Lie To Me Alpha novel Chapter 100

I cry rubbing my arms not knowing where I am right now. I don't even know what is going to happen to me.

Everything in my life was a lie, his love was a lie, my life is nothing but a lie and I can't even breathe anymore.

Every steps I take suffocates me. I badly wanted to breathe but everything is taking all of my energy. I sat under a tree trying to warm myself with eyes darting around me for any light to guide or even a soul to help me.

Gradually piece by piece I am losing all of me. Actually no I am already lost and alone with no one to turn to not even my grandma.

No definitely not her as I just don't want to give her a heart attack now.

I hear leaves twixt and I turn to find Matteo and I shut my eyes refusing to look at him. I thought I already set things with him and others yet he still followed me.

"Addasah" I close my ears with my hands refusing to listen to his voice.

Shaking my head no I refuse to listen or see him as my tears drops from my eyes.

I felt hands on my hands holding me in place and I cry out loud like a child in front of him.

I fell into his chest sobbing out then pushing him away. I ended up punching him but he never fell down as his hold tighten around me.

The both of us now crying together in the middle of the woods. I didn't care what he thinks anymore but I just let every barriers and emotions I have been bottle up let go again.

He pull me back while I am still crying "shhhh" he tried to wipe them off but they just kept flowing from eyes nonstop.

"I" sob "love you" sob "that it's hurt so much" I sob between my words.2

Pushing away from him I stood up and shout at him with my tears never failing to stop

"Why? Why Matteo? Why not tell me now that all you do was for revenge and using me" I pointed to myself with anger.

"Would you believe me if I tell you everything?"

"I don't know Matteo, I have been giving you hints to tell me the truth through the past days but you never did... You lie to me.. Our love was base on a lie... Maybe my dad has ask you to hid it from me but somehow you should have told me. I mean it's been months now and yet you never did."1

I took deep breaths and there was silence between the two of us "yet by all means please I need to know, why did you hurt me like this?" I beg him through my tears.

"I will tell you and I know you already know some part of it but let me tell you my side of story."

I could feel his emotions and the pain through his eyes "but after I tell mine please do what I tell you do because I know it's what you needed. But please remember that I have and will always and achingly love you my Addasah."

He stood there for minutes not saying anything before he shook his head and repeated my question

"why?"

He took another two steps closer to me "I fell in love and was selfish to let you go." he began to explain everything to me.

"When we first met I thought I was in love with Quinn and I did selfish choices that even now I'm not so proud of.2

But know that the first time I said I love words to you at the park I meant but it just that I was afraid to admit it not until later on I realised that my words and feelings were not wrong. "

I try to control my tears but I just couldn't stop them as I listen in to him.

"The promises I made to you. I truly meant it. Four years I did waited for you to come back but nothing goes in my way. You see my father doesn't want us together and he did everything in his power to keep us apart," he cried

"I was force to mate Quinn if not your parents died. So I did what I thought was right because I couldn't let you hate me forever if your parents died that night."1

His eyes close and suddenly his hands withdrawn from mine then clenched them tightly showing his white knuckles. I could see that he is fighting his own battle whether to let me go or not.

So this is what he meant before he is going to let me go without fighting anymore. I guess maybe this is best for the both of us now.

It's actually what I wanted now and I thank him silently for doing this even though I could see the pain and hurt in his eyes.

I didn't even want him to fight for us now and I'm greatful for that because I can't take this pain and pretend everything will be alright now.

His tears slip out of his close eyes "please go" his voice broke "please" he sobs and I took slower steps back taking in all of him, picturing him in my mind.

I want to imprint him in my head one last time. I want to hold on to my memories of him, the mate that I will never have.

Each steps I takes becomes harder and harder. I couldn't even restraint myself from staying here with him with a last bit of my courage I turn around and started to run.

I heard him broke down there crying out but never utter my name and I know why he wouldn't scream it. He didn't want me to turn back and it broke my heart to hear his cries.

I run fast before I slow myself down and broke into more tears.

My hand went to my mouth trying to suppress it but I couldn't.

I fall on my knees crying out into the cold night.

I hear his howls and I sob even more beating on my heart.

This is us, there was no more us anymore.

The whole perfect loving mates as of tonight and for the rest of our lives it's just going to be pieces of us.