I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 123

Chapter 123

Daisy’s POV

I never believed someone could change so drastically.

How… how the hell was it even possible?

Zac

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A man who once made sure I was happy. Who stayed up all night when I was sick. Who plucked my favorite flowers even though he was allergic to bees. They might’ve seemed small to the world, but to me? They were everything.

Ron used to be a good man. A man who stood by me when no one else did. A man who made me feel chosen.

Then came the rainy days. The mood swings. The bottles piling up in the sink. The nights he stumbled through the door reeking of whiskey and rage. Until one day his hand slipped.

And one day turned into many. Most people would call me insane for being here. I had a good man at home. A safe life. A second chance.

And yet here I was…naked in bed with Ron.

I stared at him, my chest tight, my fingers curled into the sheets.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, grinning lazily.

I didn’t answer. I just kept staring. Searching his face for something that used to be there.

Was it love?

No. Absolutely not.

This wasn’t love.

This was a messed-up psychological chain I couldn’t seem to break.

“Don’t tell me you regret it, baby,” he added, his grin widening. “A few minutes ago, you were screaming my name pretty loud.”

“Stop,” I snapped, my voice sharp.

He chuckled. “What? I bet little Rory doesn’t give you that.”

My jaw clenched. Heat rushed up my neck.

“Can you not talk about my husband like that?”

He laughed again, louder this time, and it made my blood boil.

“What’s funny?” I demanded.

14:33 Tue, Feb 3

Chapter 123

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“You,” he said, eyes dragging over me. “You wanna act like a saint now? Defending your rich ass husband? What, you feeling guilty?”

I looked away, my stomach twisting.

He leaned closer, his fingers brushing a strand of hair off my shoulder. The touch felt familiar. Wrong. Comforting. Disgusting all at once.

“You can feel guilty all you want,” he murmured. “But at the end of the day… You always come back to me. Engagement night. Wedding day. And now…”

His eyes locked onto mine.

“You and I are stuck in this twisted chain.”

Then he kissed me again. Quick. Claiming.

When he pulled away, he smirked and slid off the bed, heading toward the bathroom like he owned the world.

The second the door shut, I sat up, my lungs burning.

I pressed my hands to my thighs and forced myself to breathe.

One. Two. Three.

Again.

The door opened. He came back laughing.

“Hey, remember your wedding day?” he said casually. “When Atlas showed up? Kid looked fierce. Searching around like he knew his slutty mother would crawl back to her messed-up husband. If he’d opened that bathroom door? Boom. Wedding over. Would’ve saved him from that cute little affair getting exposed too.”

My stomach dropped.

I didn’t even know what burned more, his words or the truth tangled inside them. I shot out of bed, moving fast, yanking my clothes on with shaking hands. I couldn’t stay here another second. I walked up to him, my voice low and steady, even though my heart was pounding.

“Don’t ever call me again,” I said. “Not a message. Not a voicemail. Nothing, I can’t afford you risking my life… or having Atlas find out.”

Ron just smiled. Slow. Knowing, “Deal.”

And when I thought I could actually leave here sane, he strikes again.

“Oh, by the way, I need $15,000,” Ron said so casually.

My head snapped up. My stomach dropped.

14:33 Tue, Feb 3

Chapter 123

“What! I sent you money last week.”

:

“Yeah, gone,” he said, dragging his pants up like we were talking about grocery money.

I walked toward him, my jaw tightening. “You’re gambling again, aren’t you?”

His grin answered before his mouth did.

“Oh my gosh, Ron, what the fuck is wrong with you!”

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He raised a brow, still buckling his belt. “Hey, watch your tone, princess, we don’t want our boy finding out about our little meetup.”

I scoffed, folding my arms across my chest to stop my hands from shaking. “You wanna use our son as a threat?”

Ron paused like he was actually considering the question. Then he shrugged.

“Yes.”

The word hit me harder than a slap. He stepped closer, invading my space, his voice low and ugly.

“Now imagine how our good boy would feel when he realized his mama’s been getting some good fucks by his old man….I’m sure he’ll be heartbroken or worse when he realizes that you are the reason his little crush… what is it, Emma or Eva? Your stepdaughter, oh, whatever gets to live with one leg for the rest of her life…do you think he would ever forgive you?”

My fingers curled into fists.

“What are you talking about?” I said, hands clenched so tight my nails bit into my skin, my gaze held his in hope he wouldn’t sense the fear radiating out of me.

He leaned in, breath hot against my ear. “Oh, baby, you think I don’t know your little secret.”

My heartbeat spiked. My chest tightened. Air suddenly felt thin. I forced myself to hold his gaze even as panic crawled up my spine.

“You’re not so slick as you think…but I’m really surprised by you, Daisy…turns me on.”

I scoffed, but it came out weak.

“You really have the balls, you know… sending that video on the night of the wedding to everyone’s phone….wow mastermind.”

“I did what I had to do…I was protecting our son.”

“Oh, bullshit… Protecting? You sound like that girl is some kind of fucking Nazi kidnapping your son.”

“They can’t be together.”

He laughed…so loud and cruel.

14:33 Tue, Feb 3

Chapter 123

口

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“Why, because you love her father…it doesn’t seem that way, considering you’re still dripping with my cum..I thought a mother is the most selfless being, especially when it comes to their children…but yet you couldn’t. let go of your fake fantasies with Rory and allow your son to be happy.”

My throat burned.

“He’s just a kid… he doesn’t know what he wants.”

“If that makes you sleep at night.”

I bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood, hoping the sting would drown out the guilt clawing through my chest. Ron pulled his shirt over his head like nothing we’d said mattered.

“Wanna know what I think?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “I think you’re selfish and heartless…do you not feel guilty when you see that poor girl broken…or Atlas hurting.”

My teeth ground together.

“You off all people, don’t have a right to talk about this…not after all the terrible things you done to me and Atlas.”

He nodded slowly.

“You’re right, I’m an awful father, but you know the difference between myself and yourself is that you think you’re a good person, I know I’m not.”

That landed.

He smiled, leaning close one last time.

“Now do the needful, let’s not create more drama.”

He kissed my forehead like he was mocking me, waving his newfound threat to my face, and walked out. The second the door shut, my knees buckled. I collapsed onto the edge of the bed, my breath coming in sharp, broken pulls. Each inhale felt trapped halfway down my lungs. My chest squeezed tighter and tighter.

No.

I scrambled for my bag with trembling hands, dumping it onto the floor until my fingers closed around my inhaler. I pressed it to my mouth and inhaled hard.

Once, Twice.

The air finally came back in a shaky rush. I pressed a hand to my chest, tears blurring my vision. I’m not a terrible person…

I’m not…

*****

Sent.

14:33 Tue, Feb 3

Chapter 123

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47

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Fifteen fucking grands…all gone. I stared at it for a second, my jaw tightening as I slowly signed out of my banking app. My fingers felt stiff, like they didn’t belong to me anymore. I slipped my phone back into my bag and straightened my shoulders, forcing my face into something calm.

It’s handled, I told myself… It’s fine.

I walked down the hall toward Atlas’s room, my steps quiet against the floor. I just needed to see him. Just needed to make sure he was okay.

I knocked lightly.

“Atlas…”

No answer. I pushed the door open, and it was empty. Hmmm, he never mentioned going out. Or had he gone to the gym?

I turned to leave as I should, but for some reason, I paused, my eyes drifted back to the desk.

To his laptop.

Open.

My stomach twisted.

Don’t, Daisy.

But my feet kept moving. I leaned over the desk, my heart starting to pound, and glanced at the screen.