back my neck towards the door of the house and forcibly pushes me inside. Once inside he kicks the door shut , as the door slams he throws me to the ground in front of him. My knees slam hard against the wooden floor, I remain there on my knees looking at the ground. I feel so much shame, I don't even want to look at Ty.

"You little whore, what did you do, fuck him?" his voice is growing louder every time he speaks. He kicks me hard in the side causing me to scream. I crawl away as fast as I can while trying to hold my side. The pain is unbearable. I sob and plead him to stop.

"No Ty, we didn't do that. He kissed me, it was nothing." I speak with agony evident in my voice as tears continue to stream down my face. My throat tightens and I feel like I can't breathe. I continue to crawl away as far away form him as I can. he growls animalistically as I try to escape. I get as far as the kitchen behind the island. I lean back resting my back against the island and close my eyes. I try to slow my heart rate so that I can breathe normally again. I hear his footsteps and my whole body clenches waiting for him to make his next move.

"You deserve this Ashley, you deserve everything I am about to do to you." he rounds the corner and steps into the kitchen looking down at me. He grins but, this time the grin has no boyish charm left in it. It is completely full of malice and fury. Feeling no ounce of dignity left, I crawl to him , stopping at his feet while looking up.

"baby, I know I messed up this time but please stop I am so sorry. Don't hurt me..please" I grab hold of his leg, he shakes his head and kicks me off.

"Don't touch me after touching him." I back away from him but he manages to kick me hard in the stomach. I fall back and slide into the island hitting my head hard enough my vision blurs , I can make out his lips moving but my ears are ringing so bad I can't hear what he is saying. My eyes feel heavy as I watch him come towards me. I let them fall, I let sleep take over. Anything is better then watching him kill me.

I wake up in a hospital, I am not sure how long it has been. I scan the room with my eyes unable to move as pain shoots through my body every time I try.

"Oh good, you're awake." I hear his voice and a chill instantly goes up my spine I turn and look at him, the man that put me in this hospital bed. I resist the urge to press the call button and have a nurse take him out. I feel tears threatening to fall, they burn my eyes and I clench them shut to keep them from falling. His hand reaches out and brushes a hair behind my ear. I flinch as he does this, just as I am about to ask this man why he is here , a doctor comes in.

"Hey Ashley, I'm glad you're finally awake. Your boyfriend here brought you in and hasn't left your side. He says you had a pretty nasty fall down the stairs. Your injuries seem consistent with a fall. I would just like to confirm this with you, is there anything you remember that might have been left out at all. Did you slip on anything on top of the stairs maybe?" I look over at Ty and I see the look in his eyes, the look that says I better keep up with his lie. I begin to nod nervously and try to form a smile for the doctor.

"Yes, I fell down the stairs, I should probably be more careful." Ty let's out a chuckle and the doctor smiles. He seems young to be a doctor which leads me to believe he's most likely a med student. He seems like the kind of guy who was popular in school just by the way he walks around. Head held high; shoulders pushed back as he stands tall. I guess that could also be because he's a fricken doctor.

Once the doc leaves, after telling me I have to stay in the hospital a few days to monitor my concussion, Ty grabs my hand and I turn to look at him.

" I felt so bad leaving you there baby doll, not my finest moment I am so sorry. I never should have done any of that even if you kissed someone else. We should have talked about it together. I fucked up; I am a terrible boyfriend." I squeeze his hand and then let go. I look into the palms of my hands tracing the lines and creases with my eyes.

He lets out an impatient sigh and then begins to breathe slowly. I silently hear him counting under his breath, something his therapist used to tell him to do if he was frustrated by one of his triggers. I look over and see just how tired he looks. Bloodshot eyes, disheveled hair, dark circles under the beautiful blues. I reach out and brush my thumb across the darkened circle, he shudders and closes his eyes grabbing my handing and holding it on his cheek.

"I'm so sorry, I need to try harder Ashley. I will try harder." A tear falls freely down his face and my heart aches. I pull him in and hug him close.

I know it's stupid, I know he probably doesn't deserve my forgiveness but he's been my best friend and the love of my life for so long I couldn't even imagine it any other way at this point. We can fix him, and we can fix us together. He holds me tight but not too tight, so he doesn't hurt my bruises.

"I was so scared when you weren't waking up, you've been in the hospital for almost a day." I stare at him eyes wide.

"Wait oh my god, have you called my parents?" He nods and grabs hold of me again.

"It's fine I called them don't worry." He climbs into the hospital bed with me and kisses my forehead.

**

I lay alone in my bedroom after getting home from the hospital. I can hear my parents moving around in the kitchen cooking supper. They were not pleased that I had Ty over when they were gone, and they were less impressed that I wound up in the hospital on top of it all.

I stare blankly at my violet wall. The darkness doing weird this with my eyes. Swirls dance around my vision and I close them. The doctor said I could go back to school tomorrow which will be a lot better then sitting at home in this room staring at this wall for hours. I'm just not excited to see Damien again. He hasn't talked to me since I walked out in him.

I feel my eyes slowly begin to drift closed as the pain medication takes over, as I drift off a pair of amber eyes are the only thing I can see.

**

I walk in the halls of the school. White walls, cream floor and posters everywhere. I look down at my converse hitting the ground as I walk. Biting my lip each step I go, hoping I don't run into Damien. Of course, most of my classes are with him. I walk inside the English room with Mr.Jekyll and notice two thinks. 1.Damien is not in his usual seat. 2. He's staring at me as I walk in from the back of the room. When he notices I'm looking back he looks down and slides lower into his seat. I grimace and walk straight towards my seat on the right by the window. Mr.Jekyll smiles at me as I take my seat and I sheepishly smile back. He leans against his big mahogany desk covered in papers and books staring out towards the class with his arms crossed. Being a grade 11 teacher is probably a lot to deal with. If I was gonna be a teacher I would pick a younger class. He runs a hand through his balding hair and turns around ready to get started on today's lesson.

"So class we're gonna start our book study this class. This year we're reading "To Kill A Mockingbird." I grin excitedly, this is my favorite part of English, studying a beautiful piece of literature like this book, it will be so fun. Mr.Jekyll walks around passing out old tattered copies of "To Kill A Mockingbird".

"Now who knows what the book is about? And don't say a Mockingbird." Mr.Jekyll rolls his eyes with a grin. I raise my hand hopefully I get called on.

"Damien?" Damnit, I slump down in my uncomfortably hard orange chair.

"It's about acceptance , or lack there of."

"Very good Damien you're on the right track." Damn that was a really good answer. Mr.Jekyll continues to talk about due dates and what chapters we have to read tonight. I don't pay much attention at all. I'll have this book finished way faster then the deadline. It's another book I've read more then once and loved every time.

I love how the writer chose to write it in a child's point of view so that the knowledge wasn't as broad, and she could touch on a bunch of different elements.

"Miss.Walters." I look up blushing a deep crimson as I see all eyes on me including Mr.Jekyll.

"Uh..yes Mr.Jekyll."