The Ice Alpha’s Mate (Aria and Ryder) novel Chapter 73

Chapter 73

ARIA

This dinner had to be the worst of all time.

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Saying this makes me feel so bad because I know how much effort Uncle Barty put into this whole event. Cassandra, too. They were genuinely excited and I feel like I just poisoned the festive mood with my negative, jealous energy.

I looked over at their table and saw that they were gone. This happened after several minutes of me trying not to look their way. I didn’t want to make anyone at my table suspicious about what I was doing, and I had to pay attention to Tyler, who sat down with us while his parents were on the other table, waiting, just to say hi.

I was so scared of Ryder walking up to our table and causing a scene. I know how much he hates Tyler. Even in the beginning, before we admitted our feelings to one another, he didn’t like his teammate.

I keep remembering the day when Ryder left him behind when he had a flat tire. He drove me to the beach that day, even though he didn’t have to.

It’s crazy for me to think about how far we’ve come. We went from hating each other completely to…whatever is happening

now.

Who would’ve guessed? I definitely wouldn’t.

But this doesn’t cheer me up. I feel depressed, for some reason. Nothing about this feels right. I hate that I was so mad at him, but at the same time, I have to give myself some credit.

Reaching a point where I’ve lost all self-respect is…not what I’m trying to do. When does that start to happen? When do I realize that I’ve lost myself completely and the love I feel for him is taking over and clouding my judgment?

I know how this ends. He knows, too.

So, why do we keep fighting it when we know there might not be a solution?

I twist and turn in bed. I can’t sleep. I’m just worried about all this, even though I have classes early tomorrow and can’t miss them. I wish it were easy for me to just close my eyes and not have to think about this again.

It’s so hard, though.

A few minutes later, I hear some knocking on my window. At first, I think it’s just my imagination, but then I hear the sound again and it makes me sit up in bed.

Someone’s knocking on my window.

My heart starts beating faster.

The knocking persists, and despite my fear, I climb out of bed in my pajama shorts and head to the window. I part it a little and my heart skips a beat when I make eye contact with Ryder.

“Ryder,” I whisper.

He presses his forehead against the glass and mouths, “Let me in

Deep down, I know this is a bad, bad idea. We haven’t even figured things out, and it’ll be hard to have a conversation when my uncle is sleeping in the next room.

But I find myself nodding and heading toward the front door to unlock it for him. My core is tight and excitement mixed with fear is traveling up and down my spine, making me feel hot and cold at the same time.

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Chapter 73

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I unlock the door as quietly as I can, and Ryder appears in the doorway. His eyes meet mine and for many seconds, I have the feeling that I suddenly don’t know how to breathe anymore.

He’s so close. I can feel the heat emanating from his body. He’s here, in my home. A place that’s always been a refuge for me.

Where my uncle is sleeping right next door.

I can’t even think about what’ll happen if Uncle Barty finds out he’s here. He might just die of disappointment. Not bringing boys over was always a rule, even when I always assured him that I didn’t have a boyfriend and never planned on getting

one.

Now, I’m breaking that small rule. What if he finds out?

He’ll never forgive me.

But words can’t be spoken right now. I open the door wider and Ryder walks in. I quickly lock the door and step in front of him. I wave him over and he follows me into

my room.

A place where I’ve thought this about—about us—so often that it felt like my head would explode.

Now, he’s here. In my most private space.

I lock my bedroom door, too, and then turn to face him. I see him looking around like he’s committing every detail to memory, even though the room is dark. I wonder what he thinks about the simple decor. My bed takes up most of the room. My study table is a little messy because I haven’t had time to clear it up. My windows are parted slightly, and moonlight is streaming into the room.

Right now, it’s the only source of light.

Finally, he turns around to face me. He looks so enormous in my bedroom. Ryder is tall and muscular, but right now, he looks almost surreal.

“I couldn’t stop myself from coming here,” he whispers. “I couldn’t, Aria.”

I fold my arms across my chest. “My uncle-”

“I know,” he says, not letting me finish. “I know. I just needed to see you.”

My heart’s slamming against my ribs. I should send him away. I know it. What I have to do is walk back out of this room and open the front door for him.

But I don’t.

Instead, like a maniac, I walk right past him and climb back into bed, aware that his eyes are following my every move.

I throw the covers off the other side and wait for him. Ryder looks at me long enough to make my heart feel like it’ll beat right out of my chest. So long that I think he’ll tell me he has to go. I know how he feels about all this.

But he doesn’t.

He walks toward my bed, taking off his shirt. He only leaves his pants on, but he takes the belt off.

I watch him and it’s hard to ignore how I’m practically salivating or how it’s starting to feel really wet between my legs. On the surface, I’m telling myself that nothing will happen and I’ll be in control of myself. But deep, deep down, I’m hoping something will happen.

It’s confusing. Makes no sense.

Ryder lies down beside me. The bed feels way smaller than it is now, and there’s no such thing as space between us. Our

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Chapter 73

bodies are practically smashed together. It has to be this way or one of us will fall out of it.

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His eyes meet mine in the dark, and we just stare at each other. is breathing is steady. Mine’s getting there. Slowly, I start to get used to the thought and the feel of him in my bed.

It becomes normal. Like everything else.

“Aria,” he whispers. “This is a bad idea.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t keep my hands off you,” he answers in an even lower voice. “And right now, it’s really hard for me to keep. that promise to myself.”

“Then don’t.”

He frowns. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t keep your hands to yourself.”

I think this was the wrong thing for me to say, because his pupils dilate and then, he’s upon me, his lips crashing into mine.

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