“I can’t wait!”

I stood in the dim light of our dining room, arranging the silverware nervously with my fingers for the fourth time. With soft music playing, flickering candles and the aroma of roasted chicken filling the air the table was perfectly set.

This dinner took hours to prepare. In an effort to remind Liam of our past together, I tried to make everything right. After all, it was our anniversary . Despite being together for four years, it seemed like we were very far apart.

I took a look at the wall clock. 7. 42 p. m. By now Liam ought to be at home. He had said he would arrive early tonight. No more excuses. I couldn’t deny the nagging feeling that he wasn’t returning in the manner that I wanted.

My heart skipped a beat as I straightened up and the door finally opened. I called softly my voice full of hope “Liam?”

He entered without looking up, dropping his briefcase on the floor. His suit was a little rumpled and he barely acknowledged me as he passed by without taking off his shoes.

Despite my heart pounding I tried to speak calmly as I said “Hey. I have prepared supper. It was thoughtful that we could celebrate.”

Liam continued. With his eyes fixed on his phone he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry for being late… work-related matters.”

For a moment, I stood motionless, the excitement I had been clinging to all day dissolving in my fingers like sand.

“It’s our anniversary, Liam.”

He muttered without raising his gaze “I know. I apologize…It’s been a nightmare of a meeting. Right now, I don’t have time for dinner.”

As he shuffled toward the kitchen a thick silence fell between us. The warm glow of the candles and the clink of the silverware made everything seem so. No longer important.

My efforts this evening seemed inconsequential. I blinked away the tears in my eyes.”Is our job truly more important than our marriage?”

Liam took a while to respond. His jaw was tense as I could see. He finally let out a sigh and put his phone down.

“Can’t we do this tonight, Ava? I have a ton of other things to do.”

I saw him sit at the kitchen counter and furiously rub his forehead. The burden of all the years we had spent together weighed heavily on me as I swallowed.

The falsehoods we had told ourselves and the commitments we made. I had to get his attention. I wanted him to understand.

“I’m pregnant, Liam.” There. I had said it.

He looked up from the counter and for a second I thought I saw something maybe a surprise but then it vanished into that all too familiar distance.

“Pregnant?” His voice sounded flat as if he were reading a report rather than hearing a life-altering announcement. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” I suppressed the anger that surged through me. “I hoped that this would help us get closer. I thought—”

I stepped back, letting go of his arm as the tears threatened. ” Go. Attend your meeting. In any case it’s undoubtedly more important than me.”

After a brief pause Liam picked up his coat from the chairs back and made his way to the door.” We’ll discuss this later.”

“Yeah” I muttered to myself as my heart broke again. We’ll discuss it further.”

However I was aware that we wouldn’t. We never did. And my mind went haywire as I stood there without eating my anniversary meal. I was hit hard by reality.

I was at a loss as to how to stop my husband from drifting further and further away. I tried fixing it several times but it wasn’t enough because we were breaking.

Liam had decided.

His career, his work and his meetings came first. And me? I was merely another element in his universe that he could disregard. And for the first time I genuinely questioned whether our marriage could withstand this separation.

Touching my stomach I felt the tin

y life there. “Hold on tight” I said. “Mummy will pull through.”