The Golden Lycans (Ella) novel Chapter 19

The Library-Part 2 

*Ella*** 

“Do you really believe your existence won’t have meant something, otherwise? Do you not think you’re affecting people’s lives around you already?” he asks, regarding me with sad eyes. I didn’t 

know what to make of his reaction. 

“Aside from costing my parents a small fortune by coming to this school…I don’t affect anyone. But, I don’t really see what other impact I can make on the world aside from helping/people. I want to help heal, and…you know, hopefully be a bit of light and sunshine on someone’s darkest day,” reply quietly with a shrug. He cocks his head to the side briefly. 

“I know that you are going to go on to do great things,” he says in almost a whisper, his fierce green eyes fixed upon mine. I throw a look at him, because as ridiculous as I knew my hormones were making me be, this statement from him is based on nothing. 

“Based on what? You barely know anything about me!” I ask with a short laugh. 

“Call it…an alpha’s intuition. I can feel it,” he says so assuredly, not breaking eye contact. After a moment, I look down, wanting to change the subject away from myself. 

“The headmaster, how old is he really?” 

He laughs at this. 

“Good question. Our great grandfather is one hundred and forty-nine years old, and yes, that is old, even for a Lycan,” he answers. 

“Can you tell me about your first shift?” I ask a little quietly, somehow feeling like I was asking a very personal question based on what Freya had already told me. His expression shifts to surprise for a moment as he considers my question. 

“I had just turned fifteen. I had an idea it was going to happen soon as my voice had broken fully two weeks prior to that full moon. We can feel the full moon approaching for years before we shift for the first time, but that feeling is so much stronger the week before the first. You just know it in your bones. Typically, your mother or father guides you through it, because you don’t know how to do it until you just…do. I can’t describe it well, it was a very peculiar experience. Anyway, it was painful. Very, very painful. It’s so bad that first time, as if your body needs to experience it before it knows how to do it better the next time, and the time after that and so forth. It is mainly a physical learning experience, but there is a mental element to it too. Once my first shift was complete, there Atlas was, clear and present in my mind. A lifelong companion that I’d been blessed with, blended until the day that I die. I didn’t try to shift again until the following full moon. The pain was too much to make me want to try again, but when I had to for the second time, it wasn’t as bad. 

After four, maybe five moons, it had become painless, much easier and far quicker.” 

exhale, having held my breath while he spoke. 

“That’s crazy, I can’t believe it’s so bad the first time. Although, having watched Freya, I can definitely see why it would be,” I reply. He nods vaguely in agreement. I decide to finally ask something I have really wanted to know, something that had bugged me all week. I lean forward, 

then hesitated for a moment, as I wasn’t really sure that I wanted to know. 

“Say it,” Austin says with a smirk. I close my eyes for a second and push myself to ask. 

“Your great grandfather told me that you could smell me and that I smelled different from other humans. Actually, he said you’d been quite specific about it…are all your senses above average?” 

His eyes go wide and he most definitely blushes for a moment and looks flustered, clearly realising his grandfather had told me exactly what he’d said. I am inwardly amused at his reaction. It was usually me doing the blushing and getting flustered. 

“I…cannot believe he told you that,” he mutters quietly, avoiding my gaze for a few seconds as he collects himself, “okay, so…yes. You do smell different…but please believe me, it is in a good way. It is NOT a bad smell at all, a pleasantly good smell, umm…” 

He lets out an awkward laugh, a little lost for his next words. 

“Anyway… yes…our senses are all heightened. I can smell a sandwich that a human guy across the room thinks he is successfully hiding from the librarian. But, like me, she is Lycan, and she can smell it too, so he’s wasting his time trying to be sneaky. I can see perfectly in the dark, and you’ll probably notice now that you’ve not really seen anyone wearing glasses around here. Taste…goddess we do love our food. Then, we have…touch and any kind of physical sensation…those are very heightened,” he says delicately, trailing a finger lightly across my exposed forearm. I feel the hair on my arm stand up to his touch, my heart beating harder and faster in response. I breathe in deeply and swallow as I look up into his memorising, green eyes. 

“Hearing,” he continues softly, pausing as if listening for something only he can detect. 

I hold my breath. The only sound I hear is the heavy thudding of my own heartbeat, echoing in my head. 

Then, a slow, knowing smile spreads across his face before he speaks again. 

“Well, I can hear your heart beating pretty fast right now,” he murmurs, his voice rich with amusement, “intriguingly, it’s much faster than it was before I came over.” 

My breath catches in my throat. Betrayed by my own body, my heart pounds even harder in response to his words, as if conspiring against me. lift my gaze, locking onto his eyes, but I have nothing-no words, no witty retort. What could I possibly say to that? 

I swallow hard. “You may have a particular effect on me,” I admit, before quickly adding, as if to shield myself, “but like I mentioned yesterday, according to Annabelle, that’s not something I can control. It’s coming from you. Autonomic responses to biological stimuli can’t be helped. It’s just simple science.” 

The biggest smile yet creeps onto his face, and before I can react, he moves even closer. 

“Science, you say?” His voice drops into a low whisper, thick with intrigue. “I asked someone about that last night, and do you know what I found out, Ella? It only affects Lycans. It wouldn’t have any effect on you at all…” 

He leans in further, his breath warm against my skin. 

“Can you explain to me the science behind that?” he adds. 

I can’t. 

His green eyes smoulder with intensity, his voice laced with something dangerously exhilarating. 

“Because it isn’t science,” he breathes, “and I’ll tell you right now… the feeling is more than mutual, even though you won’t even go on one date with me….” 

I inhale sharply, instantly regretting it as his scent crashes into me, heady and intoxicating. 

Gods. 

I shouldn’t have sat on this stupid beanbag. I’m stuck, caught between wanting to escape and wanting to stay right here, helpless against the pull of him. 

“It’s just… not a good idea,” I finally whisper, even though I don’t believe the words leaving my lips. 

Liar! 

A date with Austin, being in his presence, basking in his warmth-it sounds like the best idea I’ve ever heard. 

His eyes darken slightly, his gaze slipping to my lips as he leans in closer. My breathing deepens, the space between us vanishing, drawing me into something I don’t understand but crave nonetheless. 

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