I Regret Being Alpha’s Secret Mate novel Chapter 147

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Chapter 130

Clam 10 Come By Chark

The memory takes me back to when I was eight years old, when I arrived at the Silvermane family with my foster mother, Dorothy

My memory of that time was vivid, the pain raw and visceral.

Mrs. Calista treated me as if I were her granddaughter but Selene found me displeasing.

I remembered the cold indifference, the lack of warmth I experienced from her.

Taking advantage of Calista going out with my foster mother, I was locked in the basement of the Silvermane family. My terror was a suffocating blanket, the memory of it a nightmare.

In order to scare me, Selene deliberately had the servant put some large rats in my room and locked my door, leaving me with those scary little things.

I knew it might sound a bit absurd that a she-wolf was afraid of rats but I really did. I was born with this fear, though I didn’t know where inherited it.

I constantly knocked on the door, seeking help, desperate.

I shouted with all my might until my voice was hoarse, clapped my hands until they were swollen, and scratched my fingers until they bled, but no one responded to me.

My cries for help were unanswered, with anguish echoing in the darkness. I was too young to be able to shift.

Feeling too weak to make any sound, I curled up in the corner. My body trembled.

I dared not sleep, nor could I. My nerves highly tense.

My senses were heightened, amplifying every sound.

In the darkness, the sound of rats’ squeaking stimulated my nerves.

Every now and then, a mouse would crawl over me.

I shuddered at the memory; it was a horror I could never escape.

For me, at the age of eight, it was a fear I couldn’t overcome. A trauma was left in my childhood forever. Though I didn’t know where I got this fear for rats, I did know my wolf got this fear from me.

I was agonizingly locked in the basement for over twenty four hours. At my most desperate moment, Lucian found me.

I remembered the relief, the overwhelming sense of rescue.

He opened the door of the basement and carried me out. My memory of his touch was a comfort, a contrast to the horror I had just endured.

The twelve-year-old boy, not as tall as he is now, firmly held me in his arms.

I leaned on his chest, smelling his unique scent. A comfort, a reminder of safety and protection.

In my eyes, Lucian at that moment was like a savior. I recognized him as protector, rescuer.

He took me away from the dark abyss. I always remembered that day he saved me and would never forget it.

And today, he punished me with a baseless accusation for Ayla and Willow, and pushed me into an abyss with his own hands.

Torment me with what I feared the most. My fear was used as a weapon against me.

My heart felt like it was tightly clenched by an invisible hand, getting tighter and tighter, so tight that I couldn’t breathe.

I knelt on the ground, desperately pulling at my collar, my lips weakly parted as I gasped for breath. My body was reaching its limit.

My nerves also had reached their limit, and in extreme fear, my voice no longer had the same firmness it had when I was just locked in.

My strength was failing; my fear was consuming me.

I softened my stance and presented my vulnerability to Lucian. I trembled and choked as I called out his name, “Lucian, let me out.” My plea was desperate, raw.

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Lucian Lucian Lucian… Open the door… My repetition was a desperate attempt to break through his indifference

1 raised my hand and pounded on the door, calling Lucian’s name over and over again

The trembling of fear’s lingering sound did not form into a voice.

He knew very well that I was afraid. But still, there was no response given to me.

Darkness amplified the senses.

I could hear any sound from outside inside.

There were footsteps outside.

Lucian was just outside the door.

I could even imagine his expression, and his superior’s posture towering above. He must have be waiting for me to be on the verge of collapse.

He might make me cry and apologize to Ayla and Willow like he used to do.

I recalled that the last time I ruined Willow’s party, Ayla called the Alpha’s warriors and sent me to the Judgment Chamber. I was later released by Ragnar.

That night, I had a high fever. My wolf’s body had been weakened by the trauma.

Lucian stood by my bedside and said condescendingly, “You never talked to me? Is it so hard for you to ask me for help? Do you trust me?

He was waiting for me to ask him. Or in my eyes, he was asking me to beg him.

He waited until I realized my mistake. But why should I apologize?! I didn’t do anything wrong.

If there was one mistake I made, it should be that fateful night five years ago when, out of deep love for him, I didn’t turn him down when he was drugged.

I pressed my hand against the door and tightened it with force.

It was the sound of a nail breaking. My pain was sharp, agonizing.

My ten fingers were connected to my heart, and I trembled with pain.

The excruciating pain surged from my fingertips, corroding my limbs and body.

But my heart ached nonetheless.

I bit my lip tightly, trying to use the pain to resist the fear in my heart.

Suddenly, the sound of a mouse’s squeak came from my ear.

I couldn’t tell if it was the images in my memory that were causing me hallucinations, or if there were also mice in this basement.

It must have been an illusion! My desperate attempt to deny the reality was fragile.

The mansion was cleaned and tidied every day, unless someone like Selene deliberately released mice, otherwise how could there be mice?

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