The Stand In Wife's Revenge novel Chapter 70

Chapter 70

While we were eating breakfast I couldnt resist observing Ava. She moved with ease and assurance as if she were at home in this situation. Everything about her smile and the delicate way she picked up her fork with her fingers felt so… natural.

But my attention was captured by more than just her poise. It was the way she appeared to be completely present and unaffected by hesitation. Compared to the Ava I had known in the past she was different and I found it impossible to look away. I realized I had been staring too long.

Forgotten a forkful of eggs hung halfway to my mouth. I was absorbed in my thoughts and totally engrossed in the silence until Avas little laugh jerked me out of it.

With a lighthearted smile tugging at the corners of her lips she asked “Are you going to eat or just stare at your plate all morning?”

I forced myself to refocus and blinked. Her laugh was warm and sincere and I couldnt help but smile as I shrugged and let out a little laugh. “I guess I became sidetracked.”

But I was still thinking about other things. My mind wandered as she kept eating and memories started to surface–unexpectedly and without warning.

Another morning another kitchen another breakfast I recalled. A kitchen similar to this one but with different faces and energy. Years had passed back when things were much easier. Fiona and I had experienced similar moments in the past.

Now I could almost hear her voice carefree and light breaking the stillness between us as she laughed at something I had said. Her laugh was warm and full of life. Her presence was still palpable as if she were standing beside me her hand resting softly on my arm while she whispered a secret joke in my ear.

The familiar gentle touch of her fingers as they brushed against my skin. Sharp and clear the memory came flooding back to me. In the tiny cottage we had rented on a whim we had sat at a table that was similar to this one. Long shadows stretched across the floor as the sun filtered through the windows.

The air had been filled with the aroma of toasted bread and freshly brewed coffee. Fiona had been seated across from me her eyes glistening with that sly gleam I had fallen in love with and her laughter infectious.

Her voice was like music drifting through my head as I heard her taunting me. When she said “You always make things sound so much more complicated than they are.”

She was being playful but also loving. The two of us had been playing off each others energy and boosting each others humor in a rhythm. With our jokes laughter sharing of toast and lighthearted arguments about who had made the better coffee we had been

unstoppable.

The future was so bright and promising back then. No shadows or unsolved questions had existed. It had been easy. lovely. The sweetness of her laugh was almost back in my mouth and I could almost feel her hand brushing against mine as if I could reach out and touch her a

little bit closer.

16:47 Wed, May 6

Chapter 70

I shook my head a little as if to ignore the memories but they persisted. Despite their sweetness the memories had a bitter undertone. I had lost her. She couldnt be retrieved by any amount of warmth or laughter. In actuality I had buried those memories for a reason. They are painful. They brought to mind both the life I had lost and the one I had had. Then I found myself sitting with Ava.

She was unquestionably alive genuine and present. However she also served as a reminder of how much I needed to let go of. Watching her bring her cup to her lips her brow furrowed slightly in concentration and the light dancing in her eyes made my heart tighten.

She had a vitality about her that had always captivated me. However could I really allow myself to feel it? Could I accept the present while my past continued to haunt me like a ghost?

“Ava” I said almost too softly as though the words were too difficult to utter out loud. “You are different.”

The cup was halfway to her lips when she paused. She studied me with a tilted head and asked “Different?”

Unable to control the sensation that was taking place inside of me I swallowed. What words could I use to describe the tempest of memories smashing into the wall I had attempted to erect around them?

When I said “I just mean..” I paused “You’re not like I remember you. You’ve evolved.”

With her eyes still on me Ava slowly put down her cup. She asked in a light tone “And that’s a problem?” but there was an edge to her voice that caused me to pause.

I shook my head. “No. It isnt an issue. Just its different and nice.”

I was having trouble balancing the Ava I knew with the overwhelming presence I sensed sitting across from me but I was at a loss for words. It appeared as though the woman in front of me had changed into a stronger more… dominant person. It wasnt a bad thing though. My realization that I couldnt continue to hold onto memories of Fiona grew as I observed her more.

Not if I desired to be present. I wouldnt want to be with Ava in a real sense. A gentle touch on my hand brought me back to the present. I was unsure of how long I had been sitting there absorbed in my thoughts. When Avas fingers lightly touched mine I froze.

She touched me with warmth and grounding. She didnt say anything but I could tell by the way she looked at me that she was aware of the weight of my silence and the distance in my gaze. When she spoke her voice was gentle but worried.

She asked looking into my eyes as if to see what was going on behind the mask I had put on Are you okay?. I blinked and rubbed my eyes attempting to clear my mind of the haze of memories that had taken over.

I muttered nodding rapidly “Yeah” but the words sounded vacuous. “I’m okay.”

But I wasnt okay. I was not at all okay. An internal conflict was going on between clinging to the past and accepting the present. I couldnt get rid of the memories of Fiona that still hung over me like a shadow.

Ava was directly in front of me. I inhaled deeply pushing myself to concentrate to confront reality and move past the ghost of the past, Fiona was no longer there. The past was in the past. This was Ava. That must have been sufficient.

16:47 Wed, May 6

VERIFYCAPTCHA_LABELVerify