Hatred With Benefits novel Chapter 86

EVA.

"Hey, you're here. " I smile at Aliya as I open the door wide for her and she strides inside my room, while I close the door, taking in several breathes for the conversation that awaits the both of us.

When I turn back, Aliya is standing in the middle of the room, waiting for me and I pace closer to her side.

"How are you?" She asks and I motion for her to move to the bed. She nods and climbs on, taking her seat by the edge while I throw a leg across the other at the center.

"Did I stress you? You returned to school, didn't you?" I ask and she says, "I did. And no, you didn't stress me. I was happy to receive your call. "

"You were?" I lift a brow and she nods, "I was waiting for you, Eva. "

"Were you? Then why didn't you call me? Or text even?" I question and she responds with, "That's because I wasn't sure if you wanted me to. Anytime I try to reach out whenever we fight, you don't respond until you're ready. "

"I'd have appreciated it though. " I lift a shoulder and she smiles, "I know. " Then her face turns serious as her smile fades. "I'm sorry, Eva. For what I said that day. "

I let out a sigh as I stare down at my legs. "Why are you sorry? You were right. "

"No, I wasn't, " she opposes. "I did what I did because I wanted to; not because I felt like I needed to, and I shouldn't have said it like that. "

"I shouldn't have gotten angry over the letter. I was just— I let my emotions get the better of me. " I say as I lift my gaze to her and she smiles, "I understand you. "

"You do?" I say and she nods. "I do. You were stressed, and you had things going on with Emerson. "

"I don't think that justifies the way I acted, though. That's no excuse for it, and I'm sorry. "

"If you keep saying sorry, then you'll make me feel even worse about myself. " She pouts and I chuckle. She follows through, before she stops and says, "How are things between the two of you? Better?"

"You could say that. " I mutter and when she arches her brow, I continue to answer her unasked question, "We're not exactly together, but we're not exactly apart either. We're in the middle, sort of?"

"Is that your decision, or his?"

"Mine. " I mumble with a swallow and when I feel Aliya's touch on my legs, I raise my head to her again, "Do you want that to change?"

"I don't know. " I confess. "I'm scared of getting hurt again, but I also want him. "

"Well, as far as I know; where there's love, there'll always be pain. " She says with a straight face and when I turn my head to the side, narrowing my eyes at her; she breaks into a laugh.

I'm unable to contain my laugh either. "You're quoting me, Aliya Collins?"

"I might have managed to pick a line or two from your book of love. " She teases, and I smile at the excitement on her face before I lift my hand to cover hers on my leg. "Are you okay?"

"Of course, I am. More glad that I'm here. " She answers and I shake my head, "I don't mean that. I meant Sage. You get to see her every day now. "

She nods. "I do, but surprisingly, I'm more okay than I was before it happened. It's like I don't have to feel much guilty for doing that to her now that she's moved on. Trust me, I'm fine. "

"I'm glad to hear that. " I tell her and she hums. When she remains silent, I shuffle closer to her, and pinch her side. "Come on, bitch. Where's my Aliya? This one is well too mannered for my preference. "

"I thought you'd prefer this one. " She proclaims and I shake my head, "No, I want my loud and annoying best friend. "

"That bitch never left. " She winks and I laugh before I move into her open arms, and let her wrap her arms around me.

"I've missed you, Evie. " She says, her voice muffled against me and I smile as I stroke her back, "I know. And I've missed you just as much. "

When she pulls back, she says, "I've been taking notes. For you, and you better have a reward for me because that shit is exhausting. "

"Shouldn't you be doing that for you?" I raise a brow and she frowns, "When have I ever done that?"

"I'm honestly looking forward to seeing you graduate. " I tease her and she shows me her middle finger with a tiny smirk playing on her lips.

"Oh, and I brought you something. " She announces and I move my head in curiosity as I watch her fiddle with the small purse by her waist before she brings out a paper– one that I recognize at first glance.

"You still have it?" I say as she lifts it between us and she nods, "Of course, I still do. It's yours and I have no right to dispose it. Besides, I thought it might come in handy. "

When I take the paper from her, she says, "I know how you feel at the moment, babe but I want to believe Emerson loves you, and deserve another chance to show you why you chose him in the first place. I don't know what that holds, but I'm hoping it'll fix a thing or two between the two of you, and help you with your decision. "

"He left because he thought he needed to protect me, and our relationship. " I tell her and she slides a hand around my waist. When my head falls against her shoulder, I proceed to say, "And it's no doubt that's the explanation this note holds. "

"Will you read it?" She asks and when I nod, she moves away from me and climbs off the bed.

I raise my brows at her, "What are you doing?"

"I just thought you might need some privacy reading that. You deserve it. " She smiles, pressing a hand to my cheek before she strolls out of the room and when her frame disappears, I return my gaze to the paper I have in hand. The one I never got to finish.

I open the note and his handwriting glares back at me as my eyes run over the words.

'Eva. Firstly, I want you to know that I didn't want to do this. I truly didn't want to do to us, baby. Not to you, but I had no other choice: I don't want to lose you, but I also don't want you to lose everything else that you have. My dad knows about you and I, and he's everything but accepting of it. I know, baby: you don't care if they are against our relationship, as long as we have each other and I honestly don't care either. I don't care if I have to lose everything else just to keep you, but then I realized I can't be that selfish. I don't know to what heights Mason would go just to keep us apart, but I know you'll lose more than just your relationship with your parents if I let him do that to us and I can't. I adore the relationship you have with your parents and I don't want you to ever lose that. I know you said you don't care, but I don't want to be the one to take that away from you, and that's why I have to leave. I want to be with you without causing any other chaos in your life, Eva. I want to be with you without having to worry about those that'll do anything to break us apart. I want to be with you without having to wonder what trouble will come our way today or tomorrow, and cause us to drift apart against our will. I deserve to be with you in that way. We deserve that much after everything, and that's why you'll have to be strong without me by your side for a while. I'm leaving for New York to my brother, and in all honesty, I have no idea what awaits me there but if there's anyone who always finds a way to make everything right then it's my brother. So, I want you to see this as me sacrificing time apart from you now so we won't have to do that for a longer time that awaits us. See this as me trying to change the outcome of what's bound to happen, and I'll be back there with you and then; it'll all be worth it because we'll be in each other's arms again. And you probably think this coward of me, but I would never be able to do this if I had to look into your eyes, or hear your voice.

... I love you, baby. Never forget that. Yours, Always and forever. '

I don't realize my eyes are full of tears until the paper is almost soaked with the drops and I sniff.

"Emerson. " I call out his name as my eyes remain glued to the paper. Even after knowing everything, even after he explained his reasons; this doesn't fail to make my heart hurt.

I toss the paper to the side and dab the back of my palm on my cheek to wipe my tears before I grab my phone, and one glance at the screen is all it takes me to remember I have plans with Emerson today.

I'm quick to move out of bed, and I stride to my closet, picking out a short dress. After cladding myself in it, I fix my hair and place my bag across my shoulder. I pause at my bed at the sight of the paper, and I move it between the pages of my book before I grab my phone and walk out of my room.

When I reach the living room, mom is speaking to Aliya while dad stands next to them with a smile on their face.

Dad is the first to sight me. "Princess. "

Then mom and Aliya raise their heads, their eyes roaming down my body.

I look down at myself before I raise my eyes to them, "Um. I have to—"

"We know. He has been waiting outside for a long time. " Mom interrupts me with a smile and I furrow my brows in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"You have to be somewhere with Emerson, don't you? He's been waiting outside for hours. An hour Delilah?" Dad asks Mom and she confirms by saying, "Almost two. "

"You know I'm leaving to somewhere with Emerson? Emerson Ford?" I say the words for clarification, and when they both nod with smiles on their faces, I look back to Aliya who raises her shoulders in cluelessness.

"What's wrong with you?" I ask dad as I return my gaze to him. "You know Emerson Ford is waiting outside for me, and you haven't lost it yet?"

Dad laughs as he moves away from mom to walk toward me. When he reaches me, he grabs my hands as he speaks, "Yes, we know, Princess. We're in full support of your relationship. "