I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Emery’s POV

No.

Wait…no?!

Did I just… get rejected by Atlas?

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I blinked, my body still frozen in the middle of the kitchen, the words echoing like a slap. He looked at me, his jaw tight, his gaze unreadable, and then said it.

“We should call it a night.”

And then… he walked away.

He actually walked away.

I stared after him, completely stunned. My mouth parted in disbelief, but nothing came out. I wanted to say something. Anything. Pull it back. Pretend I was joking. But it was too late.

The moment was already gone.

I scoffed under my breath, hugging my arms around myself. “Unbelievable.”

****

Practice the next day was a blur. I dove. Swam. Came up gasping. And still…his voice was in my head.

We should call it a night.

God, shut up.

I rolled my eyes underwater like that would somehow cleanse my brain, but the damage had been done. Atlas Lawson had rejected me, and now my brain was stuck on a full-loop cringe montage.

I hadn’t even seen him all morning. He’d probably gone in for early practice. Of course he did. Because avoiding me was obviously priority number one. Whatever. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. I’m fine. After practice, I walked alongside Jazz and Sam, dragging my towel over my shoulder, trying not to look like a person spiraling internally.

“Hey, uh…” I started, trying to sound casual. “Can I ask you guys something?”

Jazz turned to me, brushing her wet hair back. “Sure, what’s up?”

Sam raised a brow. “This better be juicy. My drama cup is half full.”

I exhaled slowly. “So, um… I’ve got this friend. And she has this kind of complicated… thing with a guy.”

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Chapter 28

Sam gasped, placing her hand on her chest. “A friend, huh? How very not obvious.”

Jazz rolled her eyes. “Ignore her. What’s going on with your friend?”

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I cleared my throat, trying not to sound too rehearsed. “Well, they’re not together, exactly. But there’s tension. And then one night they got a little drunk and… hooked up.”

Sam leaned in like she was taking mental notes. “What kind of hooking up are we talking about? PG-13 or straight up R-rated stuff?”

I made a face. “Tongues and hands. No… actual sex.”

Sam nodded sagely. “Ah, yes. The prequel.”

Jazz shot her a look. “Go on, Emery.”

I continued, pretending I wasn’t deeply humiliated. “So… now my friend realizes she might like him. Or

want… more.”

I bit my lip. Okay, that was a half-lie. I didn’t like Atlas. I mean… not like that. I just needed… closure. Release. A proper orgasm so I could stop picturing him every time I closed my eyes and finally focus in the pool again.

“That’s fair,” Jazz said thoughtfully. “So what happened?”

“She told him she wanted to have sex,” I said quickly. “And… he said no.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Oof,” Sam muttered, wincing. “Yeah, that’s a cold-ass rejection. Sorry to your friend.”

Jazz nodded, giving me a sympathetic look. “I mean… maybe he doesn’t feel the same way? Or he thinks sleeping together would complicate things?”

“But they made out,” I blurted before I could stop myself. “He was into it. I mean-she said he was into it.”

Sam shrugged. “Sure, he might’ve kissed her like his life depended on it, but sometimes that doesn’t mean much.”

That stung. More than I thought it would.

Was I imagining it? The way his hands gripped my waist? The way he looked at me like he wanted to tear me apart. The way his breath shook when I touched him?

No. He wanted me.

Didn’t he?

Jazz touched my arm gently. “Tell your friend to take a breath. She’s still a queen. Whether that guy sees it or

not.”

Sam nodded. “Facts. And if he doesn’t want to see her naked glory, that’s his loss.”

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Chapter 28

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“Yeah…” I tried to smile. “Definitely gomma tell her that.”

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But even as we kept walking and the girls started talking about some guy from their econ class who wore flip- flops in the rain, I felt the pit in my stomach stay.

Damn you, Atlas Lawson.

You know how people say grief comes in stages?

Well, screw grief, I was cycling through an entirely different storm of emotions. Denial. Sadness. And now! Pure, unfiltered rage.

How dare him?

HOW, FREAKING, DARE. HIM.

I was in this stupid mental meltdown because of him. Okay, maybe not entirely his fault, but he definitely carried half the blame.

What the hell was in his damn tongue anyway?

Because ever since he gave me that night…that kiss….my body had straight-up refused to cooperate. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t sleep. And more importantly…

1. Couldn’t. Have. A freaking Orgasm….

And when I couldn’t finish, I couldn’t concentrate. And when I couldn’t concentrate, I kept flopping during swim practice like some half-baked rookie who barely made the team.

I needed to ace this season.

This was everything.

I would’ve gone on a dating spree, explored some options, tested the theory that maybe, just maybe, someone else could light the same spark, but come on… This was Linchester, not Tinder Land. I wasn’t about to sleep my way across the male population, hoping one of them could turn the ignition key that Atlas had broken and taken with him. So I settled for the only one who’d ever made my brain go static.

Atlas freaking Lawson.

And here’s the thing about me, I don’t give up.

When I want something, I go for it. All in. Full throttle. Which is exactly why I found myself stomping, okay, walking but with intent, across the lecture hall after sliding into class.

Atlas was already seated. Relaxed. Manspreading like he owned the damn row. He sat beside some teammate, one of the hockey guys I barely knew, chatting like he didn’t just break a part of me two nights ago.

I paused, inhaled, and then forced the sweetest, fakest sunshine smile onto my face.

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Chapter 28

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“Hi,” I said, turning to the teammate, polite as could be. “Sorry, but do you mind if we swap seats?”

He blinked at me, confused, glancing at Atlas like he was asking permission.

Atlas didn’t say a word.

After a beat, the guy shrugged and stood up, sliding down to the next seat without a word.

Victory.

I sat down, spine straight, shoulders high. Atlas gave me a sideways glance, brow raised just slightly.

“Well, that’s a first,” he muttered, his voice low and lazy. “Didn’t think I’d ever see you willingly sit beside me in public.”

Nope.

Not today.

I didn’t have time for our usual verbal tennis. So I went straight for the jugular.

“Why won’t you have sex with me?”

He stilled. Not visibly, but I noticed it. The subtle shift in his breathing. The small clench of his jaw. His face remained unreadable, eyes fixed on the front of the class like I hadn’t just dropped a nuclear bomb beside him.

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