I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 84

Chapter 84

Chapter 84

Emery’s POV

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Once we finished breakfast, everyone stuffed and happy, we all pitched in to clean up the kitchen-Sam “helping” by mostly flirting with Ford while Jazz and I handled the actual dishes.

After the last dish was dried, I mumbled something about needing a nap and slipped out of the kitchen, heading for the stairs. I just wanted to hide in my room, scroll on my phone, and stop thinking for five minutes.

“Emery.”

I froze halfway up the first step, then turned. Howard was jogging toward me, that sweet, hopeful smile already on his face.

“Hey,” I said, forcing my own smile as he stopped in front of me.

“Hi,” he replied, grin widening like just seeing me made his whole morning better. “How are you feeling? Did you sleep okay?”

“Yeah, I did,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I feel a lot better. Thank you.”

His shoulders relaxed, relief clear in his eyes. “That’s good to hear. I was really worried about you yesterday.”

My chest tightened. I forced my smile wider, but inside my heart was twisting painfully. I’d made him worry, ditched him because I couldn’t handle my stupid jealousy, and then ended up in bed with Atlas while Howard was probably texting everyone to check on me. Guilt burned hot in my throat.

“Thank you,” I said softly, “but you don’t have to stress about me.”

“I want to,” he said immediately, face going serious, eyes steady on mine like he needed me to know he meant it.

I opened my mouth, scrambling for the right words, when footsteps echoed down the hall. I glanced over and saw Atlas heading our way. The second his eyes landed on us, the air shifted-thick, electric, a hundred degrees hotter in an instant.

He didn’t break stride, just gave me the smallest, softest smile that made my stomach flip, then clapped Howard on the shoulder with a casual “Hey, man” before disappearing into his room.

The hallway fell into this heavy, awkward silence.

Howard cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh… I’ll see you around, okay?”

I nodded, throat too tight to speak. “Yeah.”

He gave me one last lingering look, then turned and walked away.

I stood there watching him go, arms wrapped around my middle, heart pounding so hard I could hear it in

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Chapter 84

my ears.

What the hell was I doing?

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It was freaking 1 a.m., and I still couldn’t sleep.

I’d tried everything, counting sheep, counting numbers, even reciting random nonsense in my head like that would magically knock me out. Nope. Nothing. I tossed and turned like a rotisserie chicken for what felt like five straight hours before I finally gave up and sat up in bed, the blanket sliding down to my waist.

My eyes… traitors, absolute bitches, drifted to the one thing I had been craving all night.

My phone.

Don’t do it, Emery. Just go to sleep.

I should’ve listened. I really should have. The brain is supposed to be the smart one, right? The part that stops us from doing dumb things we’ll regret later. But let’s be honest, when the heart and the brain start beefing, the heart always wins.

My fingers moved on their own. Fast. Reckless. I scrolled through my contacts until I found his name.

My heart started pounding immediately.

Me: Hi.

The second I hit send, reality slapped me in the face.

What if he’s asleep?

Of course, he’s asleep.

It’s literally I a.m.

What the hell, Emery?

Panic kicked in. Full force. I deleted the message so fast my thumb almost cramped.

And then…

Three dots.

Oh.

My.

God.

Shit. He’s responding.

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Chapter 84

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My stomach dropped. My chest tightened. My brain screamed abort mission, but my fingers? Yeah, they didn’t get the memo.

Me: Sorry, I didn’t mean to delete that

Me: I thought you were asleep…

Me: I mean, it’s 1 am, of course, everyone would be asleep

Me: I have no idea why I’m even awake

Me: Good night

The three dots disappeared.

Gone.

I stared at my phone, mortified, flopping back onto my pillow and covering my face with both hands. “Way to go, Emery. You completely freaked him out.” The annoying-but-always-right voice in my head chimed in, smug as hell.

I lay there staring at the white ceiling, wishing I could evaporate. Or rewind time. Or crawl into a hole and never text anyone again for the rest of my life.

I was just about to dramatically accept my fate…

Ding.

My phone buzzed. I moved so fast I nearly fell off the bed, yanking the blanket with me as I grabbed my phone, heart slamming against my ribs like it was trying to escape.

Please don’t be awkward.

Please don’t be awkward.

Please don’t…

Atlas: Can I come over?

I reread the message like ten times, blinking hard, waiting for it to magically change. But no. He actually texted that. Then it hit me…he must be waiting for my response.

Me: Sure.

Sent.

I tried to fight the smile tugging at my lips, but it was pointless. Why the hell am I smiling? He just wants to come over… a friendly conversation, that’s all. No big deal.

Still… I bolted to the bathroom like it was a crime scene. Snatched my mouthwash, swished and spat like I was prepping for a goddamn toothpaste commercial, then grabbed my favorite perfume. Spritzed once…twice…

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Chapter 84

Okay, maybe five times.

I caught my reflection and froze.

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Makeup? Nah. That’s… too much. I mean, he’s literally seen my orgasm faces. What would a little mascara fix

now?

Still, I dabbed my cheeks. Just in case.

Knock knock.

I jumped. My heart did a full nosedive. Clearing my throat and praying my heart would stop trying to break out of my chest, I opened the door…

And my heart? It tripled in speed.

Because standing there was Atlas, looking hot as hell. How was this man so gorgeous at I am in the freaking morning and I looked like a puffed fish. I didn’t even try to hide the way I was checking him out. He was wearing a maroon shirt and gray PJs pants, his hair extra tousled like he’d been tossing in bed. It made me wonder if he’d been up thinking about me too.

God, focus.

“Hi,” he said with a smile that showed off his stupidly perfect dimples.

My cheeks flushed instantly. I probably looked like a human fire extinguisher.

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