Life After the Storm novel Chapter 71

It has been busy, and Lily still has not woken up. I'm starting to get concerned, even though my mother is telling me that her body needs rest and once she is fully rested, she will wake up. I feel that all of this is my fault, sometimes I wish that we had never met. Wondering if all this pain that I cost her would have never happened.

I know that I have so much that I need to make up to her. I'm not even sure if she's going to allow me to even be in her life. I can't believe I was so dumb. I am still trying to forgive myself for all that I have done to her. All I want is for her to be OK. I know that we all have a long road in front of us. Figuring out all that we need to do just to be safe.

This place is so hidden, even if they do come look for us here, it's like we are camouflaged, unable to be seen. Sometimes I feel this place makes no sense. It's almost like it's a magical area that all the outside world is just sealed off to it. I worry as I watch mothers playing with their children. I'm afraid that we will only bring them danger. I don't want to be the cause of any more innocent wolves being killed.

I'm uncertain of how to even go about all of this. How to gain our freedom and not be targeted. We are such a rare breed of a wolf that everyone is going to want us. I wish I would have been up front with Lilly in the beginning. I think that maybe we could have dealt with all of this together. Instead, I tricked her and used her, just like everybody else did.

As healers, we are attracted to the broken-hearted. We do what is necessary to make them happy, to make them feel wanted. I almost felt like I used Lilly knowing what I had to do to have her, but fuck, I craved her body so much and felt her unhappiness. Which made me even want to please her even more.