When The Luna Broke Her Chains novel Chapter 101

14:46 Wed, Apr 29 JMM

When The Luna Broke Her Chains

Chapter 101 Not Even A Simple Wish

[XENA]

Astrid continues to watch me, her brows faintly drawn. “What happened?” she asks. Her voice is gentle enough that it almost makes me answer honestly, say it out loud–that it’s my birthday. But it feels like something I shouldn’t have remembered at all.

I stop myself before the words can form properly and shake my head instead, forcing a small, dismissive breath out of me as I say, “No, it’s nothing.”

She hesitates again, her gaze lingering on me. She probably knows I am lying, but after a moment she nods anyway and says, “If you say so.”

A brief silence stretches between us before she shifts slightly and says, “I came to take you to the Luna Choosing Trial. It’s the first one, it’s going to be interesting,” and then, after a pause that feels deliberate, she adds, “I thought you’d want to go.”

It takes me a second to realise what she is doing–trying, in her own careful way, to be close to me again, to return to something we once had. I do miss her, I miss having someone who spoke to me, someone who simply stayed, but I can’t allow that again.

The thought of the petition slips into my mind, making me wonder if she has burned it yet. But I don’t ask that question; I bury it. Instead, I shake my head and say simply, “I don’t.”

Astrid’s lips form a frown. “You really don’t want to go?”

I answer just as plainly, “No.”

She studies me then, properly this time, like she is deciding whether to push further or let me be, and when she finally exhales and says, “Alright. If you’re sure,”

I nod once and say, “I am.”

She lingers a moment longer before adding, “I’ll come back later.”

“You don’t have to.”

She only gives a small, uncertain smile and replies, “I’ll come back.”

Astrid leaves, closing the door behind her.

I remain where I am for a long moment, staring ahead as the thought settles again, clearer now than been earlier–it’s my birthday–and the realization pulls a quiet, hollow breath from me.

dub

There was a time when both of us were celebrated, when Davina and I sat side by side, and the table was laid out with food and sweets and everything that made it feel like the day belonged to us equally, but even then. something had always been slightly off. I noticed but never allowed myself to name it, because even as a child, I understood that naming it would make it real.

They looked at her more, spoke to her more, smiled at her in ways that lingered longer, and I told myself I was imagining it, that I was being ungrateful, that I should be happy just to be included at all, but I see it clearly now she was theirs in a way I never was, and everything after my eighteenth year only made that

14:46 Wed, Apr 29 JMM

Chapter 101 Not Even A Simple Wish

truth impossible to ignore.

46

Finished

The moment I lost my wolf, whatever fragile place I had within that family seemed to vanish entirely, and the celebrations stopped as though they had only existed for her in the first place.

eve

The first year after my marriage, I remember returning to my father’s pack on this same day. I thought perhaps things would be different, that time or distance might have changed something, but nothing had, because Davina had returned from the Guild. All of them had gathered for her, and I stood there among them, waiting without realising I was waiting, until it became painfully clear that no one was going to turn to me, no one was going to say anything, not even a simple wish.

I think of Cassian. He never pushed me to go after that, never insisted, and I had mistaken that for kindness, for consideration, for something resembling care, but now it feels obvious that it was convenience. My absence only made things easier for everyone involved.

“He did wish me,” I say quietly, recalling it with a faint, humorless breath, “once… maybe twice.” Only when I reminded him, only when I forced the memory into his mind, and after that, even that small courtesy disappeared, and for the last three years, he has not said a word.

I press my hand against my face, dragging it down slowly as I try to steady myself, but the anger does not leave as easily as I want it to, and I find myself asking: Why does it still bother you?

To distract myself, I remember what I have done instead for the past few years.

The Luna’s temple. Every year, without fail, I’d go there with something small I had made myself, usually something sweet, and place it before the Moon Goddess’s altar, believing she’d answer me or change my circumstances one day.

“There has to be one here,” I murmur now, remembering Astrid mentioning once that there was a shrine somewhere within the palace grounds.

I push myself up slowly, steadying myself as the faint dizziness returns, and glance around the room with a small frown. I don’t have anything. There is nothing here I can offer, nothing I have made, nothing that feels like it belongs in a place like that, and for a moment I consider abandoning the idea altogether.

But then my gaze drifts toward the door, and I think of the feast hall, of the food that will be laid out for everyone attending the trial, more than enough for all of them, more than they could need.

They won’t notice.

I move toward the door without letting myself think any further, because if I stop now, I might not go at all. I will only keep thinking about things I cannot change, about people who have already made their choices. So I reach for the handle, pull it open, and step out, deciding that if nothing else, I will keep this one thing for myself.

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