Chapter 454
XENOIS
“That sounds healthy and emotionally intelligent,” Lumina said approvingly.
‘I have my moments,” I said.
My phone buzzed again. Another message. I braced myself for more bad news.
But this time it was from Alpha Chen. Not withdrawing, but explaining. His elder council had pressured him to leave the coalition, but he’d managed to negotiate a compromise. He would maintain informal cooperation-sharing intelligence, coordinating on specific threats-without formal coalition membership.
It was something. Not as good as full membership, but better than complete isolation.
I showed Lumina the message. “Maybe we can salvage this. Convert formal coalition into informal networks. Cooperation without official structure. Harder to target that way.”
“Harder to coordinate too,” she pointed out.
“Better than nothing,” I said.
Over the next hour, three more alphas reached out with similar compromises. They couldn’t maintain public coalition membership without elder council revolt, but they could work with us privately. Share information, coordinate responses, support each other without official acknowledgment.
It was messier than the structured alliance we’d been building. More complicated, harder to manage, vulnerable to miscommunication and trust issues.
But it was survival.
“We’re adapting,” I said, updating our alliance roster to reflect the new reality. “Eight formal allies, four informal cooperators, four complete withdrawals. Not ideal, but workable.”
“And we learned something valuable,” Lumina added. “That elder councils are a vulnerability. That traditional power structures can be exploited to undermine progressive leadership. Jerome figured that out before we did.”
“So we need to address it,” I said. “Find ways to work with elder councils instead of around them. Bring them into discussions, address their concerns, prove that progress doesn’t mean abandoning tradition entirely.”
“That’s going to be complicated,” Lumina warned.
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“Everything is complicated,” I said tiredly. “Being alpha during a regional conspiracy while trying to maintain progressive policies while building coalitions while adopting a stepbrother while raising three five-year-olds is complicated. We just keep adding complications to the pile and hoping we can manage them all.”
“Very inspiring leadership speech,” Lumina said dryly.
“I’m too tired for inspiring right now,” I admitted. “I’m settling for functional.”
She moved around the desk and wrapped her arms around me from behind, her chin resting on my shoulder. “You’re doing well. Better than well. You’re holding everything together through circumstances that would break most alphas.”-
“I have help,” I pointed out. “You, Zade, my parents, our allies. I’m not doing this alone.”
“No,” she agreed. “But you’re the one coordinating it all. The one making final decisions, taking ultimate responsibility. That’s exhausting, and you’re allowed to acknowledge it.”
I leaned back into her embrace, letting myself take a moment to just be held. To not be Alpha Xenois with all the weight that title carried, but just Xenois. Tired, worried, trying his best.
“I miss Xena,” I said quietly. “I know that’s not relevant to current crises, but I miss her. And having Shawn here-it’s good, and I’m genuinely glad my parents are helping him. But it also reminds me that she’s gone. That we have a new family member because we lost the one we had.”
“That’s okay,” Lumina said gently. “You’re allowed to miss your sister. Allowed to have complicated feelings about Shawn’s adoption. Those feelings don’t make you a bad person or a bad brother. They make you human.”
“I’m trying to be welcoming,” I said. “Trying to give Shawn space and support and acceptance. But part of me is also mourning, and those emotions don’t always play nicely together.”
“Then mourn,” Lumina said simply. “Miss Xena. Grieve her loss. And separately, welcome Shawn. Those don’t have to be either-or emotions. You can hold both.”
I turned to look at her. “How are you always so wise?”
“Practice,” she said. “Also therapy. So much therapy after the twins were born and everything that happened. I learned a lot about holding conflicting emotions simultaneously.”
“Should I go to therapy?” I asked.
“Probably,” she said honestly. “Most alphas should. The amount of pressure and responsibility you’re under-professional support would be beneficial.”
“I’ll add it to the list,” I said. “Right after ‘stop regional conspiracy,’ ‘maintain coalition,’ ‘raise children,’ and ‘bond with new
stepbrother.”
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“Don’t forget ‘sleep occasionally’ and ‘cat regular meals,” Lumina added.
“Those are on the list too, I assured her. “Just very low priority.”
“We’re working on that,” she said. “But one crisis at a time.”
My phone buzzed again. I glanced at it and felt relief flood through me.
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