Alpha Nicholas novel Chapter 109

Bonnie

I’d be lying if I’said that hearing those words out of Lottie’s mouth didn’t break my heart and I can both sense and feel that Nick feels the same. There are so many things that I want to say to her right now, but hold back both wanting and feeling that Nick should take the lead here.

He takes a deep breath while keeping his eyes locked with hers. “If that’s the truth, then yes, that’s what I want to hear. We need to get to the bottom of whatever is going on, no matter how hard it may be for you to say or for us to hear.” Nick tries to remain calm, but I can feel his emotions, and they are all over the place. “So, is that the truth?”

She nods her head as she wipes more tears away from her eyes. “Why, sweetheart? Why are you feeling jealous?” She stares at Nick, but I can see it in her eyes. She is struggling to word what she wants to say, but I’m pretty sure that I have it figured out, so I just go with it and blurt it out. “Lottie, am I right in thinking that you’re jealous of your dad having another baby because you’re scared? Are you scared that you won’t be his number one anymore? Scared that a new baby will mean you won’t matter as much or your life won’t be as important to your dad as the new baby?”

The more I talk, the wider her eyes become, convincing me even more that I am in fact right. Nick, however, now turns his attention to me. ” What makes you think that?” I give him a gentle smile and take his hand in mine, resting them both on the table. “Nick, it’s always been you and Lottie. All she has ever known is the two of you. All of your attention has been on her and her only. Whenever she has needed you, you have been there, and it’s been made even easier by the fact that you only had her to focus your attention on.

And now… well, in the space of two months, she has found herself with a stepmom and now a sibling on the way. It’s a lot to take in for us andwe are older. Granted, I’m not much older than her, but still, I knew this could happen. She has had all of this just landed on her lap, and ! can only imagine how much it is to handle.”

I take a deep breath from my word vomit and turn my attention back to Lottie. “If I’m completely off base, then please tell me, darling?” She shakes her head and once again wipes her tears. “I’m sorry.” I can’t handle seeing her in this mess anymore and move from my seat and around the table so that 1 can hug her onty before I even reach her she jumps out of her seat and into my arms. “I’m so sorry, Bon… mom. I didn’t mean.it. I don’t even know why I did it, why I said it.”

“It’s OK, sweetheart. It’s okay to feel like that, I get it. I just wish you had talked to me about it instead. I wouldn’t have judged you, Lottie.” She nods, but before she can say anything, Nick’s voice brings our attention to him. “Lottie, sit back down.” His tone seems off, but I can’t figure out why. “Nick, what’s going on?” He gives me a look, silently asking me to sit too and while I do what he wants I still can’t figure out what’s going on.

“OK, Lottie, how about you now tell us the real reason for this?” I’m sorry, what did he just say? “What do you mean?” She asks him, but while she talks, I quickly realize that she doesn’t seem that surprised at what he asked her. Nowhere near as surprised as me, that’s for sure.

“Don’t do that, sweetheart. Don’t try and pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

I have questions but still, 1 remain quiet while Lottie appears to be thinking over her words before she speaks. “Dad… I… I can’t.” Suddenly her face goes from a look of sadness to completely broken as she works to hold back sobs, and it’s gotten me worried. “You can tell me anything, sweetheart. You know this.”

His tone is calm and gentle as he speaks to his daughter and I feel proud of how he’s acting towards her. I know that he’s still pissed about what she’s said to me, but he’s pushing that all aside and doing what he needs to do as her dad and I love him all the more for it.”Lottie, would you feel better if I were to leave the room?” The words leave my mouth before I can stop them, but I don’t regret them. While we have bonded very well since I came here it’s still nothing compared to the bond that she has with her dad and maybe this conversation is one that they need to have without me. She gives me a strange look that quickly turns into a frown and shakes her head. “No. I want you to stay here. Please stay.” she seems genuine so I give her a smile and nod. “I will always be around. I will always stay unless you tell me different, darling.”

Fuck, how hasn’t I thought of that? Now that he’s said it, it makes perfect sense. I look across at Lottie and the shock on her face would be funny if it was in any other situation. She takes a moment as she swallows hard and takes in a deep breath but finally, she nods confirming his words to be true as fresh tears run down her face. Oh, this poor girl!

“Maybe you do know me better than I think because yeah that is the truth. While I’m a little scared of what sharing you will look like I’m even more terrified of what losing Bonnie and the baby would be like.

“Oh, sweetheart.” I can’t sit still or remain quiet any longer. My heart is breaking for the poor lost side to my sweet sweet girl and I will do anything I can to help her. I stand up and walk around towards Lottie and the moment I’m in front of her she once again dives into my arms.

After a few minutes of just hugging each other 1 pull back from her and look straight into her eyes. I want her to believe me when I tell her what I’m about to do. “Lottie, while I can’t promise that we won’t tose this baby. I pray we don’t but some times fate has other ideas for us.

What i can promise you is that you are never going to loose me.”

“You cant know that. What if for some reason you and my dad decidenot to be mates anymore, it’s rare but it happens.” | look across at Nick praying that he can understand what im trying to telt him and it appears he does as he gives a reasuring smile and nods. “Lottie i promise that i will always be there. I have no plans to leave your dad but even if that did happen for some reason, i promise that i will still always be there for you, always.”