Alpha Nicholas novel Chapter 24

“Hey, son. How is she doing?” My mom’s voice echoes in the small hallway where I’ve been sitting on the world’s most uncomfortable chair for the last 15 minutes. She may have kicked me out of her room but she didn’t say I couldn’t sit outside of it. “She woke up for a little while then asked me to leave so she could get some more sleep hence me sitting here like a lost sheep.” My mom chuckles as she comes to sit beside me but instead pulls the chair around before taking a seat so that she is now facing me and pats my knee. “I like that she told you to leave. It shows a backbone and from what we know so far… well, that girl needs some.” I nod then sigh and I run my hand down my face.

“You know it’s not that simple, Mom.” She gives me a sad look and I know she’s replaying those hated memories. “Don’t go there, Mom.” She shakes her head and I know she’s fighting back tears but she refuses to let me see them. “I’m fine, sweetheart. You know I often think about those 3 weeks and it never gets any easier but then I think about how it could have turned out, how it did for so many, and I’m always grateful that you came back to me. I’ll never forget about what happened, son and neither will you but I had to learn to live with it and so have you and I know for the most part you do but letting what happened stop you from having your mate… Well, it’s something that you will regret, it may not be today or tomorrow, or even next week but it will happen and it’ll be too late for you.”

My head thumps as I take in everything she saying and I know she’s right because the truth is that I’m already struggling with the idea of letting my mate go and that’s before I’ve even done it. I want to keep her but I just don’t know if I can. I don’t want to send her away but keeping her with me feels like an almost impossible task. “Nothing I say will change your mind, will it? I know you want her, it’s obvious but you’re still going to reject her and send her away aren’t you?” I shrug because at this point I don’t even know how to try and answer her.

“Why don’t you go and get us some coffee, my love.” We both turn our heads when we hear my dad’s voice as he heads towards us. His eyes fill with love when he looks at my mom and it sends a pang to my heart. She nods then stands up while looking down at me. “Please, just think about what I said, son.” I nod then smile when she kisses my dad on the cheek and head down the hallway, my dad not taking his eyes off her until she disappears out of sight.

I know that I’m going to have a similar conversation with my dad but I just don’t know if I have it in me anymore to keep going over the same thing. “Don’t give me that look, I’m not about to tell you that I think you’re wrong or what you should or shouldn’t do when it comes to your mate.” The shock on my face is clear as he lowly chuckles to himself. “You’re not?” He shakes his head. “No, son I’m not. I don’t see the point. You are going to do what you want regardless so there’s no point in me trying to sway you one way or the other but I do want to talk to you. Now, you can listen or you can choose to ignore me the choice is yours but I’m going to talk anyway.”

“What if I was to give it a chance but I couldn’t let go of what happened? What if I give it a chance and tell her what happened for it to be too much for her and have her walk away? I don’t think I could cope if that happened. What if I go in there and tell her I want her as my Mate but she doesn’t want that? I’ve been a bastard and a coward and I wouldn’t blame her for not wanting me after how I’ve been to her but putting my heart on the line for her to run would kill me.”

“I need to talk to her don’t I?” There’s so much more I want to say but that’s what it comes down to. I can’t just let her go, not before we’ve at least talked about some stuff. “You do, son and it needs to come from your heart.” I know It does and that’s the problem because while my head is still telling me to reject her and send her in her way, my heart is saying to go in there and never let her out of my sight again, and right now, I have no clue what to do.