Hatred With Benefits novel Chapter 85

EMERSON.

"Why did you ask me to come home?" I ask Elias the minute I walk inside the house and he turns around to meet me with a smile, "You're here. "

"That doesn't exactly answer my question. " I tell him and he chuckles before he gestures to the seat across from him. With a sigh, I walk to the seat and drop to it, keeping my eyes on him.

"There's someone who wants to talk to you. " He informs me, and when I lift my brows in silent questioning, he angles his head to a direction and I twist my head to see Dad approaching us.

"Him?" I mouth when I drop my gaze back to Elias and he blinks once as a form of assurance before he grabs the laptop in front of him when Dad stops at the table.

"I'll leave you two. " Elias says, throwing me a wink before he moves out of the room, and I watch him disappear through the corner before I shift my gaze back to the man who takes his seat across from me.

I don't say a word and neither does he as he lifts his hand to the table. I begin to tap my feet against the floor with my fingers drumming against my other thigh before he finally breaks the silence.

"Did it hurt?" He questions and I raise a confused brow, "Uh?"

"When I blamed you for your mother's death. Did it hurt?" He explains, and I take a swallow at those words, the movement of my leg and hand immediately stopping before I say. "Why are you suddenly asking me that?"

"I just want to know. "He responds and I look down to my thigh as I speak. "Didn't you say it so I could hurt?"

"Did you believe them to be true?" He questions further and I say, "I did. For a very long time I did, but then some people kept telling me it was destined to happen, and although at times I wish it wasn't destined that way; I believed those people's words. "

"That's better. Believing them would have done no good. " He mumbles, and I furrow my brows, wondering where he's going with all these, and why he's suddenly interested in talking about them to me.

"When I told you to leave Matt's daughter; did it hurt?" He asks another, lifting his head to meet my eyes and I look away from him as I mumble, "It did hurt. "

"Hurt enough to make you hate me?" He surprises me by asking and I drop my gaze back to him before I hum, "That enough. "

"You love her that much?" He raises a brow and I shake my head, a smile crossing my lips at the thought of Eva. "I love her that much. "

"Yet you listened to me and left her?" He asks and I shake my head once again. "I didn't leave Eva because you wanted me to. I left her because I thought I had to. "

"Do you consider yourself without a father?" He inquires, changing the topic once again and I lean back in my seat at that question, my breathing coming out heavy as I stare at the man in front of me, who doesn't blink as he awaits my answer.

"Do you think yourself lesser of one son?" I retort and he chuckles lightly, "I did. I've always. Since that incident, you were no longer my son. "

I lace my fingers through each other and drop my head to keep myself together. I know that, and I've known that for years, but somehow, he manages to make it hurt just as much every single time he reminds me of that one truth.

"That answers your question. " I mutter without raising my head, and there is a pass of a heartbeat before his voice comes again. "But I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have treated you like that. "

I lift my gaze. "What?"

He smiles. For the very first time in years, my father smiles at me. And it's not one of those smiles where I know there's something terrible that awaits me behind it, it's one of those calm smiles that makes me feel a bit lighter. It's warm and it's genuine.

"Do you want to know something interesting?" He asks and I nod, unable to give a word and he proceeds to say, "Jane loved you so much. " I swallow at the mention of my mother; the very first time I'll be hearing her name from him ever since she died.

"On every trip, she'd always talk about you and how much you reminded her of so many good things about her younger self. I used to think you were her most favoured kid, " he chuckles then takes a pause before he continues again, "Your mother might have been too busy to be around you all the time, but she always had you in her heart. I'm sure she still does. "

"Why are you telling me all these?"

"Because I finally realized what a horrible father I've been. I do love your mother, Emerson. I loved her so much. More than I can even begin to explain, and I still do. My love for her made me blame you for so long, so long till I didn't realize what I was doing was wrong. Till I didn't realize I was hurting you. I should have been there for you after she died, but instead, I kept you away and I'm sorry for that, Emerson. "

My eyes widen just barely at his last words. Sorry? Is Mason Ford, the man who sits in front of me, my father, saying sorry to me?

"Why?" I mutter, my voice coming out low and I clear my throat for a louder one. "Why are you saying all these now?"

"Because someone told me it's never too late to start. "

"Start?" I repeat and he nods. "To try and keep you close, instead of pushing you away. "

I don't say a word after that. I'm too surprised to say anything. Where are all these coming from? Why the sudden change of heart? Are you getting played, Emerson? This feels too good to be true.

"I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you, Emerson. " His voice pulls me out of my thoughts, reminding me that he's still sitting across from me with his eyes on me and speaking to me. "You never deserved any of those, and I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. "

"Dad—" I call out, but no words follow and he smiles as he speaks again, "Matt and I talked. He beat me to it before I could make a decision. "

"What did you talk about?" I ask him and he sighs, just staring at me for a while before he finally opens his mouth. "That you and his daughter deserve the happiness you give each other. " Dad's words once again amaze me, as if I don't have a hard time believing the previous ones.

"What?" The word falls from my mouth before I can control it, and utter shock laces through it at the thought of my dad and Matt Carson talking.

"I made my decision when you came to me that night. I was going to let you have the one thing you got to keep. "

"Why didn't you say that?"

"Maybe I was looking to see how far you would truly go, or maybe I just wanted to hold back a bit. Matt, however, made that decision quicker when he was willing to leave everything for his daughter's happiness. " He smiles, as if he's living through that moment in his head again, and I say, "He was going to leave the company?"

"Without a doubt. "

"Why didn't you take it?" I ask him and he lifts a shoulder, "I got bored of being the bad guy in this story. A little good doesn't seem to hurt. " And that's it? They both managed to get on the same page? But at the cost of what? The only thing that ever truly mattered to the both of us.

"Emerson?" He calls my name and I meet his eyes. "I almost lost her. "

"What?" He mumbles and I say, "Eva. I almost lost her. She was this close to throwing everything away. Why did it have to come to that? Why did it have to happen? What if we had truly lost?"

"Because some battles, you don't win without a fight. And when you manage to make it through despite how tough the fight was, that's when you know it's all worth it. I'm sorry that we made you almost lose each other, but you should know now that her father and I are no longer a problem. "

When I don't say a word, he moves from his seat and my eyes follow as he strides closer to me. He stays by my side, seeming to be having an inner battle before he finally lifts his hand and drops it on my shoulder. My eyes go to the touch before it moves to his face and he welcomes me with a smile, "I'm sorry. "

"And if I say I don't forgive you?" I lift a brow and he drops his hand. "It's alright to feel that way. I don't forgive myself that easily either, but I'm willing to earn it. "

"What if I don't ever want to forgive you? What if you snatched too much than I was willing to give, and there's no fixing how things are between us?" I ask and his voice is soft as he answers, "I'll never stop trying. It's all about the effort, isn't it?"

"Have you always been like this?" I narrow my eyes and he looks confused for a moment before realization dawns on him and he says, "There are a lot of things we don't know about each other, isn't there? We can start by learning those. "

Silence swims around us and I don't take my eyes off him until he makes the sound of a gasp as he looks down at his wrist. "I have an appointment. I need to leave now. "

I hum in response and he slaps my shoulder, giving me another warm smile before he begins to make his way out of the room, and just before his frame disappears completely, I call out his name.

He turns back to me with lifted brows and I say, "It was nice to hear you speak of her. "