The Billionaire’s Fight For Redemption (Noah and Sierra) novel Chapter 398

A humorless chuckle leaves her lips. “I didn’t and fuck am I tired.”

I frown slightly. Mom never curses so if she is, then things were bad.

My hand instinctively reaching for hers, “What happened? Is it everything from yesterday?”

She shakes her head, then pauses like she’s trying to find the right words, “My dreams were haunted by memories. Things I haven’t thought about in ages.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask gently.

She lets out a long breath, her gaze dropping to where our hands are joined.

“I kept remembering about all the anger I carried,” she admits quietly. “All the hate I held onto for so long and now I realize I spent all those years hating a man who was already dead.”

Her voice cracks slightly.

“I was so hurt back then that there were times I wished the worst on him. I remember praying that karma would catch up to him… that he would suffer, that he would feel the same pain he caused me.” She lets out a shaky laugh, one that doesn’t hold any real humor. “I wished he’d die a painful deal and all that time he was already gone. And he did suffer and die a painful death.”

A tear slips down her cheek, and I tighten my hold on her hand, bringing it between both of mine, before placing a soft kiss.

“I know I was hurting, but how can I claim to love someone while wishing him the worst?” She asks, her voice shaking, “What kind of person does that make me?”

“You didn’t know, Mom,” I say softly. “You can’t blame yourself for something you didn’t know.”

She nods slowly. “I know that, but it doesn’t make the guilt go away. It doesn’t erase all the things I thought and all the terrible things I wished.”

I squeeze her hand gently. “You loved him. That’s where all that pain came from. It doesn’t make you a bad person,it just makes you human… Remember you told me the same thing when I was hurting and wished Noah would get hit by a truck or something?”

She chuckles a bit, “The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, does it?”

I give her a small smile, “No it doesn’t but bottom line is we are human beings and we do and say the craziest and hurtful things when we are hurt.”

She looks at me then, really looks at me, and for a moment I see something soften in her eyes.

“When did you get so wise?” She teases.

“Probably when you threatened to bash my head in if I didn’t get my act together,” I grin, “I should report you to the cops or something.”

It’s one of my fondest memories when we were away. Mom got frustrated and threatened me right in front of my therapist. It was the first time in weeks that I cracked a smile.

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