Chapter 25
I scurried out of bed and rushed to the bathroom. It was impossible to
breathe or think clearly because of the severe nausea.
I barely made it to the bathroom before I heaved my stomach
emptying and a sour taste filling my mouth. In a desperate attempt to
regain control of my body I braced myself against the cold porcelain
as the dizziness swirled around me.
After some time I flushed the toilet making a noise that was nearly
too loud for the room’s silence. I splashed some water on my face and
looked up at the mirror to see my pale reflection.
Stress and exhaustion had become her constant companions leaving
my face pallid and my eyes bloodshot and exhausted. I had no idea
how the pregnancy would manifest itself, the nausea,
lightheadedness and unexpected flashbacks.
I was unable to distinguish between what was real and what was
merely a figment of my imagination as if I were living in a fog and
rambling from one moment to the next. I closed my eyes as the
slightest pressure as though something were trying to escape from
the shadowy recesses of my mind began to build up behind them.
A flash then appeared in the silence. Sharp and vivid, the memory
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sliced like a knife through the mist. It wasn’t like the others. This
image wasn’t hazy. This one seemed genuine to me…
I realized that I was facing Liam. The documents. The documents for
the divorce, the emotionless icy look on his face. I could practically
feel them weighing down my hands and my fingers shaking as I raised
them to him.
“Liam… What is this?” I said softly my voice nearly lost in the
deafening silence between us.
It felt like I was back there hearing my own voice tremble as I posed
the question that had rocked my world because the memory was so
vivid now.
Liam’s voice sounded emotionless and flat as if he had said the same
thing a hundred times.“It’s over, Ava.”
But I wasn’t prepared to listen to them. Not at that time. In contrast,
His eyes which had once been warm and loving had turned cold and
empty. They appeared to be the eyes of an unfamiliar person,
someone I couldn’t identify or know. I was unable to speak.
“No.” I eventually said, my voice rasping with incredulity. “You cant–I
cant-”
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With a dull sound, the papers fell from my hands and onto the floor. I
couldn’t take my eyes off his face as I watched them fall. His
eyes
were emotionless and lifeless. The realization made my heart race
and pound in my chest.
He wasn’t fighting on our behalf. Not that he was trying. He had
already decided on something. And at this point I was just a bother to
him.
With his voice as cold as ice he said.“Ava… For months I have been
telling you that we are done. I’m done.”
The words pierced me like a knife. I felt as if the room was spinning
and I held onto the bed for support.
We can’t ignore this. Liam not in this manner. “As I spoke my voice
cracked with a mixture of rage and desperation. “We are married. Our
lives are collapsing and you cannot ignore this.”
He made no response. He simply sighed and rubbed his temples
acting as though I were a bother. His expression, which was one of
indifference, did not change.
In a dismissive tone he remarked “This is nothing new to us,
Ava.You’ve been acting like our family is happy but we’re not. It’s been
a long time since we went from bad to worse.”
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I felt as though the floor gave way beneath me and I fought to remain
to steady myself as my knees buckled.
The ground seemed to have completely vanished. “That’s not correct.
Not when we are pregnant.”
He didn’t even recoil. He showed no signs of being affected by the
news of the baby and his eyes were not soft. He had cold emotionless
and far–off eyes.
“Ava it’s up to you. Nothing has changed as a result of your
pregnancy.” He shrugged as if it did not concern him in the least. “You
made the decision to keep the child. But I am telling you that I do not
want children at this time. I have never done so and never will.”
I tried to breathe but the words choked me as my throat constricted. I
had the impression that I had been struck in the face. “Get rid of it.”
he said in a flat emotionless voice. “I’ll never have children of my
own. And you do not need to be alone if you do not wish to be.”
The world shook beneath me and my heart broke causing my vision to
blur. He wasn’t who I believed him to be. I married a different man
than him. No longer did the man in front of me care about our child or about me. He was a cold heartless stranger, he didn’t regard
anything.
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