I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 46

Chapter 46

Chapter 46

Atlas’s POV

I’m fucking jealous.

…

:

69

E55 vouchers

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I am. Don’t even recall the last time I felt this pathetic twist in my gut. My hand tightens around what I think is my second hard seltzer, but who’s counting anymore.

Why the hell is she talking to him?

Why is she laughing like that?

She never laughed like that with me.

I shifted in my seat, jaw clenched, eyes fixed anywhere but her. My mind screamed at me to look away. To keep playing it cool like I’ve always done. I’ve had years of practice, hell, back in high school, I was a master at pretending.

I watched her kiss Henry once. His hands on her waist. Her fingers in his hair. I looked away, smiled at the guys, acted like it was no big deal. Like my chest wasn’t caving in while some dude got the girl I wanted more than anything. But this? This wasn’t the same.

This felt worse.

Because now I knew what she tasted like. I knew the sound she made when she climaxed in my arms. I’d heard her whisper my name like it was a secret. A prayer. A freaking damn curse. And now she was down there on the couch with Howard. Laughing.

Flirting.

Smiling.

It took everything in me not to go over there and drag her out by the wrist like a possessive psycho. So instead, I stood, muttered something about needing air, and headed upstairs. Each step thundered in my ears, rage and something worse…need, building in my chest.

I slammed the door shut behind me. Leaning against the wall, I exhaled hard, like maybe that would ease the tightness in my chest. It didn’t. I ran a hand through my hair. Paced. Sat on the edge of the bed. Stood again.

I wanted her.

God, I wanted her so fucking bad.

I pulled out my phone before I could stop myself.

Come upstairs. Second room on your left…

Please.

15:00 Tue, Dec 30

Chapter 46

400

56 vouchere

And then I waited. Each second was a punch to the gut. What if she didn’t come? But then the door creaked open. She stepped in, soft and quiet, her blonde hair spilling down her back in perfect waves. And I lost it. I didn’t even let her turn around. I moved before my brain caught up, my arms sliding around her waist, pulling her flush against me from behind. My chest to her back, my nose buried in the curve of her neck.

“Atlas?” she said softly, caught off guard.

“You actually came,” I murmured, lips brushing her skin. Her scent was dizzying. Something sweet and clean and her. I could’ve stood there breathing her in all night.

Her voice came out hesitant. “Are you okay, Atlas?”

I smiled faintly, letting my lips graze her shoulder. “You smell so good.”

She stiffened slightly. “Wait… are you drunk?”

I shook my head. “No… Just a little tipsy,” I muttered, voice husky.

I know I should be a gentleman. I should step back, give her space. But I can’t. Maybe it’s the alcohol, just enough to fog the line between control and craving, but I want more of her. Every bit. I want to kiss her so deep she forgets he ever existed. I want to be the only thought running through her head. The only name on her lips.

Mine.

My body’s on fire. Heart pounding, breath unsteady. My muscles tense as I hold her tighter, chest pressed to her back. Every part of me tuned into her, her warmth, her softness, the way she fit so perfectly against me like she was meant to be there. I should pull away before she notices what she does to me.

But I don’t.

I stay right there, arms locked around her waist, chin lowered to her shoulder, nose brushing the side of her neck. Then she stiffens.

Her voice cuts through the quiet. “Wait… hold up. Are you…are you hard right now?”

I let out a low, almost pained groan, followed by a breathy laugh. “Mmm… yeah,” I rasped, voice rough, lips brushing just beneath her ear. “Kind of hard not to be when you’re this close, Em.”

Her body doesn’t move. No pulling away. No gasp of horror. Just stillness.

I swallow hard, heart hammering. Because this? This was the moment. She could walk away, tell me to get a grip, remind me we’re not doing this. That we’re supposed to be friends. Or whatever messed-up label we’ve got now.

But she doesn’t.

She stays.

And that pause, that tiny moment of silence… felt louder than any words.

15:01 Tue, Dec 30

Chapter 46

:

69

E55 vouchers

Em…” I breathed, lips brushing just behind her ear. My voice came out lower than I meant it to. Raw. “Tell me to stop if you want me to.”

God, I was praying she wouldn’t.

Because right now?

I didn’t have it in me to let her go.

She didn’t say anything at first. Just stood there, breathing like she was trying to slow her heart down.

“Say something, Emery,” I whispered, breath hot against her skin. My hands were already tight around her waist, and I knew if she pulled away, I’d be the one falling apart.

Then she let out this tiny, shaky breath and murmured, “Don’t stop.”

Fuck.

I closed my eyes for a second, jaw clenching, holding back a groan. That soft, broken voice of hers undid me completely.

I reached up and gently moved her hair to the side, exposing her neck, and then I was there-lips pressing against her skin, slow kisses turning into open-mouthed ones, sucking, tasting, losing my mind.

She tasted like vanilla and heat and something addictive I couldn’t name. Her body pressed back into me, and when my teeth grazed her shoulder, she let out this soft groan that made my head spin.

“Atlas…”

My name. Out of her mouth. Like that.

I let out a low moan and leaned in closer, mouth back on her skin. “I love when you call my name like that,” I whispered between kisses. “Say it again.”

Her hand gripped my forearm, tight. Like she needed something to hold onto. Like maybe I was making her feel even half as crazy as I felt.

“You’re freaking perfect, Emery,” I breathed, mouth trailing along her collarbone. “So perfect you’re messing with my damn head.”

She didn’t pull away.

So I didn’t stop.

A quiet, helpless sound slipped out of me. “I love when you say my name like that,” I murmured against her skin, kissing her again, slower, deeper. “You’re messing with my head, Em. You have no idea.”

Her jacket slid off her shoulders beneath my hands, soft denim falling to the carpet. Then the white dress, god, she looked unreal in it. Soft, bright, warm. My fingers trembled when I moved the strap aside, not to undress her, just to touch her. To hold her. To keep her close. But as much as I loved her back against me….. I wanted more. I wanted her eyes on me. I wanted her lips. I turned her around, slow and careful, my hand still

15:01 Tue, Dec 30

Chapter 46

firm on her waist.

And when she looked up at me?

69

55 vouchers

Green eyes wide, blown with something between lust and emotion. Her lips parted. Her checks flushed. My hand found her chin, thumb brushing her bottom lip. I tilted her face up, kissed her jaw. Then her cheek. Her temple. Her forehead. Her nose.

And finally…her mouth.

The second our lips touched, she let out this tiny moan that I swear I had lost every ounce to think. I kissed her deep, body pushing her back into the wall. She didn’t stop me. Didn’t even hesitate.

VERIFYCAPTCHA_LABELVerify