Daddy Alpha I’m In Heat (Lily and Connor) novel Chapter 60

~Lily~

I was trying to scrub my skin off.

Literally.

Like if I pressed the sponge hard enough into my flesh, I could erase it. The memory. The scent. The way he touched me like I belonged to him. Like I wanted to belong to him. Like I was already his.

I wasn’t crying. Not really. But my eyes were stinging, and the water was way too hot. Hot enough to scald. Hot enough to make my skin red.

Good.

Let it burn.

Let it fucking burn until I stop smelling like him. Until the soreness between my thighs stops throbbing. Until my nipples stop tingling just from remembering the way his teeth sank into them like he wanted to mark me forever. Until I forget the sound of my own voice screaming his name like it was the only word I’d ever known.

Alex.

I screamed Alex.

Not Connor.

God.

I have a mate.

I do.

Don’t I?

“Do you though?” my wolf purred, like she wasn’t the reason my mind was already unraveling.” Because I remember us screaming for Alex. Not Connor. Not once. Not even when we came.”

“Shut up,” I hissed, slapping more soap on my body like that would help. Like maybe if I scrubbed hard enough, I could silence her too.

But she laughed.

She fucking laughed in my head, moaning like she could still feel his tongue dragging over our skin.

“You can’t shut me up. Not when I can still feel him. He was here. Right here.” Her voice purred lower. “He licked us here. And here. And there. Don’t forget the bite. Goddess, the bite. He marked us. You’re going to keep scrubbing until you’re bloody and it still won’t go away.”

My hand froze over my shoulder, right where his teeth had broken skin.

I slapped the sponge down again harder. “SHUT. UP.”

But it didn’t help.

It didn’t make her stop and it didn’t make the images go away either.

His face. The way his eyes dropped when I whispered his name. The slow curl of his mouth like he knew he’d broken me. The sound he made when he moaned into my nipple before biting it like it was his favorite meal.

The way he pulled my legs apart and fucked me with everything. Like he hated me. Like he needed me. Like I was already claimed.

And the worst part?

I wanted it again.

The soap slipped out of my hand.

“Fuck.”

I bent to grab it, and the second I moved, I felt it again. That stretch.

And my wolf?

“Oh, Goddess, I love him,” she moaned inside me. “Can we go back? Just five more minutes. One more knot. Let him ruin us again.”

“No,” I bit out, dragging my nails down my thigh like that would shock me back to reality. “No. No, we’re not doing this again. We’re not going back.”

“Why not?”

“Because I said so! And I don’t think he’s my mate!”

“Neither is your vibrator, but you still ride it like it’s your soulmate before you met Connor.”

My mouth dropped open. “You did not just say that.”

“Oh, I said it.” She purred again. “And you know I’m right. We screamed for him. We begged him. You were dripping down your legs and it wasn’t fear. It was need. Be honest with yourself. Who fucks you better? Connor…or Alex?”

I froze.

My heart stopped.

I didn’t want to answer. I couldn’t.

Because I already knew the truth.

My body told me the truth before I could even think. My nipples had gone hard again. My thighs were rubbing together like they missed him. Like they didn’t care about guilt or shame or vows or mates. They just wanted him.

And my cunt?

Wet.

Again.

I looked down at myself in horror.

“Oh my fucking Goddess,” I whispered, feeling the heat rise to my face like fire. “I’m a mess. I’m a traitor. I’m a heat–crazed, cock–hungry traitor with a mate and I still want Alex.”

“You don’t want him,” my wolf whispered, softer now. “You crave him. There’s a difference. You ache for him. You need him. You belong to him. He touched us like he already knew. Like he’d claimed us the second we opened our legs.” claimed

“I didn’t open them,” I snapped. “He made me.”

“Did he?” she asked. “Or did we pull him closer?”

I groaned and slammed the sponge against my chest, as if bruising myself would make me feel clean. But it didn’t. I didn’t feel clean. I didn’t feel fixed. I didn’t feel like anything except his.

I turned off the water and just stood there, trembling, dripping, staring at the floor like it had answers.

“I’m going to die,” I whispered to myself. “I’m going to literally die naked in this stupid shower, and the headline is going to be ‘Virgin Omega self–destructs after getting railed by the wrong Alpha.”

“You’re different now,” my wolf sang with glee. “He made sure of that. You remember how it felt when he split us open? How deep he went? How he held us down and…”

“OH MY GOD STOP TALKING!”

I slammed my hands over my ears like it would help, like I could shut her out, like I could pretend my own damn wolf wasn’t turning against me in the middle of my heat–ridden, guilt–drenched breakdown. But she didn’t stop.

She laughed.

She fucking laughed.

Then her voice dropped, low and lethal and dripping with something I didn’t want to hear.

“He’s your second mate, girlie.”

I froze.

The air in the bathroom turned heavy. The silence after her words wasn’t silent at all. It roared.

“You fucking said this before! I refuse!”

“You heard me,” she hissed, louder now, her voice like fire curling through my blood. “Don’t you dare act like you didn’t feel the bond. Don’t you dare pretend. You know that wasn’t just sex. You let him fuck you because we recognized him.”

“No,” I whispered, barely able to breathe. “No, it wasn’t real. It was heat. It was stupid. It was a mistake…”

“If it was just some dude, you wouldn’t have opened your thighs,” she snarled. “You would’ve kicked. Screamed. Fought harder. But you didn’t. You begged him. You screamed for him. You climaxed with him.”

I shook my head.

“Stop.”

“You felt him in your bones. Your blood. Your soul. That’s why you let him knot you. That’s why you let him sink his teeth in. That’s why your cunt clenched like it was home the second he touched you.”

“Stop,” I whispered again, weaker this time, because I already knew she was right.

“And just so you know,” she added, softer now, quieter but somehow sharper, deadlier-“Connor felt it.”

I blinked. “Felt…what?”

She didn’t pause.

“The bond snapping into place. The way your body gave in. The second you came on Alex’s cock, Connor felt it. Every fucking second of it. Because he’s still your first mate. And now he knows.”

I stopped breathing.

No.

No no no no no-

My wolf purred. “He felt you break.”

“Oh my God.”

“And he’s coming.”

I dropped the towel. My knees hit the tile. My heart stopped.

“He’s coming,” she repeated. “And he’s not coming to hold you.”

What do you mean he’s not coming to hold me?” I shouted, spinning around so fast I nearly tripped over my own feet. My breath was coming out in sharp bursts. My hands were shaking. I could feel the tears stinging the back of my eyes but I refused to let them fall. “He’s my mate. My real mate. He felt it too. He told me he told me I was his. So what the hell do you mean he’s not coming for me?”

I was pacing now, back and forth like a lunatic, clutching my arms around myself even though my body was already too hot.

And then my wolf snapped.

(You really think Connor cares about this second mate crap?) Her voice was deeper this time. Harsher. Not sweet and protective like before. No. This was that other side of her. The wild one. The side that didn’t give a shit about right or wrong or who was supposed to belong to who.

(Fuck that. You think he’s going to come here and gently kiss your tears away? Hold you like a princess and rescue you from this heat? He’s an Alpha, Lily. The second he finds us, he’s going to shove your legs open, slam you against the nearest surface, and make damn sure your pussy takes it.)

I gasped. Loudly. Too loudly. My thighs clenched so tight it hurt. I wasn’t even sure if I was angry or turned on or about to cry or all three at once.

“No,” I whispered, shaking my head like that would silence her. “He wouldn’t.

(And you do want it. Don’t lie. You’re dripping for it. And once he smells it, Lily, he’s not going to ask twice. He’s going to make your body forget every single reason it ever wanted to say no.)

I hated how true it felt. I hated how wet I already was. And worst of all–I hated that some dark, desperate part of me actually wanted it.

“Connor is gonna fuck the stupid mate bond with Alex out of your body.”

I blinked. Once. Twice. My lips parted, but I couldn’t speak. I had so many things to say. So many questions. So many feelings bubbling up in my chest like they were going to choke me if I didn’t spit them out. But my mouth was dry. My throat was tight. My body was hot and trembling and my mind was screaming.

I tried to form a sentence. I swear I did. I opened my mouth. I lifted my hands. I even tried to say his name. But right as I did..

The door swung open.

And there he was.

Alex.

Standing there like the air had been knocked clean out of his lungs. His eyes locked straight on me. Not my face. Not my eyes. Not my shaking hands or my flinching body. No. His gaze dropped. Landed on my belly.

His face went white. Like ghost white. His lips parted, then pressed shut again. His whole body tensed like he’d been sucker–punched in the gut and couldn’t breathe.

Then he said it.

Oh my God. He actually said it.

“You were pregnant before I fucked you?”

My entire soul left my body. I couldn’t even lie. I couldn’t speak. I just stood there, completely frozen, like I’d been caught doing the worst possible thing in the world. Because I had. And the worst part?

He looked… betrayed.