I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 186

Chapter 186

Atlas POV

I stared at the email on my phone over and over again.

Subject: Re: Private Visit Request for Emery Collins

Hi Atlas,

Thank you for reaching out.

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We’d be happy to welcome you and Ms. Collins for a private observation of our para swim training session this Thursday at 6:30 PM at Summit Aquatic Center. I’ve spoken with the coaching staff, and we can make arrangements for the two of you to watch from poolside in a more private setting.

My eyes kept moving over the rest of it, but those first few lines were enough to make my heart pound.

Excitement.

Nerves.

Hope.

All of it hit at once.

Because this was big.

Really big.

And the truth was, ever since Ford and Sam’s place, I hadn’t been able to get that look on Emery’s face out of my head. The one she had when she stared at those swimming pictures too long. That quiet ache in her eyes. The sadness. The longing.

I’d seen it.

And once I saw it, I couldn’t ignore it.

I knew Emery loved swimming. Always had. Hell, even back then, I knew it was more than a sport to her. It was part of who she was. So when she suddenly shifted into modeling after everything, I understood why… but something about it never fully sat right with me.

Not because modeling wasn’t good.

Not because she wasn’t incredible at it.

But because it didn’t feel like the whole truth.

I just wanted her to be happy.

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Chapter 186

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Wanted her to know that maybe….just maybe, she could still be that girl in the picture. Smiling with a medal in her hand. Looking like the world had cracked wide open just for her.

“Is everything okay?”

I looked up fast.

Emery was watching me from the couch, her brows pinched a little, her voice soft with sleep and concern.

I forced my face into something normal. “Yeah. Just… work stuff.”

She studied me for half a second like she knew I was lying, but she was too tired to fight me on it. She just nodded and yawned, her whole body softening.

I smiled and stood, walking over to her. My hand found her waist automatically, fingers spreading there as I guided her up from the couch.

“Come on,” I murmured. “Let’s go to bed.”

That got a small smile out of her.

Later, when we were under the covers, Emery curled into me like she belonged there. Like she’d always belonged there. She fell asleep fast, tucked against my chest, one arm draped over me, her breathing evening out until it turned into the lightest little snore.

I stayed awake.

Listening to it.

Holding her.

Thinking about tomorrow.

Hoping she’d love it.

Praying I hadn’t crossed a line.

I looked down carefully, not wanting to wake her, and just stared at her peaceful face in the dark.

God.

I could do this forever.

Hold her like this.

Keep her close.

Make her smile.

Take every hurt she ever carried and fight it myself if I had to.

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Chapter 186

Yeah, maybe that sounded dramatic as hell.

Maybe it sounded cringe.

Didn’t matter.

I’d do anything for her.

Anything.

0:0

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I pulled her a little closer and rested my head lightly against hers. She snuggled deeper into me without waking, and finally, somewhere between hope and exhaustion, I let my eyes close.

Dreaming of the look on her face when we got there.

****

“Are you ever gonna stop with your surprises?”

I kept my eyes on the road, but I could feel Emery staring holes into the side of my face.

“What?” I asked, glancing at her.

She was turned in her seat, squinting at me like she could force the truth out of me if she looked hard enough.

“I’m trying to see if I can read you,” she said.

I laughed under my breath, reached over, and took her hand into mine. I brought it to my mouth and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

“Sorry to break it to you,” I said, “but that’s not gonna work.”

She huffed and looked back out the windshield, crossing her arms like she was offended by my lack of cooperation.

Then, a second later, she turned back with a dangerous little spark in her eyes.

“I’ll show you my tits.”

I groaned.

Fuck.

I gripped the wheel a little tighter. “That is extremely tempting.”

She perked up.

“But nope,” I added.

She dropped back in her seat dramatically. “Wow. If my boobs won’t work, then this must be some top-secret,

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Chapter 186

government-level shit.”

That pulled a real laugh out of me.

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She bit her lip, trying to act annoyed, but I could see the curiosity eating her alive. I loved this side of her. The impatient, nosy, can’t-sit-still-until-she-knows side. It reminded me of nineteen-year-old Emery, the one who used to pester me for answers and bargain with me like she was negotiating a hostage release.

I squeezed her hand gently and looked over at her again.

She caught it.

The smile…The softness.

And she smiled back.

A few minutes later, I turned into the parking lot and slowed the car. The building came into view. The second Emery really saw it, she went still. Then she gasped.

“Wait…” she whispered.

I parked and killed the engine.

Her eyes were wide now, fixed on the sign ahead of us.

“Is this…”

I looked at her and smiled.

She stared at the building again like she couldn’t quite believe it was real.

“No way,” she whispered.

We got out of the car together, and I watched her as she looked up at the entrance to Summit Aquatic Center, her face caught somewhere between shock and something deeper.

Something fragile…hopeful.

The evening air was cool, but I could feel the tension coming off her. I stepped beside her and slid my hands into my pockets so I wouldn’t crowd her.

“You don’t have to do anything,” I said quietly. “You don’t have to talk, or swim, or even stay long if you don’t

want to.”

She turned her head slowly and looked at me.

I held her gaze.

“I just wanted you to see,” I said, softer now, “that it’s still there, Em. If you want it.”

Her lips parted, but no words came out. For a second, all she did was stare at me. Then back at the building.

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Chapter 186

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And I could see it all over her face, that fight between fear and hope. I reached for her hand. She let me take

“Come on,” I murmured. “Let’s go inside.”

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