The Hockey Roommate's Filthy Desire novel Chapter 59

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Chapter 59

JULIAN’S POV

Everything I told her was the truth. And somehow, that made it worse.

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Because standing there, looking at her, eyes still glassy from crying, lips slightly parted, chest rising and falling unevenly, I knew exactly what I had done.

I had hurt her. Badly. And for what? My jaw tightened as the memory hit me again.

The night before, after I had walked away from her, after that look on her face, the one that didn’t leave my head no matter how much I drank.

I had gone back into the room. Leonie was there, sitting like she owned the place. Waiting and expecting something.

I was sure she had heard our conversation but I didn’t care. I needed her gone. “I need you to leave,” I told her flatly.

Her brows lifted slightly. “That’s not what you said earlier.”

“I wasn’t thinking.” I replied. “Now I am.” Her expression shifted. Just a little.

“You used me to get to her, didn’t you Julian?” she said, a small laugh escaping her lips but there was no humor in it.

I didn’t deny it. “I love her, Leonie. And it’s for that reason that I want you to leave.” The words felt different out loud. Heavier. Real.

Leonie’s eyes flickered, but she recovered quickly. Of course she did. “And what?” she asked lightly. “You expect me to just walk away from you?”

“Yes. Especially because we don’t have anything, Leonie. We’re just friends. That’s all there is to it.”

Silence. Then she stood up slowly. Too slowly.

“I don’t think you understand something, Julian,” she said, her voice softer now. Dangerous. “I don’t lose.”

I exhaled sharply. “This isn’t a game—”

“Oh, but it is,” she cut in, stepping closer. “And I don’t plan on losing to…

her.”

I didn’t respond. I didn’t need to. Because nothing she said mattered. Not anymore. That must’ve been when something in her snapped.

Because the next thing I knew, she disappeared into the bathroom. And when she came back just a few seconds later, my breath caught.

Jesus. She wasn’t even trying to hide it. She was wearing a lacy lingerie that barely covered anything. This was

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Chapter 59

planned and she knew it.

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She had calculated everything. My jaw clenched. “Don’t come close to me, Leonie”

But she kept walking toward me anyway. “You don’t mean that,” she murmured.

“I do.” She smiled. Like she didn’t believe me.

Like she thought she could win this. That was when I was done.

Before she could say anything, I turned and walked out, leaving her behind there. I needed to breathe.

The living room was quiet. Too quiet. I poured myself a drink. Then another. I tried to clear my head, I tried to forget the look on Aria’s face.

But the alcohol didn’t work. Nothing worked.

And then, I felt it. Warm skin against my back.

Soft. Bare. My body tensed instantly.

“What the hell…” I muttered as I felt the air shift. It was Leonie. She pressed herself against me like she had every right to.

Like I had invited her. “You’re drunk,” she whispered against my shoulder. “You don’t know what you want.”

My grip tightened around the glass. “Get off me.”

But she didn’t. Instead, her hands slid over my chest. And then, her lips met my neck. My jaw clenched as my body betrayed me for a split second.

Reacting. Because I was human. Because she knew exactly what she was doing. And she used it. That was her mistake.

Because the moment my head cleared, I shoved her away from me. Hard. “Don’t,” I snapped, my voice sharp enough to cut. “Don’t ever do that again.”

She stared at me. Surprised. Maybe even a little hurt. “I’ll throw you out right now,” I added coldly. “I don’t care what time it is.”

Silence. Then she scoffed. “Fine.” And just like that, she walked away. After Aria had gone back to her room earlier, I had turned to Leonie, my eyes holding no warmth.

“Pack your things and get out, Leonie. You’re not welcome here anymore.”

She looked at me like I had stung her. “You’re seriously throwing me out? Are you listening to yourself?” She asked, walking towards me but I pulled back.

“Yes and I want you to leave right now, Leonie. I don’t want to repeat myself again. I don’t want to see you close to me again either. Stay away from Aria too.”

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Chapter 59

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She stared at me, her mouth opening like she wanted to say something before she scoffed and walked away.

Minutes later, she came out of the room with her suitcase and then threw me one last glance. “Don’t think you’ve won, Julian. You’re mine and I’ll make sure it stays that way. I promise you.”

And with that, she walked out, leaving me in the silence I had created. And now?

Now I was standing in front of the only girl that actually mattered. And I almost lost her over something so stupid.

My gaze dropped to her lips again. Still close.

Still within reach. God, I wanted to taste her again. I leaned in.

But she turned her head again and my lips brushed her cheek instead. A small rejection.

But it hit harder than it should have.

“Why don’t you want to kiss me, baby” I asked quietly. Her reaction was instant. Her fist hit my chest. Not hard enough to hurt.

But enough to mean something. “Don’t you dare do that,” she snapped, her voice breaking. “Don’t act like nothing happened.”

I stilled. “You called me a slut,” she continued, her eyes filling again. “After everything.”

My chest tightened. After taking something from her that meant everything. Damn. “I was angry,” I said.

“That doesn’t justify it!” she shot back. She was right. I knew she was right.

“I’m sorry,” I said again, softer this time.

She shook her head. “You don’t get to just say that and fix everything.”

“I’m not trying to fix it,” I replied. “I’m trying to be honest.” Her lips parted slightly. “I thought…” I exhaled sharply, running a hand through my hair. “I thought you were choosing someone else.”

Her brows furrowed. “What?”

“That professor,” I said, my voice hardening slightly. “The pictures. The way you smiled…”

“It was a ride!” she cut in. “That’s it!” I studied her face. Really looked this time. And for the first time since I saw those pictures, I didn’t see guilt.

I saw frustration. Hurt. Truth. “I don’t want him,” she added, quieter now. Something in my chest eased.

Just a little. “I want…” she stopped herself.

But I already knew. I stepped closer.

“Say it.”

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Chapter 59

She shook her head. “No.”

“Aria-”

“I said no,” she repeated slowly, even as her voice softened. I didn’t push.

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Instead, I kissed her. Not rough this time. Not desperate. Just… real. She tensed for a second. Then melted. Just like she always did.

And God, I missed that. “I missed you,” I murmured against her lips.

“I hate you,” she whispered back.

I smirked slightly. “No, you don’t.” Her hands curled into my chest. But she didn’t pull away.

“I was going to tell you,” I said between kisses. “How good you were…” Her breath hitched. “How perfect you felt,” I continued softly. “How I couldn’t stop thinking about you. How I loved being inside of you.”

Her fingers tightened against me. “I woke up wanting to make you breakfast,” I added. “And then I saw those pictures.” She stilled. “And I lost it.”

There was silence. Then, she kissed me. This time, she wasn’t hesitant. She wasn’t unsure of what she wanted. This time, the kiss was real.

Messy. Conflicted. But real. And as her lips moved against mine, I knew one thing for sure. We weren’t okay. Not even close.

But we weren’t over either. And right now? That was enough.

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