My Cheating Mate (Emma and Jeremy) novel Chapter 34

Chapter 34

My Cheating Mate

Emma pov

The words on the page blurred together for the third time in as many minutes. I wasn’t really reading anymore–just staring at the same paragraph, my mind replaying the same circular thoughts I’d been having for weeks.

I love him.

He hurt me.

I love him.

He betrayed me.

I love him.

But is love enough?

Jeremy shifted in his sleep, a small sound of discomfort escaping his lips. Without thinking, I reached over and adjusted his pillow, smoothing the blanket across his chest. His face relaxed, the lines of pain easing.

This was becoming routine. Natural. Like the six months we’d been mated before everything fell apart, except different. More conscious. Every touch, every gesture was a choice I was actively making rather than an instinct I was following.

And that terrified me.

Because choosing to care for him meant choosing to be vulnerable again. Choosing to risk the same devastation I’d barely survived the first time.

My phone buzzed. A text from Aria: “Coffee break? You’ve been in that hospital room for 6 hours.”

Had it been six hours? I glanced at the clock. She was right.

“Can’t. He’s supposed to wake up soon for physical therapy,” I typed back.

“Em, the nurses can handle that. You don’t have to be there for everything.”

But I did. Or at least, I felt like I did. Every time I tried to leave, every time considered taking a day away, I remembered the panic in Jeremy’s eyes when he woke and didn’t immediately see me.

I remembered my own panic when I’d thought he might die.

“I know. Tomorrow, I promise.”

r

I set the phone down and looked at Jeremy–really looked at him. Five days of consciousness, and he already looked better. Color returning to his face. The monitors showing stronger vitals. Dr. Reeves was optimistic about moving him out of ICU by the end of the week.

He was healing. Physically, at least.

But what about everything else? What about the betrayal that still sat like a stone in my chest? What about the image of him with Vanessa that I couldn’t quite erase from my mind?

What about the fact that even after three months of separation, even after dissolving our bond, I’d still thrown myself in front of a silver blade for him?

“You’re thinking too loud,” Jeremy’s voice, rough with sleep, startled me. His eyes were open, watching me with that intense focus that made me feel exposed.

Chapter 94

+25 BONUS

“How long have you been awake?” I asked, setting my book aside.

“Few minutes. You looked so lost in thought, didn’t want to interrupt.” He shifted, trying to sit up more, and winced. “Can you

I was already moving, adjusting the bed controls to raise him to a better angle. “Better?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” His hand found mine, thumb brushing across my knuckles. “Emma, we should talk. Really talk. Not just me waking up and asking if you’re still here.”

My stomach twisted. “You need to focus on healing-

“I need to focus on us.” His grip tightened slightly. “Because you’re here, holding my hand, caring for me. But I can see it in your eyes–the doubt, the fear, the hurt. And I need you to know that I understand. That I don’t expect you to just forget what I did.”

“I can’t forget,” I said quietly. “I’ve tried. But every time I close my eyes, I see you with her. I hear your voice saying you never loved me. I remember planning to use me and throw me away.”

Jeremy flinched like I’d hit him. “I know. And I have no excuse for any of it. No justification that makes it acceptable.”

“Then why?” The question burst out before I could stop it. “Why did you do it? If you knew it was wrong, if you knew it would hurt me, why?”

He was quiet for a long moment, his eyes distant. “Because I was selfish. Because I’d spent my whole life planning a future with Vanessa, and when the mate bond chose you instead, I felt… robbed. Like the Moon Goddess had taken away my choice.”

Each word was a fresh cut, but I’d asked for honesty. I couldn’t flinch from it now.

“So you punished me for it,” I said. “For being chosen when you wanted someone else.”

“Yes.” The admission came out as barely a whisper. “And that’s unforgivable, Emma. I took out my resentment on someone who’d done nothing wrong. Someone who was just trying to love me.”

Tears stung my eyes. “I did love you. So much. I tried so hard to be the perfect mate, to make you happy, to be enough—‘

“You were always enough!” Jeremy’s voice cracked with emotion. “Emma, you were everything. Kind, patient, supportive, beautiful. Everything a mate should be. The problem was never you. It was me. I was too stupid and stubborn to see what I had until I’d destroyed it.”