I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 67

Chapter 67

Chapter 67

Emery’s POV

(67)

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My skin was still tingling. Like, physically tingling. From him. God. What the hell was I thinking?

If Howard hadn’t called when he did, I was ninety-nine percent sure my clothes would’ve ended up scattered somewhere across Atlas’s stupidly clean floor. And the worst part?

I wanted that call to come a minute later…Just one minute.

Just enough time for Atlas to lean in. To kiss me. To ruin me.

My body shivered at the thought, his lips, his hands, the sound of his voice telling me not to go. It echoed in my head like a freaking broken record, and I had to fight the urge to scream into my hands.

Stop, I yelled inwardly. Just. Freaking. Stop.

This was wrong. I was on a date. With a good guy. A really good guy who had done absolutely nothing wrong.

I scolded myself, sitting stiffly in the passenger seat, glancing sideways at Howard.

He was driving, one hand on the wheel, the other tapping lightly to the beat of the soft indie track playing through the speakers. His thumb danced to the rhythm against the leather, casual and calm. Like he had no idea I was staring.

And then… like he felt it, he turned.

A small smile tugged at his lips when our eyes met. Soft. Sweet. Uncomplicated.

Earlier, when he picked me up, he’d just about frozen on the doorstep. Like he couldn’t believe I was real. And that look in his eyes? Like I was the only girl in the world?

It made my stomach twist.

Not in the butterfly way.

In the guilt way. Because right now, all I could think about was someone else. No, I told myself firmly. Don’t do that. Don’t ruin this. Focus.

I crossed one leg over the other and forced a smile. “So,” I said, trying to keep my voice light, “can I ask where we’re going now, or is that top-secret intel?”

Howard chuckled, eyes still on the road. “No can do,” he said. “It’s a surprise, remember?”

I groaned dramatically and flopped my head against the seat. “I hate surprises. They keep me on edge.”

“As they should,” he teased, flashing me a quick grin. “But I’ll give you one hint…”

I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

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Chapter 67

“You’re gonna love it.”

He wasn’t kidding.

:

Because twenty minutes later, we pulled up in front of an actual freaking observatory.

My jaw dropped.

“No way.”

Howard grinned, parking the car like he hadn’t just blown my mind. “Surprise.”

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“Oh my God.” I turned to him, eyes wide. “Are you-this is-Howard… thank you.” I was so stunned I almost forgot to unbuckle my seatbelt.

He gave a sheepish shrug, his smile tugging wider. “Come on, nerd. Let’s go look at some stars.”

I followed him out of the car, practically vibrating with excitement.

Inside, the guide welcomed us and led the way up a curved staircase that opened into the domed room I’d only ever seen in documentaries. My mouth parted in awe as the ceiling slid open and the telescope angled upward like it was about to launch into space.

“Oh my gosh,” I whispered, turning in a slow circle. “This is insane.”

Howard was watching me, hands tucked in his pockets, looking slightly smug and a little nervous. “Cool, right?”

“Cool?” I blinked at him. “This is literally the coolest thing I’ve ever done on a date. I feel like I’m in a sci-fi movie. Or like… stardust royalty.”

He laughed. “That was the vibe I was going for, actually.”

We stepped up to the telescope, and the guide adjusted it for us to peek through. My heart pounded as I leaned in, and…

There it was.

A clear, glowing star. Flickering gently in the ink-dark sky. My breath caught in my throat.

I pulled back and looked at Howard. “You have to see this.”

He stepped up, peering into the lens, then let out a soft, “Whoa.”

Right? I smiled to myself, watching him take it in.

After the tour and some fun facts from the guide (which I mentally filed away like a total nerd), we made our way back outside.

The desert air was cool against my cheeks as we walked to his car, side by side. I had my arms wrapped around myself, not from the cold, but from the high of it all. The stars. The quiet. The way he looked at me.

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Chapter 67

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I stopped by the passenger side. “Thank you,” I said softly, turning to him. “For bringing me here. It means a lot.”

He leaned against the door, hands still in his pockets, his brown eyes warm. “I’m really glad you liked it.”

“I loved it.” I smiled, brushing my hair behind my car. “When I was little, my mom and I used to lie on the rooftop and stare at the stars for hours. She’d tell me all the stories behind the constellations, even made up a few of her own.”

Howard’s expression softened. “That’s really beautiful.”

I nodded, eyes lifting toward the sky again. “It was kind of our thing.”

He was quiet for a second. Then…”So… what’s your favorite star?”

That made me grin.

“Easy. Betelgeuse.”

His

eyes

widened. “Wait, isn’t that the guy from that creepy old movie?”

I laughed. “Yes, but also no. It’s a real star. It’s the red supergiant in the Orion constellation. Super massive. Like, if you swapped it with our sun, it would extend past Jupiter.”

Howard gave a slow blink. “You just said like… five things I barely understood. That’s kinda hot.”

I burst out laughing. “Wow. Flirting with astrology nerds. Bold move.”

“I aim to impress.” He winked. “Honestly, I barely remember half of what you just said, but you said it with so much passion, I was convinced.”

I chuckled lightly, and then we fell into a comfortable silence until curiosity got the better side of me and I just had to ask

“So… is this just a guess? Cause if it is, you’re one hell of a guesser,” I said, giving Howard a look as we walked toward his car.

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Damn, I wanna lie. Make you think I’m super cool and all, but nah, it wasn’t a lucky guess. I had some help… from Atlas.”

My steps slowed. “Atlas?” I repeated, my voice coming out softer than I intended.

“Yeah,” he said casually, unlocking the car. “I literally had to ask him. Heart pounding the whole time, by the way. You know how brothers can be. All scary and overprotective of their little sis.”

“Yeah…” I said again, but my mind had already checked out.

We got in the car, and as the engine hummed to life, so did the noise in my head.

Atlas.

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Chapter 67

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But… I’d never told him about the stars.

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Not once. Not even by accident. The words echoed in my head for what felt like forever. My lips parted slightly as the pieces started twisting and not quite fitting. Maybe Dad told Daisy, and maybe she mentioned it to Atlas?

Yeah. That had to be it.

Still, something gnawed at my insides as I picked up my phone, heart tapping an erratic beat. I typed out a quick message to Dad.

Me: Hi, Dad. Quick question, did you ever tell Atlas or Daisy about my love for stars?

The reply came almost immediately.

Dad: No, pumpkin. It’s crazy, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it. I should tell Dais, though. She’d love to see your baby pictures. Love you.

Me: lol okay. Love you too.

I stared at the screen, my fingers tightening around the phone.

Then how the hell did Atlas know?

“Emery?”

I blinked and looked up to see Howard staring at me, his brow furrowed slightly in concern. Crap. We were parked. At my apartment.

How long had I been spaced out?

“Sorry,” I said quickly, flashing my most believable I’m totally fine smile. “Just zoned out a bit.”

Howard nodded, stepping out and walking around to open my door like a total gentleman. I climbed out, the cool air brushing against my skin, but it wasn’t the cold that made me shiver.

“Thank you again for today,” I said honestly. “I had so much fun.”

He smiled, stepping a little closer. “I’m glad. I really am. I hope we can do this again sometime.”

“Yeah,” I breathed, lips tugging into a small smile.

Then… he leaned in.

My breath caught. My heart started slamming against my ribs like it was trying to escape my body.

He was going to kiss me.

And I should’ve let him. I should’ve leaned in. Should’ve closed my eyes. Should’ve kissed the sweet, thoughtful guy who took me to an observatory just because he knew I loved stars.

15:14 Tue, Dec 30

Chapter 67

But instead…

I panicked.

…

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