The Ice Alpha’s Mate (Aria and Ryder) novel Chapter 104

Chapter 104

ARIA

I question myself about three hours in.

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What am I doing? Where am I even supposed to go when I don’t know anyone outside of Ironclaw? If I ask Cassandra for help, she’ll alert my uncle and then all of this will be for nothing

Maybe I’m being too pessimistic too soon, but I’m really wondering where the hell wolves go when they go ‘rogue. Do they just find a place to live in the forest and hang out there for the rest of their lives? Will I have to hunt for food? I’ve never hunted in my entire life. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. The thought of skinning an animal alive doesn’t sit well with

me at all.

“Stop,” I whisper to myself. My thoughts are getting out of hand and they’re just making me more paranoid.

At this point, I’m starting to feel the exhaustion of walking deep in my bones. I’m deep in the woods now, and there’s a low chance that I’ll be found, unless they come after me in wolf form of course. But Uncle Barty hasn’t used his wolf in years, and maybe, deep down, he’ll agree with me.

I don’t want anyone getting hurt because of me. The thought of that makes me shudder and I grow desperate.

Bringing a flashlight with me was the farthest thing from my mind when I left home, but now it’s something I regret. Thankfully, the moon is full, so I can see the path ahead of me pretty clearly. But what about moonless nights? How will I navigate in the dark?

I didn’t even bring a knife with me. Or any weapon to defend myself.

I have a few apples that will last me…maybe until tomorrow evening. After that, it’ll be me and my empty stomach against the world, which is starting to look pretty damn big to me now.

Something ruffles the nearby bushes and I freeze, holding my breath out of fear. It turns out to be just a small white rabbit, though. I exhale in relief as I watch it hop past.

I’ll have to get used to this.

It hits me out of nowhere that I’ll probably have to hunt such small animals to be able to survive out here, and that causes me so much distress that I get breathless, and in moments, I have to hold onto a tree to support myself.

My head is spinning and I feel this strange crawling sensation on my arms. Up and down, up and down. Nausea rolls in the pit of my stomach, and then the pain comes.

It’s blinding and I lose my ability to feel my legs. I look up at the sky, feeling inexplicably drawn to the moon, and I feel relief. Meanwhile, my mind is detached from my body. I don’t feel like myself at all.

A loud crack fills my ear, and I can no longer keep myself upright. I look down at my hands and they’re transforming- shaping into something else. Something ugly and hairy.

Am I…shifting?

I open my mouth to scream but it elongates on the sides, making it feel like my face is splitting into two. I start running wildly and immediately hit the tree in front of me. The pain does nothing to deter me.

I keep going and going, getting faster with each passing minute.

Howls fill my ears when I try to scream, confirming the awful truth. I am in wolf form, not human form. For so long, I fantasized about this moment, thinking that it would help me feel normal and ordinary like everyone else, but now that this is happening to me, I wish it never happened.

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10:00 Mon, Mar 2

Chapter 104

I don’t feel like myself at all.

These paws…this new hairy body…it doesn’t belong to me!

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My hearing sharpens, too, and it’s the most overstimulating experience in the world. How am I supposed to think with all these sounds filling my ears? How do I shift back? I don’t want this. I don’t want anything to do with this. I’m crying for help and no words come out, just animal sounds.

Tears make my vision blurry.

I slam into another tree, and because of my speed, this time, I land on the ground with a pained howl. I paw at my head, hurting myself even more. I want to hurl myself at this tree and ear it down. I want to dig and dig until I can bury my anger so deep in the earth that I won’t be able to find it again.

But movement behind me pulls me out of my thoughts. I’m on all fours, sniffing the air for the intruder that has approached me, instinct guiding me.

The scent in the air is familiar.

A smaller wolf is staring at me from behind the trees. Panic makes me want to attack it, but the scent stops me. I bark at it, a clear threat since I can’t use words, but it steps away from the tree and starts toward me.

The scent gets stronger and I immediately realize that I know who it is.

Ryder.

His eyes are wide as he looks at me. He’s a smaller wolf than me. By the goddess, why is he smaller? I have more fur in my body than he does, and it’s cream colored. He’s a large gray wolf stunning in every possible way.

But wait… what’s he doing here?

He walks up to me and I’m drawn to him, too. He sniffs the air around me before burying his nose in my fur, and his proximity soothes me. My anxiety disappears. He’s here and in wolf form, too.

I don’t feel so alone.

Suddenly, he shifts. At first glance, it’s like nothing is happening, but then I blink and he’s crouched before me in human form, eyes wide.

I’m way bigger than him now.

“Aria,” he whispers, running his fingers through my fur. “You’re…ou’re magnificent, my love.”

I want to shift back. Tell me how to.

“It’s alright,” he says, shushing me once start whimpering. “You’re going to be okay, alright? Just focus on breathing. Breathe, baby. Breathe and think about going back. Focus hard on the form you want. Feel it here.”

He taps me between the eyes.

I do as he says, panicking even harder when it doesn’t work out the way he’s describing. I want out of this form. I hate it. I hate how foreign it feels and how I’m not myself at all.

And then it happens. Just like that.

Like sliding a key into a lock.

I’m in his arms, fully naked like he is, and sobbing. Ryder holds me, kissing my temples and murmuring sweet words to me.

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