I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 124

Chapter 124

Emery’s POV

My eyes opened and I immediately felt… shitty.

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Like the kind of shitty that sits heavy in your chest and makes you regret every dramatic life choice you’ve ever made. I stared at the white ceiling, blinking slowly, wondering if I should punch myself in the face or just hope the floor opened up and swallowed me whole.

Honestly?

The floor option felt kinder. A fitting, slightly dramatic punishment for acting like a brat.

Would he remember?

The thought slipped in before I could stop it.

Of course he would, Emery. Atlas isn’t going to wake up with sudden amnesia and forget you having a full- blown tantrum in the pool.

I groaned and pulled the blanket up over my face, muffling the sound. My legs, or rather, leg and a half, kicked out in frustration, then I froze and sucked in a breath.

Okay. Enough.

I pushed the covers away, sat up slowly, and reached for my prosthetic. Once it was secure, I stood, steadying myself for a second before heading to the bathroom. I desperately needed a shower. One that could reset my brain and maybe wash last night down the drain.

The water helped. A lot.

By the time I stepped out, steam curling around me, my thoughts felt quieter. Still messy, but quieter. I stood in front of the mirror, towel wrapped tight, studying my reflection like it might talk back.

Then my eyes drifted to the bed.

A cute yellow dress lay there. Tiny straps. A little bow. The deep cut that would framed my boobs really well.

I slipped it on.

…Yeah.

Okay. That was really hot. The dress hugged me just right revealing my curves and my boobs sat right just like I had imagined. Next for some crazy reason I curled my hair, soft waves falling down my back. I tilted my head, squinting at myself.

Did I grow an inch or two? Or was I just standing straighter?

I leaned closer to the mirror, glossed my lips, pressed them together.

14:34 Tue, Feb 3

Chapter 124

Pretty. Cute. And definitely not dressed like this because of Atlas.

“Yeah,” I muttered. “Even I heard my own lie.”

I groaned and covered my face with both hands.

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You’re not supposed to care what he thinks. Not supposed to wonder how he sees you after last night. Not supposed to spray your favorite, and ridiculously expensive, perfume just so he has no choice but to notice.

And yet… here I was. Spraying it anyway.

I sighed, dropping my hands, glancing at my reflection again. I did look good. And it would be a total waste not to go out like this.

I was just about to turn away when my eyes dropped.

To the prosthetic.

And just like that, the confidence vanished.

It was like someone flipped a switch inside me. I hated seeing it. Hated how my brain always went there. Hated that no matter how good I felt, I imagined Atlas’s eyes going straight to it.

I swallowed hard.

I loved the yellow dress.

But I didn’t love the idea of him staring.

With a frustrated sigh, I ran a hand through my hair and went back to the closet.

Clothes ended up everywhere, dresses half-hung, jackets tossed aside. When I finally looked up again, I was wearing a long white dress instead. Slim straps. Flowing fabric. My boobs still looked good, and then I slipped on a yellow knitted jacket.

It was pretty.

Safe.

But something about it felt… wrong.

Like I was hiding.

Maybe everything felt wrong lately,

I stared at myself for a long moment, shoulders slumping, then forced myself to straighten up. I hated how I could be okay one second and completely wrecked the next. Like my emotions were on a broken switch.

“Suck it in, Emery,” I whispered.

I lifted my chin, squared my shoulders, and gave my reflection a small, determined smile.

14:34 Tue, Feb 3

Chapter 124

Suck. It. in.

I stepped out of my room with the careful precision of someone diffusing a bomb.

Please don’t be here. Please don’t be here. Please…

Boom.

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Of course I ran straight into him. Because why wouldn’t I?

“Atlas, hi!” I blurted out, way too cheerful for someone whose emotional state had been a full rollercoaster with no seatbelt. I smiled so hard my face hurt. If smiles burned calories, I’d be shredded.

“Emery.”

His voice was soft. Like dangerously soft. Like my stomach just did a flip soft.

Great.

He was looking at me with that look. The one packed with kindness and worry and, ugh, pity. I hated that look. I hated that it made my chest tight. And just when I felt him about to say something serious and grown- up and emotionally responsible, I panicked and beat him to it.

“Look, I just wanted to apologize about last night,” I said, laughing nervously. My cheeks were screaming. “I overreacted. You know how they say every human gets a minute of madness? Yeah. That was mine. Because I am not coocoo. I repeat…I am not coocoo.”

I laughed again. Too loud. Too long. If I stopped, I’d probably cry from secondhand embarrassment.

And even though my brain was yelling STOP, EMERY, SHUT UP, I kept going.

“coocoo who says that .. apparently me” I laughed more wiping the tears from my eyes. “So what I’m trying to say is I didn’t mean anything I said, I was just…”

Gone.

All my words vanished.

Because Atlas’s arms were suddenly around me. Like, around…around me.

I froze.

He was hugging me. In the hallway. The hallway with cameras. The hallway where our parents existed. The hallway where rumors are born and raised.

My eyes widened as I stiffly patted his chest once, like that would help. “Atlas, wait…we can’t. The CCTV’s right there and our parents could walk in any second. They’ll think we’re hooking up again. From a hug.”

”

He didn’t let go.

14:34 Tue, Feb 3

Chapter 124

Actually, he held me closer.

“I don’t care,” he whispered. “I really don’t care.”

And just like that, my fight drained out of me.

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I didn’t even realize when I leaned in, when my forehead pressed against his chest, when my hands curled into the back of his shirt like they’d been waiting all day to do that.

I breathed him in. Familiar. Safe. Atlas.

God. I needed this.

I closed my eyes, my body finally relaxing in his arms.

Turns out, I didn’t need an apology.

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