Screw My Childhood Sweetheart His Alpha Brother Marked Me First novel Chapter 89

Anson shifted on his feet. “I’m still not used to everything here, but that piece of things doesn’t bother me so much.”

“Because you’re a guy,” I muttered.

He brushed the hair out of my face. “Hey, you don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. You can change, and we can just work on hand–to–hand today.”

I shook my head. “I need to learn how to shift, right?”

“A healthy relationship with your wolf is the most important thing you’ll foster in all of this. It took me almost a year. Shifting was so entangled with finding out my father wasn’t who I thought he was, and the anger I had about all of that. It took a lot of work to make peace with my wolf.”

My fingers twisted in Anson’s T–shirt. “I can’t imagine how hard that must’ve been.”

“It wasn’t a walk in the park, but it taught me a lot too.”

“Like what?”

“Anger can be fuel if used in the right way, you just have to know the power behind it.”

I released my hold on Anson. “Tell me what to do.”

He took a step back. “Do you remember at all what it felt like to shift?”

“It hurt.” Flashes of memory swept through me. “It all happened so fast. Vaughn was injured and I panicked: I wasn’t trying to shift, it just happened.”

“Heightened emotions are often what can bring about your first change. Over time, it’ll be as easy as breathing, and you’ll barely have to think about it.”

“But when I’m just getting started?”

“Close your eyes.”

I did as Anson instructed, letting my hands fall to my sides.

“Take some deep breaths and clear your mind. Listen to the wind in the trees. Now, picture the life force inside you. Your

wolf.”

I tried to imagine an actual wolf. Caspian had mentioned my fur was a reddish brown color, just like my hair. I tried to paint that picture inside me but wasn’t sure I had it entirely.

“Now, meld your energy with hers. See your forms blurring together.”

I did my best. Seeing in my mind the way the guys seemed to blur as they shifted. Nothing happened.

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Screw My Childhood Sweetheart–His Alpha Brother Marked Me First!

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Chapter 89

I cracked open an eyelid. “I’m doing something wrong.”

Anson studied me for a moment. “Do you feel your wolf at all?”

I thought about it, taking a mental inventory of how my body felt. It didn’t feel as though some foreign creature was going to burst forth from my being. “I don’t think so.”

Footsteps sounded behind me. “I think it might need to work differently for her.”

I turned towards River. “How?”

“Your gift and mine are similar. I needed to lock onto an energy or a feeling to bring on my change. What do you feel when you use your gift?”

I thought back to healing Vaughn. Nausea swept through me at the memory, but I forced myself to go there. “I kept picturing this pool of golden energy here.” I touched my hand to my stomach. “It was like I could push that energy into Vaughn.”

“Perfect.” River dropped back to where Anson was standing. “Picture that spreading over you until it consumes you.”

I nodded, closing my eyes again. I drew on that golden pool, dragging it out from my belly and letting it grow. It was a million times harder than I remembered. My hands fisted at my sides, nails digging into my palms. The light spread over the majority of my torso as sweat broke out on my brow.

The energy snapped back into its little pool in my belly, and my eyes popped open.

River sent me an encouraging smile. “That was better. We could see the start of a shift coming on.”

“It felt like I was battling a boulder up a mountain.”

Anson chuckled. “It’s rough at first. It’ll get easier, I promise. You just have to find the right fuel.”

The sound of a twig snapping had all our gazes jumping to the forest. River sighed. “Come help instead of lurking like a

creeper.”

Vaughn stepped out of the trees, scowling as usual.

“You know,” I muttered, “if you keep making that face, it could freeze like that.”

His scowl only deepened.

My back teeth ground together. “If you hate me so much, why are you even here?”

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