Pursuing My Rejected Luna by Cara Anderson novel Chapter 107

Chapter 107

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Thoughts of last night assault me the minute I rouse from sleep. A huge smile stretches across my face as I remember how it felt to be held in Nicolai’s arms while he eased the hormone spike that hit me out of nowhere.

I should be embarrassed, humiliated, mortified right now. Instead, I just feel… sated. Content in a way I haven’t felt in a very long time.

I stretch my heavy limbs but I’m not surprised when I don’t feel him next to me. I knew he wouldn’t stay. He said

it didn’t have to mean anything and I know he meant it. Him staying could make me feel pressured and he would never do that. But what if I want it to mean something?

Baby Benji kicks, breaking me out of my thoughts, and I press my hand to my belly automatically,

“I know,” I whisper. “I feel it too.”

Nicolai admitted the threat is gone. I could pack my bags and leave today. Call my father, return to Greenwood River Pack and resume the careful, quiet life I was building there.

The thought makes my chest ache. When did this happen? When did Nicolai’s home become my home?

When did his presence become the thing that makes me feel safe? Not just physically safe-though that too-but safe in the deeper way. Safe to be exactly who I am without performing or shrinking or bracing for disappointment.

I know the answer.

Gradually. Then all at once.

But then darker thoughts creep in and I find Tatiana’s shadow won’t leave me alone. I lie in the dark and let myself think about her properly.

Beautiful. Sophisticated. She moves through Nicolai’s world like she was made for it-which she was. Daughter of a powerful ally, raised in the same circles, familiar with the darkness and the power and the morally grey necessity of it all.

She’s also not six months pregnant with another man’s child. Not freshly divorced. Not still flinching from three years of emotional damage. Not complicated and messy and broken in the specific way I’m broken.

Whatever was between them ended long ago, Dimitri said. She just hasn’t accepted it. And even Nicolai said You’re the only woman I want under my roof.

But can I trust that? Can I trust my own judgment after Jaxon? I believed Jaxon loved me. Believed his distance was temporary, that I could earn my way through to him if I just tried hard enough.

I was wrong for three years. What if I’m wrong again? What if Nicolai is kind and protective and says the right things and I convince myself it’s more than it is? What if I confuse gratitude for love?

Benji kicks again, hard, right under my ribs.

“Ow.” I shift position. “I know you’re impatient. So am I.”

I haul myself out of bed and through my morning routine, then head to breakfast with Nicolai per our now well- established routine. I find him waiting for me as he does every morning with my tea already made and a plate full of more food than I’ll ever eat sitting at what has become my spot.

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He doesn’t comment on last night when I sit down, doesn’t act as if anything is different between us at all. Still, I Could swear there is a wariness in his eyes when he looks at me and I can’t decide if it’s because he’s afraid to scare me off, or afraid that now we’ve crossed that line, I’ll want more than he’s ready to give.

I hope it’s the former, but I still don’t trust myself when it comes to reading men. So I resist the urge to broach the subject, to tell him how amazing last night was for me and that I want more. Want him

Instead, I decide to watch Nicolai more carefully over the next few days. Not anxiously. Not trying to catch him in something. Just… observing. Paying attention in a way I couldn’t before because I was too busy healing.

I watch him with pack members-firm when he needs to be, fair always. He listens before deciding. Asks questions. Takes information from unexpected sources and weighs it honestly.

I watch him handle business-meetings with men who make my skin prickle with unease, conversations about territory and enforcement and things that don’t bear examining too closely. He’s ruthless in these moments, Completely without sentimentality.

But he’s also honorable.

I see it in small ways. A deal he could exploit but doesn’t. A weaker pack he could absorb but instead offers protection to on fair terms. A debt that’s owed to him that he quietly forgives when he learns the circumstances behind it.

Ruthless when necessary. Honorable always. And with me-Gentle. Patient. Respectful in a way that still surprises me sometimes.

I see him with other women. Staff who adore him. The female wolf who delivers correspondence from neighboring territories. A visiting Luna from a southern pack. There’s nothing to spark my jealousy in any of their interactions. Just professional politeness. Warmth without heat.

“I know. Dimitri told me.” Something tightens in Nicolai’s expression. “I’m sorry. I should have managed her arrival better.”

“What did she say to you? After I left dinner?” I have a feeling I don’t want to hear it but I think I need to.

Nicolai pauses and his face says he doesn’t want to answer me. For a moment, I’m not sure he will. But then he speaks.

“That you’re broken. Used. That I deserve better.” His voice is flat but honest, just reciting the facts. “She’s wrong on all counts.”

The bluntness of it-no softening, no hedging-does something to my chest. He doesn’t try to hide the truth from me or treat me like I’m too fragile to handle it. And that means the world to me.

But I can’t deny the part of me that wonders…

Maybe Tatiana is right.

Cara Anderson

Author

Thank you for reading!

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