Chapter 81
I moved slowly down the corridor my steps getting heavier as I went. Uncertainty permeated the air around me but I was unable to go back at this time. What was it about Fiona that made me feel so familiar? Why did I feel as though I knew her from somewhere else-
somewhere beyond the surface of our shared life?
This question had been circling around in my head all night. Despite Alexanders caution and all the evidence that it was a bad idea I
started to walk in the direction of her room. I knew that I should have left and gone back to sleep but I was unable to do so. I needed to
know.
Whatever was dragging at my thoughts I had to find it. When I got to Fionas room I was hesitant. I could hear the faint hum of silence on the other side as the polished wood of the door reflected the soft glow of the hallway light.
The hallway was deserted when I looked over my shoulder half expecting to see Alexander standing there observing me. I was by myself with my thoughts and the house was quiet. In an attempt to quiet the fluttering in my chest I closed my eyes for a moment.
After inhaling deeply I grabbed the doorknob and pushed it open. Although it felt different now the room was exactly as I had discovered it when I had first walked in. It was more orderly and nearly sterile. As usual Fionas perfume perfumed the air but something about it felt colder as if the room itself had been transformed into a shrine to a woman who was no longer entirely present.
Absence weighed on the air. Feeling the weight of my choice fall upon me like a cloak I softly clicked the door shut behind me and entered the room. The furniture stood in sharp contrast to the disarray in my head because it was elegant yet simple.
The soft cream walls and the delicate furniture pieces strewn about were lit by the hallways light. As if no detail had been missed everything was set up flawlessly. I remained motionless for a while taking in the silence while attempting to calm my racing mind.
I then turned and scanned the room for anything that could provide me with a clue or provide an answer to the questions that were bothering me. I walked toward the dresser my fingers brushing the gleaming wood my gaze straying to it. When I opened the first drawer I found nothing interesting but well–folded clothing.
I slammed it shut and went on to the next one in the hopes of discovering something anything that could teach me something. A pack of gum small bottles of perfume face creams a few skincare books and toiletries were all in the second drawer. But I couldnt find anything to
help me.
I looked at the little bookshelf beside the bed in frustration hoping to find something. I looked at the book covers which had such common titles–business books romance novels the kind of books you would think a woman like Fiona would read. However there was nothing particularly noteworthy or noteworthy.
No journals, diaries or files. Her entire appearance seemed to have been meticulously chosen to fit a preconceived notion of perfection. No signs of additional information. I exhaled an exasperated breath. Perhaps there wasnt anything to find or perhaps I was overanalyzing
this.
I took one more look around the room admiring the delicate curtains that fluttered slightly in the window breeze the tastefully placed decorative pillows and the soft neutral colors. Although there was nothing personal about this room everything about it shouted Fiona.
10:36 Mon, May 11
Chapter 81
There was nothing that seemed genuine. Something caught my attention just as I was ready to turn and walk away to finally acknowled that there was nothing to discover. From beneath the dressers bottom drawer a tiny corner of a file was visible.
It appeared to have been purposefully hidden or forgotten as if it had been forgotten. My heart beat faster. I approached the dresser knett and carefully reached under the drawer to retrieve the file. It had nothing written on the outside and was a thin folder no bigger than a typical document.
As I flipped it open my fingers shook a little and I struggled to control my breathing as the fear and excitement surged through me. As if holding its breath alongside me the room was eerily quiet. I looked at the contents of the file for a while but my nervous eyes blurred the words and I could only see the top sheet of paper.
My pulse accelerated as I tried to concentrate and I experienced an adrenaline rush. That was taking place. I was finally going to find the answers to my questions after all this time. I gripped the files edges with my fingers more tightly but before I could process what I was seeing I heard footsteps approaching from the hallway. I was frozen.
The weight of what the file might reveal pressed down on me making it feel heavier than ever in my hands. I couldnt allow anyone to see me here. I had to keep looking through Fionas belongings so Alexander wouldnt notice. When I heard the hallway door creak open I was about to close the file and put it back where I had found it.
My heart almost stopped.
All of the things that I had been suppressing and ignoring were now emerging. Would this file contain the information I had been looking for or would it contain something that would destroy everything? What was I going to do?
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