The Stand In Wife's Revenge novel Chapter 34

Chapter 34

I stood outside Ava’s door my hand hovering just inches from the

wood. The only source of illumination in the dim hallway came from

the antique wall sconces. The fast thud of my heart was accentuated

by the oppressive silence that enveloped me.

I couldnt tell how long I had been standing here but my fingers

wouldnt move wouldnt shut the door and wouldnt knock. I should

leave. I should turn around and go back to my room. But I couldn’t

She had been harmed by me. And that guilt clung to me like a second

skin. I clenched my jaw and exhaled slowly trying to steady my

nerves. Apologies had never come easy for me.

Owning up to my mistakes had never been my strong suit. But tonight

I had crossed a line I shouldn’t have. Tonight I had made Ava feel like

an intruder in a house where she had no choice but to stay. With a

sharp inhale I finally forced my knuckles against the door. A soft

hesitant shuffle came from the other side.

Then there was no sound.

I waited to see if she would pay me any attention. in the event that

she would act as though she were sleeping or just ignore me. I

wouldnt blame her in part. Then finally I heard the slow turn of the

doorknob. The door cracked open just enough for her to peek out. She

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had her head cocked to the side staring at the floor instead of me.

Her face was covered in shadows from the low light emphasizing the

dark circles under her eyes. She looked exhausted drained.

“Ava” I uttered softly. She didn’t respond.

“Can I come in?“.

She hesitated for a moment then wordlessly stepped aside. I took

invitation for what it was–a reluctant allowance rather than a

welcome. But I stepped inside anyway keeping a careful distance

between us.

The room was dimly lit the air carrying the faint scent of vanilla and

something floral–her scent. The bed was neatly made untouched

since she had likely stormed off to be alone. She didn’t meet my eyes

as she closed the door behind me her arms crossing over her chest in

a defensive posture.

I cleared my throat. “I wanted to say I was sorry.“.

Yet she remained silent. I added “I shouldnt have screamed at you. I

was angry but I had no right to take it out on you.”

Ava’s fingers curled into the fabric of her sleeves. “I didn’t mean to

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upset you” she said softly. The weight in her voice made something

tighten in my chest.

“Yes” I muttered.

She lifted her gaze just slightly but only for a moment before looking

away again. I ran a hand through my hair exhaling. “That room was

Fionas favorite. It was her personal area and I- My throat

constricted. I guess I just wasn’t prepared to see someone else in it.”

With a voice hardly audible above a whisper Ava nodded. “I

understand. “. She shouldn’t have had to. She shouldn’t have had to

tiptoe around a past that wasn’t hers around memories she didn’t

even know.

But still she stood here accepting my words with more grace than I

deserved. Something neither of us dared to name weighed heavily on

the silence that hung between us.

At last she said in a quiet but firm voice “I wasnt trying to take

anything.”

I exhaled sharply. “I am aware.I just…”

She hesitated as if debating whether to continue. “I saw the pictures

of her and I got curious. “. Her hands fidgeted slightly betraying her

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nerves. “She was beautiful”

Ava continued glancing at me before quickly looking away again. “I

could tell she was very important to you.”

“She did” I said quietly as I acknowledged it. “She was my wife. “.

Ava swallowed hard and nodded once more. “I apologize for

disturbing your recollections of her. “.

I sighed. “Thats not that easy Ava.”

She bit her lip waiting for me to continue. I rubbed my face searching

for the right words. “The past isnt all that matters. It’s about the fact

that I… I wasn’t ready.”

Something in my chest twisted when I gave her a serious look. “I

wasn’t ready to see you in that room standing where she used to

stand.”

Ava stayed silent despite a slight furrow in her brows. “And that

wasn’t fair to you” I admitted. “You didn’t do anything wrong. “.

For a long moment neither of us spoke. Then Ava let out a shaky breath. “I don’t even know who I am” she whispered her voice laced with something so raw it sent a sharp pang through my chest.

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Nothing makes sense despite my constant attempts to recall and piece together my past. And then tonight when I found that room… I just wanted something. Some kind of connection. Even if it wasn’t mine. She made a confession that deeply affected me. I hadnt stopped to think about her suffering because I had been so preoccupied with

my own.

Someone had died. Ava though had lost herself. With a softer voice now I said I cant imagine how hard this must be for you.. Ava looked

up then her eyes glistening slightly.

“It’s terrifying” she admitted. “I wake up every day feeling so

different from who I am. “.

My throat started to get lumpy. “You’re not alone in this.”

She smiled at me sorrowfully. “I feel like I am sometimes. ”

My chest tightened. The distance between us suddenly felt unbearable. Our eyes met lingering in the quiet stillness of the room. Between us there was a strange energy tentative but unavoidable. Something I should not pay attention to. But I didn’t. Before I knew what I was doing my feet carried me forward.

One action. Then another.

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As I closed the distance between us Ava took a sharp breath and her body went rigid. I should not do this. I knew better. And yet I couldn’t stop myself. I lowered my head to hers before I could think before I could resist the pull that was pulling me in. My eyes fell to her lips.

Ava gasped.

Then-. Heart beats. Silence.

The moment hung between us suspended in time neither of us

moving neither of us brea

thing.

And for the first time in years I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stop.

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