The Stand In Wife's Revenge novel Chapter 53

Chapter 53

I sat looking at my reflection in the mirror. I was unable to fully comprehend the whirlpool of memories feelings and ideas in Something significant that had once belonged to me seemed to be just out of reach

However just like the warmth that was once mine it slipped away each time I attempted to grasp it I looked bark at the woman mirror and blinked. I wasnt entirely sure who she was. It appeared as though she was carrying a burden she was unable to get nd het eyes were worn out and aloof.

head

The

4 24

Even though I didnt really know her I knew that I couldnt keep acting in this way. I couldnt keep looking in the mirror that ende who I was before. I had to alter my behavior. I didnt know exactly how but I had to take charge. With the exception of a Highsmie hum the room was quiet. I reached into my drawer and took out a pair of scissors.

I spent a lot of time staring at them almost mesmerized by the blades gleam. Cutting off the previous version of myself seemed right thing to do as if doing so would somehow make room for the person I was attempting to become.

I couldnt tell if it was a step toward recovery or just another detour from the reality I was unable to accept. I didnt care though the cold metal of the scissors to my hair as I held them in my hands. I cut slowly.

Every snipe felt liberating like a tiny triumph. As I carefully moved the scissors each slice getting me closer to a new version of could feel the resistance in my own body even though I wasnt sure what I was up against.

The silky curly strands dropped to the ground in a cascade of brown that appeared to represent the past–parts of me that behind because they were no longer needed.

As I continued to cut away I sensed a change within. It wasnt a significant shift that anyone else could see. However something broke open and I felt the tiniest flicker of control for the first time in a long time. power. After I was done I took another tool th

image.

There was someone else staring back at me. I no longer had the characteristic long flowing hair that defined who was it was

shorter more solemn and chin–length instead. Even though the persons direction was unclear the reflection appeared more tow we co

determined as if they had made a decision.

I silently gazed at myself wishing I could feel anything at all. But I was only aware of the commitment I had made to spend to stop crying. I refused to be the girl who broke down every time she thought about the sulfening I had to get CHAK WIN

The person who allowed herself to be pulled into the abyss was not someone I could be in an attempt to collect my organe d thoughts I closed my eyes and took a slow deep breath The flashes struck piercing my mind like lightning won as thy Laughter Initially it was gentle and far away reminiscent of a joyful moment

stud

I heard it again louder this time and it overlapped with a voice that was speaking in words I couldnt quite understand. Then the sound of bells reached my ears Wedding bells. They thood in the bas kground bringing back memores of sumething that might have been mate

Though they were all blurry I could make out faces I held someones hand as I stood in front of them The wedding Was this my

Chapter 53

wedding? However the recollection persisted. It changed to something else to a different place and time

I heard voices singing along to a cheerful birthday song while they laughed and then there was more laughter I could almost all the warmth of the moment. Was it a get–together or a celebration? Then there was another kind of laughter After fading and blurring the sounds changed to the high–pitched notes of joyful conversation and the clinking of spoons against china

As images of additional faces and voices flashed through my head my hands gripped the vanitys edge. Good morning Adorable the Even though I was unable to locate them I could now clearly hear them. As the memories surged and fought their way to the front mind my heart pounded in my chest.

Then however the shift returned. Everything broke down into chaos including the warmth and happiness. The laughter gave we something sharper and more difficult to understand. my own words.

The memory brought back my own tears. I couldnt stop crying. I was not merely crying though. I was shouting screaming furines and perplexed. desperate. It seemed as though everything I had ever valued was being taken away from me and my heart was being pet

apart.

I tried to touch my head but the pain got worse and went through my skull like a sharp flash of light. I winced as I tried to concentrate

and hold on to the brief seemingly real images but the pain was too sharp for me to do so.

My temples felt like a vice getting tighter the harder I tried to recall. My eyes ached from tears but I fought them back. Never

I cry. No not right now. Not after everything. The memories appeared to dance away from me dispersing in all directions

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