Chapter Thirty:
Julie’s point of view
Her words were like a military order, stripping me of my last fortresses.
I looked at her with clouded eyes, the bedsheet in my hands feeling as if it weighed tons.
Behind this fabric lay not just my body, but the remnants of my modesty and pride that Robert was systematically crushing.
The sheet slipped from my hands, hitting the floor with a cold thud. I instinctively crossed my arms over my chest, desperately trying to create a new shroud out of my own flesh and blood to shield me from her gaze.
But the doctor didn’t grant me a single moment to catch my breath; she spoke in a dry, commanding tone:
"Take off your underwear as well."
I extended my trembling hand, which felt leaden, my joints stiff and rusted as if in need of oil just to move.
The effort to reach my back was unbearable, as if I were lifting mountains of shame and agony.
I unfastened my bra with bitter slowness, stripping it away in a motion heavy with brokenness like a soul being flayed from its bone.
Then, I reached for the last piece that covered what remained of my dignity, shedding it with broken deliberation, just as a tree sheds its leaves in a desolate autumn, left entirely naked before the wind.
I stood there, stripped of everything, feeling the chill of the room gnaw at my skin and the doctor’s gaze piercing me as if I were a mere object on display for inspection, not a soul bleeding with shame and cruelty.
The doctor approached, and I felt her coldness like an icy wall closing in. She began staring at me in a strange, haunting way, then circled behind me to examine every inch of my trembling body.
Though I couldn’t see her, I felt her gaze piercing my skin like heated needles. She returned to stand before me, and after a heavy silence, spoke in a dry, evaluative tone:
"There are no deformities or scars... your body is as clear as a drop of water."
Her praise felt like the foulest insult I had ever received; she spoke of me as if I were a diamond being graded for quality before a sale, not a human being standing before her, shattered and exposed.
Then, she spoke with a professional coldness that killed my remaining resolve:
"Lie on the bed... move your legs to the edge and open them wide, so I can examine your virginity."
Her words struck my naked body like a whip. She demanded the very position that robs a woman of her dignity, leaving her entirely vulnerable.
I felt the ground shake beneath my feet; the examination was no longer a mere inspection of clear skin; it had become the violation of my last sanctuary, my most private secret all under the shadow of Robert’s threat lurking behind the door.
I walked with heavy steps, my feet feeling like solid blocks of unyielding cement.
I lay on that bed, which suddenly transformed into a forest of thorns pricking my naked flesh.
I tried to open my legs as ordered, but my deep-seated instinct of modesty forced me to do the opposite; I clamped them shut with desperate strength, as if closing the last gates of my ruined fortress.
The room filled with the sound of snapping rubber gloves a sickening sound that announced the beginning of the end.
She approached, gripped my knees with her cold hands, and forced them wide with a dry, professional strength.
"Like this, Julie... keep them this way," she said.
I squeezed my eyes shut, turning my head aside as a scorching tear escaped, its bitter saltiness lingering on my lips.
Then, suddenly... I felt a sharp, invading sting deep inside. She had inserted her finger to examine my hymen that veil which, despite Robert’s public contempt for it, he knew very well increased my market value in the eyes of his filthy clients.
I didn’t feel the physical pain as much as I felt my soul being dragged and violated in the most hideous way possible.
Never in my worst nightmares did I imagine reaching this level of humiliation: lying naked on a strange bed, legs spread wide, while a doctor’s finger searched my vitals to determine my "quality."
I began to whisper to myself in a daze, trying to detach from this hideous reality:
"It’s okay, Julie... this is just a nightmare... I’ll wake up soon... it’s just a nightmare..."
She finally withdrew her finger, and with that movement, I felt as if my soul had been pulled out entirely.

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