I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 79

Chapter 79

Chapter 79

Emery’s POV

“Awwwnnn,” Jazz squeaked, dragging the sound out like she was on a sugar high.

“Shhh!” Sam hissed, swatting at her.

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“I promised Ford I wouldn’t say anything,” she whispered dramatically, clearly enjoying herself way too much, “but you guys are my gees. I had to spill.”

Jazz grinned wide. “Well, look at Ford, playing matchmaker and all.”

“I know right? One of the many reasons I burn for him,” Sam said, fanning herself with her hand like she was about to swoon.

I sat there on the edge of the couch, half-listening, half-praying I wouldn’t throw up.

Apparently, the world really was small. Or maybe just cruel. Because not only had Atlas run into his gorgeous, K-pop-looking ex-girlfriend Mindy, but according to Sam, some mystery guy who’d gone to the same school as them had filled Ford in on everything, how Atlas and Mindy had been the it couple, how in love they were, how they even had matching tattoos.

And now, Ford being the thoughtful, meddling idiot he was, had decided tonight, at his party, he was going to rekindle their romance.

Yay.

“Em?” Jazz called gently, tugging me back to Earth.

I blinked and looked up, realizing I had totally zoned out. Again. “Yeah?”

Sam leaned in. “I asked What do you think? You know Atlas best… Do you think he’d want to get back with her?”

My chest tightened.

Yes? No? Scream into a pillow?

“I mean…” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, plastering the fakest smile I could find on my face. “If they had such an amazing relationship like you said, then…I see no reason why he wouldn’t.”

Sam sighed dreamily. “Maybe that’s why he hasn’t had a real relationship since. He couldn’t get over his first

love.”

“Okay, that’s some Nicholas Sparks level shit,” Jazz said.

I laughed. It sounded like a dying goat. “Yeah… who knew Atlas could be so romantic.”

“Welp,” Sam stood and clapped her hands together. “Operation: Bring the Lovebirds Back.”

15:19 Tue, Dec 30

Chapter 79

They laughed. I smiled again. This time, my cheeks hurt.

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It was finally time for Ford’s party. Aka Operation Bring Atlas and Mindy Back Together to Haunt Emery’s Life Forever.

My room looked like a clothing tornado had passed through. Clothes everywhere, shoes on the bed, accessories that didn’t match anything… and me standing in front of the mirror like a confused potato.

I didn’t want to dress too nice. Didn’t want anyone thinking I was trying too hard. Didn’t want Mindy thinking I was competing. Mostly… didn’t want Atlas to notice me and think anything.

So I chose a knotted orange top that hugged my chest and tied in the middle, paired with high-waisted denim shorts. My blonde hair fell in loose curls down my back, and I kept the makeup light.

I stared at myself.

“You can do this,” I whispered.

The smile I forced looked tense.

“Again.”

I tried again. A little better.

“There. Not too fake.”

I nodded and stepped out. And immediately bumped into a solid chest.

Atlas.

Of course.

He stood there in a gray shirt and shorts-simple, effortless, stupidly attractive. My heart did not care about my emotional stability whatsoever; it just started pounding like it was trying to escape my ribcage.

His eyes softened the second they landed on me.

I forced a bright smile, too bright, probably, and stepped around him quickly before he could say anything, before he could read me, before my voice cracked again.

“Hey…Em…” he started.

But I was already walking away, pretending I didn’t hear.

Pretending my heart wasn’t in

my

throat.

Pretending Atlas Lawson wasn’t everything I was trying not to want.

15:19 Tue, Dec 30

Chapter 79

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The party was just behind Ford’s beach house, and honestly? I had to give it to him, dude managed to pull off a full neon-glow, rave-on-steroids setup in less than twenty-four hours. Fairy lights everywhere, neon palm trees, glow sticks floating in the pool… it looked like a Dua Lipa music video had exploded all over his backyard.

“Leave it to Ford to throw a party,” Howard said, shaking his head like a proud, disappointed dad.

“Crazy,” Jazz breathed out, eyes wide as she took in the backyard like she’d just discovered Disneyland for the

first time.

“Okay, fam,” Ford announced, arms up like Moses parting the Red Sea. “We’ve got enough booze, pot, weed, whatever your heart desires!”

Sam squealed and jumped on Ford’s back. They cannonballed straight into the pool.

We all laughed as Ford resurfaced, shouting something about his shirt being designer, and Sam yelling back that he shouldn’t wear a designer to a glow party.

“Oh crap, I forgot the snacks in the dining room,” Jazz said.

“I’ll get it,” I volunteered a little too quickly. Anything to escape my own spiraling brain.

I walked back into the beach house, the music fading behind me. Just like Jazz said, the snacks were laid out neatly on the table. I reached for one of the trays…

Footsteps.

“You didn’t have to come over, I could-” I started, then froze.

Atlas…

My stomach flipped painfully. My heart did this stupid little jump, traitorous and loud.

“Do… do you need anything?” I asked, my voice not quite steady.

He shook his head, hands stuffing into his pockets as if he wasn’t sure what to do with them. “Thought you might need a hand.”

I nodded, forcing a smile. “Thanks.”

We started gathering the snacks, and of course, my mouth betrayed me.

“I, um… met Mindy yesterday. While jogging.”

I felt his eyes flick toward me.

“She’s really cool,” I added, trying to sound unbothered. Casual. Totally not dying inside.

“I don’t have feelings for her.”

My hands stilled. My face heated instantly, like someone slapped a heater to my cheeks.

15:10 Tue Dec 30

Chapter 79

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I managed to breathe out, “That’s not my business, Atlas. You can… You know… do whatever you want.”

He didn’t look away

“I know,” he said quietly “But I don’t want you having any misunderstanding”

He took the tray gently out of my hands, his fingers brushing mine, sending a spark straight to my stomach.

I swallowed once. Drice. My voice came out barely there.

“… it’s fine…”

He held the tray, eyes stayed on mine. “I still like you, Emery… You’re the one I think about.”

Then, just like that, he turned and walked out, heading back toward the neon chaos like he hadn’t just detonated a bomb inside my chest, I stood there, face flaming, hands useless at my sides, heart pounding so hard it felt like it was trying to escape my body and run after him.

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You’re the one I think about… I like you, Emery

You’re the one….

Stop

I told my brain, very politely, to shut the hell up…Naturally, it refused.

I tried…tried….to focus on small talk with Howard and Jazz, nodding, smiling, pretending to be a functional human being. But across the glowing pool, I could see Ford and Sam in full matchmaker mode, practically shoving Atlas and Mindy into the same conversation bubble,

And Mindy… of course, she looked gorgeous. Cute top, perfect hair, glowing skin…she was like the human version of Pinterest.

Atlas stood with her politely, but there was this space between them. A distance. And his eyes…god his eyes… they kept finding mine.

Every time he looked at me, it felt like he was repeating the same sentence he’d whispered earlier.

I’m thinking about you.

No. Nope. Block. Delete. Uninstall feelings.exe. I tore my gaze away, clearing my throat.

“Hey, you okay?” Howard leaned in, brows pinched with concern.

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