Chapter 32
With my heart hammering my ribs I turned abruptly. Alexanders dark
unreadable face stood by the open doorway. His clenched jaw
narrowed eyes and the way his hands curled into fists at his sides
were all highlighted by the golden glow from the chandelier. He was
like this for the first time.
“You didnt answer me” he said in a low menacing voice. “Whats your
purpose here?”
With my
throat dry I swallowed. “I–I just—”
The necklace on the floor caught his attention. His movements
moved too quickly. He walked across the room knelt and picked up
the dropped necklace in a matter of seconds. Holding it like a
treasure his forearm muscles flexed as his fingers curled tightly
around it. Or something that is prohibited.
“I didnt intend-” He yelled “You had no right” his voice cutting like a
whip through the atmosphere.
I recoiled. I felt regret twist inside of me. Not that I intended to pry. I
didnt intend to touch something so sacred and intimate.
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With a whisper “Im sorry. I didnt think.”
He laughed but his laughter was devoid of humor. Something cold and
bitter only. “You broke into my wifes room and went through her
belongings without thinking.. You believe that an apology will make
that go away?”
I felt a knot of guilt. “Alexander I wasnt attempting to pry into your
privacy. I simply-”
“You just what?” his piercing voice asked piercing my weak defense.
“You believed you had the freedom to go wherever you wanted to go
and to touch things that werent yours?”
Each word in Alexanders incredibly sharp voice cut through the heavy
tension between us. He had anger in his eyes but there was something
else burning beneath it that I couldnt quite identify, a deeper level.
My throat constricted as I swallowed.
With my voice hardly audible above a whisper I confessed “I didnt
think it would upset you this much.”
He clenched his jaw. He muttered “You didnt of course.. Because you
don’t think do you?” He stepped forward his volume commanding.
“You dont pause to think about what isnt yours to touch or take.”
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I shook my head feeling my heart pound. “That is unfair. I didnt take
anything. I just-” I paused trying to think of the right phrase. “I was
attempting to comprehend you.”
His chuckles were piercing and derisive. “Do you understand me?” he
asked again shaking his head. “Do you believe that searching through
Fionas belongings will make you better understand me?”
At the name I winced. Fiona. his spouse. The woman in the pictures. I
didnt understand how much I resembled the woman.
I had to steady my voice as I said “I wasnt rummaging.. I wasnt
destroying the place. I just made one touch.” I pointed to the necklace
that was in his hand. “That..”
His fingers clenched more tightly around the brittle chain as though I
had just validated his worst suspicion. “And that should improve it?”
he yelled. “That you only made one contact?” He spoke in a rough low
voice. “That necklace belonged to my wife who is the one who should
be in this house not you.”
The remarks had a profound effect. Although I had no idea who I was
prior to the accident I was certain that I didnt belong here. He gave a
harsh exhale as though he had to control himself. “She loved that
piece of jewelry the most. She didnt remove it at all.” With an
unreadable expression he looked down at it. “Shes not here to wear it
now.”
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I felt guilty like a boulder in my stomach. “I didnt know” I muttered.
“No you didnt.“He had a tight voice. “You mean you dont remember
anything?”
With a slight crack in my voice I reiterated “I wasnt trying to take
anything.”
He approached me with a slow methodical step. “So what were you
attempting to accomplish?.“His fury was erupting like a tempest and
his voice was rising.
I tried again my voice trembling “I wasnt thinking!”
“Exactly!” he said his eyes darting. “Do you know what youve done
Ava? You werent thinking.”
My breath caught when he spoke in such a fierce angry tone. This was
a side of him I had never seen before. The man who had been so
composed and patient was no longer there. He was replaced by
someone enraged whose feelings were so strong that they scorched
the atmosphere between us.
“I–I don’t even know who I am!” I said before I could stop myself. My
feelings were evaporating at the edges and my voice broke. “I dont
remember anything! I wake up in this house every day being
surrounded by people and things I dont know and Im just supposed to
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be okay with it?”
There was something flickering behind his eyes as he gazed at me. I
let out a trembling breath. “Alexander I wasnt attempting to steal.” I
paused feeling vulnerable. “I just… All I wanted was to comprehend.”
He laughed. “Do you realize that this isnt your life and that you dont
belong here?”
It hurt what he said. I felt my throat constricted. “I didnt intend to-
But you did!” he said as he stepped closer to me his presence
oppressive and smothering. “You entered here as if you were perfectly
entitled to do so. As if this were merely a mystery that you needed to
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