Ren knew it.
He knew it because he was exactly the same way in those situations, and because he had spent enough time around Luna to recognize the pattern in someone else, even when recognizing it didn’t stop him from feeling guilty about it.
Selphira looked at him with the deep attention she had when she wanted what she was about to say to land with all the clarity she intended to give it.
"The only reason you’re the one going," she said, "and the one giving orders out there, is because you’re the only one who can do something about the crystallization when you find what they’re looking for." She paused. "But you’re carrying nine lives that matter a great deal. Don’t focus only on Sirius’s."
The silence that followed had the weight of things that were said once.
"That’s also something you have to grow into handling," Selphira added, and the quality of it wasn’t hardness but the kind of honesty she applied to things she cared about enough not to soften. "Remember that among those nine, you’re also carrying my granddaughter and your future wife."
Mayo raised her hand.
"Can I ask whether Ren’s orders are absolute for the non-future-wives when we’re about to die? Because if we’re going to be underground surrounded by mutants I’d prefer the kind you can ignore to run away screaming."
The air in the room changed the way it changed when Mayo did exactly that: not removing the weight, but reminding the mood in the room that the weight couldn’t exist alongside other things. So now both were allowed to be present at the same time.
Lin gave her a karate chop on the head, ’gentle one’ because Maria wasn’t there to do it properly, and Mayo made the sound of exaggerated pain that she made when she did something that didn’t deserve a big reaction and produced one anyway.
The guards had the varied expressions of a group that had spent enough time with Mayo to have calibrated the different registers of her interventions, and had arrived at the collective conclusion that this particular one was the one she reserved for moments she felt needed ventilation.
So Ren looked at Selphira.
Selphira looked back with the patience of someone who could wait for the Mayo moment to finish before continuing.
Ren nodded.
"I promise... Everyone comes back safe," he said. Not with the inflection of a dramatic declaration; with the calm of someone stating something they have decided will be true.
Selphira held his gaze for the second it took to evaluate whether what she had heard was what she needed to hear... Or the truth.
She nodded once.
Julius moved toward the table where the maps were already spread out.
"Then we begin," he said.
"I... Kinda already know the place." Said Ren, scratching his nape.
♢♢♢♢
Ren flew on the now bigger Mantis...
He had been able to do that before the advancement at Silver, but now that she was Gold, the size increase had finally made it less uncomfortable; the distribution of wind currents across the beast’s back was different at this scale, and though the Mantis was not the most aerodynamic beast by design, her new physicality and power let the rules of aerodynamics settle into a secondary plane where they could be overridden by brute force rather than worked around by geometry.


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