Mated to Her Alpha Instructor (Eileen and Regis) novel Chapter 11

11

Felled by the other and grosser love.
the idea of fated mates—generally an aging we like fall like
Tracht night? A warm body to cling to while his griefs faded one out.

I lay by the fox end to my bed, curling up on my side. The one comparison mature was already starting to wear off, cold sweat
dripping back in, mixing with my own chamomile like they belonged there.

They’re lies, I told myself firmly. We don’t belong together. He’s probably already forgotten. And even if he hasn’t, he’ll regret it the moment he realizes what I am.

I touched the mark one more time, feeling that pulse of warmth, that whisper of mine that seemed to echo from somewhere deep in my chest.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to the empty room, to the stranger whose name I didn’t know, to the bond I was too afraid to acknowledge. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I…”

He’ll find me. I can’t let you see what I really am.

Because if he did, if he looked at me with those ice-blue eyes in the clear light of day and saw the truth—saw the wolfless girl who saved his life and then let him mark her like it meant something—he’d turn away. They always did.

Better to hide, better to pretend it never happened. Better to let the bond fade, if it even could, than to watch him realize his mistake.

I closed my eyes, but sleep wouldn’t come. Instead, I lay there in the darkness, feeling the mark pulse against my neck and trying not to think about the way he looked at me in the moonlight, like I was something precious.

The weekend passed in a blur of avoidance and anxiety. I spent most of Saturday in the library, buried in textbooks I didn’t need to read, just to stay away from the others and this worried crowd. The scent-dampening mixture worked, but I had to reapply it every few hours, and each time I did, I felt like a fraud. Like I was hiding something shameful.

By Monday morning, I was exhausted, strung out on too little sleep and too much anxiety. I dressed carefully, making sure the scarf was in place, the mixture applied liberally to every pulse point. In the mirror, I looked almost normal. Tired, but normal.

I could do this. I could get through one day of classes, keep my head down, avoid Derek and his friends, and pretend that everything was fine.

I was almost out the door when Mira caught me.

“Why?” The question sprang from her as she was heading in from her—

The words hung in my mind. Her face scrunched up apologetically—we both knew I wouldn’t have received it if the opportunity was present, by the way she always did when reminded of the unfairness I faced daily. Starting today, all healing track students have to take—

My chopped, “What? Why?”

The training grounds were on the far edge of campus, a massive open space ringed by stone benches and protected by ancient wards. By the time we arrived, it was already crowded, at least a hundred healing track students milling around, chattering excitedly.

“His wolf form is massive,” someone was saying. “Like, bigger than any Alpha anyone’s ever seen.”

“And his eyes—apparently they’re this incredible ice-blue color. Like moonlight on snow.”

Ice-blue.

My heart stopped. No. No, it couldn’t be. It was just a coincidence. Lots of Alphas had blue eyes. It didn’t mean anything.

“Come on.” Mira grabbed my arm, pulling me toward the back of the crowd. “Let’s find a spot before—oh wow, is that him?”

The crowd had gone quiet, parting like a wave as a figure emerged from the shadows at the far end of the training ground.

I kept my head down, pretending to adjust my scarf, my heart hammering so hard I thought it might break through my ribs.