I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 48

Chapter 48

Chapter 48

Emery’s POV

It was finally the day of the competition with Cal U.

And my heart? Oh, it wouldn’t stop pounding.

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I kept bouncing on my heels, trying to breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth. This could go two ways: happy, victorious, ice-cream-and-hype-texts type of day… or sad, miserable, lose-and-cry-into-my- pillow kind of day. And I really, really hoped it wouldn’t be the latter.

“Alright, Collins. You trained for this. You drowned for this. You gave up cupcakes for this,” I muttered to myself under my breath like a lunatic as I stretched my arms behind me.

“EMMY BEAR!!!”

I froze.

That voice. That obnoxiously loud voice.

I looked up just in time to see Ford jogging in like he owned the pool deck, arms spread like he was announcing my candidacy for president.

He was grinning ear to ear, eyes shining as he shouted, “You’re looking at Linchester’s next-level Olympic medalist, baby!”

Oh. God.

I slapped a palm to my forehead. “Why,” I muttered. “Why am I friends with him again?”

Lisa, stretching next to me, smirked. “Looks like you’ve got yourself a hockey cheer squad.”

“I didn’t think they were actually coming all the way to Cal U,” I mumbled, stomach doing a somersault that had nothing to do with swimming and everything to do with—

“Trust me, I’m glad they did,” Lisa said, nudging me. “Especially Atlas. Look around. All the girls were practically drooling.”

I glanced up, eyes scanning the crowd.

And yep, there it was.

A whole section of girls with wide eyes, glossy lips, and dreamy stares all aimed in the same direction: the Linchester hockey boys. Ford was tossing popcorn into his mouth like a frat god. Sam had sunglasses on inside. And Atlas?

He wasn’t looking at them.

He was looking at me.

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Chapter 48

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My lungs forgot how to do their job for a second. His eyes held mine, steady and warm, and I swore I could feel that look all the way to my toes.

A soft flutter started in my chest, wild and uninvited. I knew what it was, and I hated how giddy it made me.

Must have been leftover nerves from the hockey night situation.

Which was… intense.

And hot.

And involved me seeing the literal stars.

Not that I regretted it.

I mean… who would regret an orgasm?

He gave me a slow, almost shy smile, like the memory was dancing behind his eyes too.

Crap.

I smiled back before quickly looking away, cheeks flaming with awkward energy. My gaze conveniently landed on Howard. He waved with that boyish grin of his, and I returned it, grateful for the distraction.

I rolled my shoulders, jaw tight with nerves again. As much as I wanted to disappear into the pool and never resurface, I was grateful they came. All of them.

But now, all I had to do was make sure I didn’t mess up.

Because if I was going to fall today… it was going to be into the water, not in front of him.

****

Everyone was doing amazing.

But our girls?

They were absolutely crushing it.

I could see it all over Coach’s face, well, as much as he ever let it show. His lips were pressed into a firm line, but the way his arms were crossed just a little too tightly, and the barely-there nod he gave after each race, told me everything. He was proud.

And I was happy for them-truly.

But holy crap, the pressure was on.

If everyone was doing this good… I had to be flawless. No room for shaky dives or mistimed turns. One misstep and I’d be the girl who let Linchester down.

I shook my arms out and jumped lightly on the balls of my feet, trying to get the blood pumping and my

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Chapter 48

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nerves to shut up. My heartbeat was doing its own Olympic routine in my chest.

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Jazz turned to me with that ever-cheerful grin and gave me a wink. “Go show them who’s boss, Emmy bear.”

I exhaled through a laugh. “No pressure.”

Ford and the rest of the hockey guys lost their minds, literally screamed my name like they were at a rock

concert.

I smiled and stepped forward. The crowd blurred. My focus narrowed. Just me, the lane, and the girl standing to my right.

I glanced at her tall, strong, dark chocolate skin that glowed under the lights, muscles that screamed built for speed, and confidence radiating off her like perfume.

She turned slightly and gave me a smile.

Not smug.

Not mocking.

Just calm.

I returned it with the best version of a smile I could muster, tight and tiny, and nodded. My heart was thudding in my ears. I rolled my shoulders back, flexed my fingers once, twice, and whispered to myself,

“You’ve got this.”

The whistle blew.

I stepped forward, toes gripping the edge.

1…

2…

3…

The buzzer sounded.

I dove.

The water swallowed me whole, and everything else disappeared.

****

I tried my best.

My arms sliced through the water, legs kicking, heart thudding against my ribs like a drum. Every breath I took tasted like chlorine and adrenaline.

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Chapter 48

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Keep going. Just keep going.

But of course, that voice was back, the one that always whispered at the worst times.

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She’s fast. What if she’s ahead of you? What if you’re falling behind? What if everyone’s watching and thinking, “Told you she couldn’t handle the pressure”?

I blinked water from my eyes mid-stroke. Focus. Don’t listen.

What if you flop? What if your best isn’t enough?

I clenched my jaw and pushed harder. My lungs screamed. My shoulders burned. And the voice didn’t let up.

Imagine Coach’s face when you lose. That look… you know the one.

I gritted my teeth and kicked harder, arms churning through the last stretch. We were neck and neck—I could feel her presence beside me like a shadow. But then… nothing.

No splash.

Just the sound of my own heartbeat echoing in my skull.

I reached the wall with a final, desperate stretch and broke through the surface, gasping. Water ran down my face as I wiped my eyes, blinking rapidly toward the scoreboard.

Lane Four: 1st Place – Linchester.

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