The Ice Alpha’s Mate (Aria and Ryder) novel Chapter 48

Chapter 48

ARIA

I feel that instant connection toward him.

My very soul seems to call his name.

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But I know I have to keep my distance even if I can’t do that physically right now. It’s common sense and self-awareness battling with hidden desires deep inside of me. As he steps close to me, parts of me celebrate while the rest fear his proximity.

It’s a constant fight inside of me-wanting him and knowing I can’t. I shouldn’t. And now that I know what I am and the threat I pose to Alpha-borns like him, things have gotten more complicated.

My life depends on how well I can keep him away from me.

Mine and Uncle Barty’s.

“I knew I had to come and see you,” Ryder claims, studying my expression. Goddess, is it possible that everything-all those awful events-happened just a few hours ago? It feels like a lifetime has passed since I last saw him.

“I tried to come earlier,” he continues. He’s already standing by the foot of the bed, and when he places his hand on the mattress, the foot closest to him tingles.

“But I couldn’t,” he concludes.

My mouth is still shut. I don’t know what to say. He steps even closer and my heart gives a little squeeze that leaves me breathless.

His hand is right next to my calf now, still not touching it, but close enough for me to almost feel the heat emanating from him. Or maybe it’s just my imagination. Nonetheless, I can feel i, and it’s all I can focus on until he speaks again.

“I know..” I keep staring at him even after he trails off, curious about what he’ll say because I personally can’t find the words. He then shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Fuck. I don’t know.”

He looks up again and our eyes lock. So much passes between us but none of it can be put into words. I never thought that we’d get to this precise point.

My lips part and I blurt out, “I was expelled.”

“I know,” he claims, his eyes wide. “I know, and I promise you I’m going to fix things. Nadia…I know she’s guilty.”

“I attacked her.”

“But she did something first,” he asserts like he knows. His eyes starch mine. “I know she did. You wouldn’t have attacked her out of the blue.”

Just to contradict him, I say, “You weren’t there. You don’t know what happened.”

“That’s irrelevant because I know you, Aria.” The way he says my name makes my heart start beating in my throat. “You wouldn’t have done it.”

“You don’t know me.”

“Yes, I do.” I can tell he wants to move closer, but he stays put. “I know you more than you think.”

This conversation is making me feel dizzy. I want him to go away. I don’t. I want him to move closer to me, but I know he

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Chapter 48

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shouldn’t. I can’t stop myself from wanting to argue with him. Contradict him. But there’s also a part of me that wishes I could confide in him and tell him everything I fear. Why this can’t work. Why he needs to stay away from me.

“Aria. We’re mates.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“Are you?” he questions, narrowing his eyes at me. “Because it doesn’t seem like you are. You’re running around in circles to avoid the topic. Why are you mad at me?”

“I’m not.”

“I’ll fix things with Nadia.”

“No, you won’t. I don’t want you to.”

A beat of silence passes. “And why’s that?”

“I’m not going back.”

A mix of disbelief and anger crosses his face. “Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Why are you being this way?”

My throat is starting to get tighter with every word I say, and at some point, I won’t be able to ignore the knot forming there. “I’m not being any way. I’m not going back.”

“You’re the best medic the team has ever had.” He takes a single step closer to me. “Your lecturers all praise you. There’s no way I’m going to let that happen.”

At last, I feel a spark of anger that overshadows everything else. Who told you that this is about what you want? It’s what I want, and I’m not going back and that’s the end of it!”

“No,” he replies equally as angrily. “You’re just saying that. I’ll fix hings and you’re going back, Aria. This isn’t up for debate!”

I turn my head to the side and this weak laugh escapes me. It stems from my exhaustion. My fear. Everything that’s turning my mind to mush. “You think you’re some kind of savior, don’t you? Well, I don’t want to be saved. I don’t need it. You go about your life, and I’ll go about mine. That’s the way it always should’ve been and that’s what’s going to happen!”

His thick brows are pinched together. “What’s that supposed to even mean?”

“It means that this is where it all ends.”

Ryder’s gaze shifts from one of my eyes to the other like he’s trying to figure me out. “You’re my mate. Do you really think that this is where it ends?”

My heart starts slamming against my ribs mercilessly. “If we wan it to, it will. And I don’t see a reason why we need to keep this farce up. We now know what it was that kept us…that made …that’s not the point. The point is that now we know what the problem is, we can fix things.”

“The problem?”

For a second, my voice fails me. My throat’s too tight.

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you acting like you weren’t there this whole time? You know there’s something between us, Aria. You’re the smartest fucking person I know, so don’t lie to me. Don’t insult me.” He gestures between the two of us. “Don’t insult this.”

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Chapter 48

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“It was all because of the bond. Take that away and none of this real. Don’t you get it? You’re at the top of the food chain and I’m right at the bottom. We have no business being mates. This was a horrible mistake, but we can set things right and go our separate ways, and that’s what’s going to happen because his could never work and you know that, too. So, don’t insult me.”

Ryder sets his jaw. “I’ll make it work.”

Shit. My heart skips a beat. “Ryder-”

“I’m the Alpha heir. I can do whatever I want. If I want this to work, then it will. I’m sick and fucking tired of all these senseless rules that keep us separated. I’ve never met anyone like you before, Aria. You’ve changed me. You changed everything there was about me.” He shakes his head. “And you’re wrong-this thing between us isn’t about the bond. It’s something else. It’s something that started before we ever figure out we were mates!”

He’s standing so close to me now that I have to look up to meet his eyes. My chest is moving with every breath I take. So is his. We’re breathing like we’ve been running a marathon, but that’s not the case.

“I don’t have it in me to stay away from you,” he practically whispers. “You’re my mate, Aria. Mine. You have been for a long time. I tried to fight this, but I lost. I’ve been losing from the second I laid my eyes on you.”

Tears fill my eyes and one escapes and trails down my cheek. His eyes follow it, and when he tries to wipe it away, I snap my head to the side and force myself to say, “Well, I don’t feel the same way.”

Silence falls upon us, and only after I’ve calmed myself a little do I tell him, “I want a rejection.”

When my gaze settles on his face again, I see war waging behind them.

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