Later, doctor shift, Lily to private ward and then David got chances to see her.
David entered the private ward with caution. The gentle beeps emanating from the equipment in the room contrasted with the silence. His eyes found her, lying in the hospital bed with her pale skin, unmoving, her mouth parched, her arm extended weakly by her side.
He froze. He had trouble breathing. He swallowed, his throat closing. He took another step, his heart throbbing in his chest. He had seen her hurt before, but never like this. He had never seen her injured in such a way, not this fragile, not this lifeless.
He moved the chair closer and sat down beside her. Reaching out with his shaky hand, he pushed a few strands of hair away from her forehead. Her skin was cold to the touch, and he could feel his heart ache.
“Lily…” he breathed, his voice just barely intact. “Why would you do this to yourself?”
There was no response, only the gentle beeping of the monitor.
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and buried his face in his hands, taking a moment to collect himself. He was not supposed to lose control, not him. But seeing her in such a manner brought down every wall he had constructed around his heart.
“Just… wake up,” he murmured, his gaze on her again. “Please, Lily. I’ll do anything. Just open your eyes.”
His words hung in the air, unanswered. The longer he sat there, the stronger his feelings of guilt grew.
He recalled what she had looked like before scared, exhausted, and alone. He could have picked up on that. He could have stopped her.
He reached out for her hand once more, gripping it firmly, afraid that if he loosened his grasp, he might lose her altogether.
Roy quietly appeared with a bottle of water in his hands, observing his boss in silence. He had never seen David like this, so helpless and broken. However, he did not utter any words. He just put the water down on the table and moved back, giving his boss his moment with her.
David did not even look up. He kept his gaze on Lily. “You scared me,” he muttered. “You scared me so much…” The beeps of the machines were the only indications that she was in the room, was still fighting.
David's fingers were trembling as he reached out with slow movements, touching her stomach gently with his hand. He was holding his breath, his eyes closed, his body motionless. There was a baby growing inside her, their baby.
The truth penetrated his mind, and he was impacted in a way nothing ever had. He had just learned she was pregnant, and suddenly the world seemed to have come to a standstill. He gazed at her closed face, then his own palm nestled lightly on her abdomen, his chest contracting with pain.
Truthfully, he had never, even for a fleeting moment, considered having a kid with Lily. He had experienced so much rage, bitterness, and silence with her.
When he had learned Marina was pregnant with his child, he hadn’t experienced anything even vaguely related to what he was feeling now. He had experienced guilt, maybe even responsibility, but he hadn’t experienced what he was feeling. He hadn’t experienced the trembling, raw, physical sensations he was feeling now.


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