The Eclipsed Life of Luna Mischa (by Jennifer Francis) novel Chapter 203

+25 Points

Ch 203

Anthony

He struggled to breathe for many minutes as the pain lingered with him and wouldn’t let up, and had to dash those tears away more than once to continue reading. But he forced himself to sit there now because he knew that Shade was right; they had to suffer through it and read the rest. It had been a horrible moment for him that day, to know she didn’t want him.

But he had to know how it was for her, all of it, no matter how hard it was to read. She’d just slid down the wall and hugged herself and sat there and cried, unable to pull herself together, over all the emotions she was feeling about what had just transpired for her, she knew she was never going to allow it to happen ever again, had hated every second of it, and then she had latched right onto Paul the moment he connected to her, and allowed him to calm her down.

It had taken some time before she’d gotten up and made her way to the bathroom to shower, where she had scrubbed herself clean. They were the very words she’d written, ‘scrubbed herself clean’. It was to her like she was a victim of a sexual assault. Only he, her Goddess-Gifted Mate, was the perpetrator, not some stranger without a face or name to be put to it. Her own Mate, who was supposed to love, cherish and protect her from all forms of harm.

His hands left the book, and he felt pain rip through his own wolf as Shade howled inside his mind at how they’d made her feel. No Mate should ever harm their Mate and this was the worst kind of harm one could do, but for three years, that was all they’d ever done, harming her bit by bit until she thought them touching her was completely abherrent to her, and their touch made her feel disgusting and unclean, so much so she had to scrub herself clean to rid the scent of them from her.

Then Christy had induced her heat and that very thing had been what made Mischa actually laugh and snap out of that dark place she’d gone to, because she knew it was only one bout for her; her heat was over, yet Christy now had to suffer through all that pain and agony of an aggressive heat and being over mated by him for eight for nine days and all because she was a selfish bitch that wanted to claim Mischa’s place inside the pack.

He sat there and stared at nothing, his mind kind of blank as the true realization of all the harm and damage he’d done to Mischa and Laud hit him in full. He was not a loving, caring Mate as he liked to state, as he knew he portrayed himself to his allies and no more could he blame it all on Christy and he knew it.

That event, Mischa’s heat; it had nothing to do with Christy at all. What had transpired that day was all his own doing, her pain and fear, her disgust. It was all on him because that heat she’d had, he could have let her run off, and be mated by another. He’d seen her not want it to be him, knew it was what she truly wanted, for it to be anyone but him.

But even seeing her like that; freaked out and shaking her head no, he still chose to ignore her, when he could have suffered the pains of betrayal for her to save her from more post-traumatic stress and feeling like her own Mate had assaulted her, but he hadn’t.

He could siso have pushed her into a vacant suite and closed the door, stayed out of the room and just let her surfer one bout alone, yet he’d not. He’d not even considered any of them as options at the time, and why? Because he knew deep down inside he was not willing to suffer the pains of betrayal, even for her, when he knew it was best for her, he’d chosen himself over Mischa.

<Ch 203

+25 Points

Because he was a selfish bastard, and he knew that he had wanted to mate her through her heat, he had Intended on using it to bring them back together to start to regrow their bond, to assure she would stay

there in the pack. He’d even hoped her birth control would falter, and the Goddess would see Mischa getting pregnant. He’d intended on knotting himself to her or each and every bout she had, to try and conceive an heir so she could never leave him, would be forever bound to him by their child; the heir to the pack.

What he had done, instead of seeing and accepting she didn’t want him, was to ignore it all and latch onto her, dragged her into a room, and he knew it was that as it played inside his mind right now. He had dragged her into that room, and he had mated her even though he knew after seeing her reaction, without a doubt she didn’t want that; he still did that to her. He couldn’t blame anyone bar himself for that, it was

all him.

It was no wonder she wanted to be away from him, no wonder she’d kind of just stayed out of sight and avoided him from that moment onwards. He’d actually physically harmed his own Goddess-Gifted Mate, taken her against her will for his own wants and needs, uncaring of how it would make her feel, and then what had he done!

Gone right back to Christy like he always did, and by the time he’d come out of Christy’s heat, he’d let go of what he’d done to Mischa and Laud, rolled it off as if it was just him attending to her heat, a regular part of their mate bond and nothing more, when deep down inside he knew it wasn’t that at all.

Because he did see it, deep down inside he could see her leaving him. How could he not with all that had gone on? He’d been trying to find a way to contain her, cagé her inside this pack, and the only way he saw that happening was if she had the heir to the pack, she’d never take his child from him and he knew it.

She, he knew, had closed herself off to what he’d done as well. It was written right there in her diary, she’d turned it inside her mind into something that just needed to happen to get Christy to induce her own heat. Refused to acknowledge it, but she’d never had anything to do with him since that moment either, which spoke volumes to him now, she’d locked herself away in her accountant’s office with the excuse that it was tax time. But really it was her avoiding the Mate that had once loved her, but turned on her, abandoned her and then assaulted her and blipped over it all because, in reality, he was no different to Christy. He was just out to get what he wanted or thought he was entitled to, because he was the Alpha to the pack.

Shade was out of him and tearing into the room, ripping at everything there was in his pain at what they had done to her and blipped over all these years, and then he was just gone as he felt over a dozen wolves sever from the pack, and it kind of force shifted him back to Anthony.

He was standing in the middle of the study and everything here was destroyed but that desk with the three diaries on it. Somehow, his wolf had left it untouched. He closed his eyes for a moment, understood that was because they’d not finished reading everything and Shade wanted to know, was going to make them read every last word their Mats had written and left for them to read. It was their punishment.

He knew his beast understood who had just severed from them, it was Anne and her family. Mischa’s personal omega had just abandoned this pack as Mischa herself had done, and he was willing to bet, she’d left yesterday after letting him into this room, that she had packed up her family and then made the drive to wherever Mischa was to be with her Luna, who was… pregnant and in need of her personal

omega.

He could actually see it now, why Selena had appeared and helped her, because she had earned a better life, one that would have nothing to do with him, even if he was forever bound to her. He was never going

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to change, he was never going to willingly relinquish her either. She was his Goddess-Gifted and she belonged to him

But right now here in this room he knew she was never coming back to him, that no amount of apologies, begging and pleading on his knees, no vows he could make to her were going to save his and her mate bond. He saw it all for what it was, his own abandoning of her for Christy. It was his choice to stay to not return to Mischa, regardless that Christy asked him to stay, he could have said no he just never had and that was on him.

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